Aiona's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Wet Dreams"Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.
4 total reviews
Comment from Megalips
I love the metaphor you use for sex here...riding an ocean wave...hearing it roar...growing louder... The Rushing...(orgasm). At the end, "and I can only cling to myself"...such a strong and unique way of suggesting a lovers absence and your need for them gone unattended (if I fall no one will catch me). "I must relinquish my hold to the sea"...(I have to let you go). This is really really good. So much in so little. Powerful and emotional. I see no reason for content warnings. I love the first person. My only thought would be that I want more...simplicity is genius but I just want more somehow. I do love it, though.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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I love the metaphor you use for sex here...riding an ocean wave...hearing it roar...growing louder... The Rushing...(orgasm). At the end, "and I can only cling to myself"...such a strong and unique way of suggesting a lovers absence and your need for them gone unattended (if I fall no one will catch me). "I must relinquish my hold to the sea"...(I have to let you go). This is really really good. So much in so little. Powerful and emotional. I see no reason for content warnings. I love the first person. My only thought would be that I want more...simplicity is genius but I just want more somehow. I do love it, though.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Megalips. :)
Comment from harmony13
An excellent poem. The poem flowed and connected well.
The author's words are creative and clear. The artwork is perfect and compliments this poem.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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An excellent poem. The poem flowed and connected well.
The author's words are creative and clear. The artwork is perfect and compliments this poem.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, but are you sure you meant my poem? I don't see any artwork in connection with it.
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Hi, I am sorry I meant to say color scheme and wrote artwork. Have a good week and thanks you for letting me know....harmony13
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Oh! Thank you. :)
Comment from kiwisteveh
Your note makes me query what I read into this, although surely the title must be deliberate when that phrase has such specific meaning.
So, OK, we're working with double meaning which means the whole poem is about orgasm.
Ah, just read the warning, so I didn't get it wrong - thank goodness for that.
In which case, congratulations on a clever and potent piece!
Steve
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Your note makes me query what I read into this, although surely the title must be deliberate when that phrase has such specific meaning.
So, OK, we're working with double meaning which means the whole poem is about orgasm.
Ah, just read the warning, so I didn't get it wrong - thank goodness for that.
In which case, congratulations on a clever and potent piece!
Steve
Comment Written 08-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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LOL! Thanks.
Comment from lauriesummer
I have always loved the ocean, and I think it can be a metaphor for so many things. I like how you use it as a metaphor for your feelings about a person. I would have liked it to have kept going.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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I have always loved the ocean, and I think it can be a metaphor for so many things. I like how you use it as a metaphor for your feelings about a person. I would have liked it to have kept going.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
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Thank you. Yes, I love the ocean too. And I would have loved for it to keep going too....