Aiona's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Rebellion"Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.
6 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Aiona,
This is a poem of adjectives which shows your rebellion to following rules of writing. Sometimes people can be too wordy in their writing. Being terse is good.
Did you cross out all the adjectives as a metaphor for not using nouns?
It does make it slightly harder to read.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a good day.
Joan
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Hi Aiona,
This is a poem of adjectives which shows your rebellion to following rules of writing. Sometimes people can be too wordy in their writing. Being terse is good.
Did you cross out all the adjectives as a metaphor for not using nouns?
It does make it slightly harder to read.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a good day.
Joan
Comment Written 28-Oct-2024
Comment from HL Pepper
You might think you do it too often, but you rock at writing so you are using them most effectively (my big one is adverbs). Nice, nice job. So talented you are and a blessing to many!!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2014
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You might think you do it too often, but you rock at writing so you are using them most effectively (my big one is adverbs). Nice, nice job. So talented you are and a blessing to many!!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2014
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Thank you, HL Pepper. Yeah, adverbs are my downfall.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
oh this is absolutely brillent
never saw one laid out like this and it is so cute
filled the rules and yet was very humerous.
made me chuckle
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014
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oh this is absolutely brillent
never saw one laid out like this and it is so cute
filled the rules and yet was very humerous.
made me chuckle
Comment Written 11-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Barb. :)
Comment from TOMORAL
I do this too. Great little piece here and the picture is me only I am female. The problem is I can never think of the proper noun to use!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014
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I do this too. Great little piece here and the picture is me only I am female. The problem is I can never think of the proper noun to use!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014
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Thank you. Yeah, I struggle with adverbs. I use them far too frequently, I guess.
Comment from Marillion
What a clever piece, Aiona! Not only do I like the conceit of the poem, I love the words you so aggressively marked out in favor of the remainder!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014
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What a clever piece, Aiona! Not only do I like the conceit of the poem, I love the words you so aggressively marked out in favor of the remainder!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014
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Heh. Thank you, Marillion. :)
Comment from Misrael
I can understand what you are saying because I am afraid I do the same thing. But one of these days I intend to take a course or two so I can get better. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014
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I can understand what you are saying because I am afraid I do the same thing. But one of these days I intend to take a course or two so I can get better. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Misrael. I am doing my best to cut out the adverbs. They call it "lazy writing," right? Man, it didn't feel like it when I was trying to figure out all the adverbs I could use for this poem!