Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

snake slithers
across scorching desert sands
sidewinder

I like this entry it is a very good one into the haiku reptile contest,
I wish you good luck
Mary

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

Comment from Capricorn30

Excellent

Good alliteration in this well-penned reptilian writing;
"snake slithers";
"scorching"; "sands";
A lonely place, the barren desert, but some creatures do manage to survive.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This haiku, snake slithers, with its thirteen syllables and three-seven-three format, definitely captures the travels of the sidewinder in its trek across the sandy desert floor.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

Comment from The Death

Excellent

Hi, mystery poet.

Very nice haiku! It has strong imagery, and you've worded it nicely. It captures a moment frozen in time.

snake slithers
across scorching desert sands
sidewinder

Superb use of S alliteration and consonance throughout. You've juxtaposed two images in the first two lines, which have excellent imagery. Good use of indirect 'kigo'. The third line is a wonderful interpretation of the observation.

Striking presentation of your work, though, the words can build an image on their own. This should be a strong contender. Excellent work!

Good luck!

Regards,
Anupam

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

have never really seen in real life...but would like to...they would be easy to track...very well written...and a great picture....

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014

thanks - appreciate your comments .. ;)

reply by l.raven on 11-Aug-2014

you are so welcome...xxoo

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

This haiku paints a clear picture of this particular snake. These creatures move so fast it's scary. Also poisonous, I understand. The picture adds interest to the poem.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014

Thanks - didn't know they were poisonous, so I'll stay away from them. Appreciate your comments ... ;)

Comment from rrabinow

Excellent

Well written haiku for this prompt. You got the syllable count. Great job with your use of description. The picture fits well with your haiku. Best of luck.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014

Thanks. Appreciate all your comments ... ;)

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Excellent haiku IMO, mystery writer.

This could have several meanings if the reader cared to think deeply.

It 'slithers' so as to avoid contact with the heat of reality, and could possibly be two-faced, as in 'sidewinder', OR could just be doing what comes naturally to get around.

Sure deserves to compete strongly.

Good luck and best wishes, Ray

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014

Thanks, Ray, for the deeper meanings. It could also refer to politicians - slippery, slithery, two-faced sidewinders constantly avoiding the heat of reality. I understand that they move fast and are poisonous, too, ... so it's best not to catch and pet one.
Appreciate your thoughts on this reptile haiku ... ;)

reply by Domino 2 on 11-Aug-2014

Thanks for your fun reply.

I wouldn't mind having a pet politician, so long as he/she was chained up in my basement.

I'd take good care of his nutritional requirements by feeding him his own bullshit. LOL.

Ray xx

Comment from NurseBarb

Excellent

Well written in only 13 syllables with a nice presentation and perfect last line "sidewinder" to describe this reptile. Good luck in the contest. I really like this one.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014

Thanks. Glad you liked it. Appreciate your comments ... ;)

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Good job. I like your poem. I see nothing to change. Although I do not like snakes, this one is good. Ha! Ha! Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014

Thanks. Glad you liked it. Appreciate your comments ... ;)