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Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Drinks"Shorter stories
27 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Oh...my...good...gracious, Bill. Hah, I guess that'll teach Sherry to listen to perfect strangers in the future, at least where ordering booze is concerned. Did I sense a hint of sarcastic delight in Kiley's demeanor, or is it just my over-active imagination playing tricks on me again? Seems Kiley may still be harboring some deeply rooted feelings for good old Knobby...e-r-r-r, heh-heh..., oops, I meant Bobby, of course.
This was so well plotted, and very witty and clever too, Bill. Now I'll have to close my review before I go and give you the "Big Head." God knows there's enough of that going on around here already, heh-heh.
If the contest is already over, I hope you won. If it isn't, I'll be watching for this one.
Good luck...~Dean
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Oh...my...good...gracious, Bill. Hah, I guess that'll teach Sherry to listen to perfect strangers in the future, at least where ordering booze is concerned. Did I sense a hint of sarcastic delight in Kiley's demeanor, or is it just my over-active imagination playing tricks on me again? Seems Kiley may still be harboring some deeply rooted feelings for good old Knobby...e-r-r-r, heh-heh..., oops, I meant Bobby, of course.
This was so well plotted, and very witty and clever too, Bill. Now I'll have to close my review before I go and give you the "Big Head." God knows there's enough of that going on around here already, heh-heh.
If the contest is already over, I hope you won. If it isn't, I'll be watching for this one.
Good luck...~Dean
Comment Written 12-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Dean, for the fun review. I'm just going through some previous submissions to put together enough for a short story collection.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Bill,
I enjoyed this little 'taking advantage of' tale. Kiley is a bit of a bitch and Sherry a bit dense. Patrick may be in for a nice or painful night!
Just a quick point that ginger and auburn aren't the same colour. Auburn is reddish brown - ginger is more of an orange tone.
Kiley leaned in closer to Sherry, who did the same. - maybe delete 'to Sherry' as the second part of the sentence actually says Sherry leant in closer to herself.
GMG
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Hi Bill,
I enjoyed this little 'taking advantage of' tale. Kiley is a bit of a bitch and Sherry a bit dense. Patrick may be in for a nice or painful night!
Just a quick point that ginger and auburn aren't the same colour. Auburn is reddish brown - ginger is more of an orange tone.
Kiley leaned in closer to Sherry, who did the same. - maybe delete 'to Sherry' as the second part of the sentence actually says Sherry leant in closer to herself.
GMG
Comment Written 12-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Thank you, GMG, for the excellent review and the in depth look at the sentence structure. I am definitely not a hair color authority. I thought these hair colors were actually the same. Happy day.
Comment from petalangela
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I would NEVER trust another all knowing woman at a bar, she was set up wrapped up and duct tapped like a Christmas gift lol
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I would NEVER trust another all knowing woman at a bar, she was set up wrapped up and duct tapped like a Christmas gift lol
Comment Written 11-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Petal, for giving this a look. Hope you enjoyed it. Bill
Comment from sandragee
What a vindictive person Kiley is. Bobby's ex is truly evil. Poor Sherry never stood a chance against such a woman. I hope I never meet such a person. Good job on the story.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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What a vindictive person Kiley is. Bobby's ex is truly evil. Poor Sherry never stood a chance against such a woman. I hope I never meet such a person. Good job on the story.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Sandra, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Jackreese
You set the scene for a great story. The ladies were down to earth and came across very realistic and that Kiley was a firecracker. Poor naïve, Sherry never saw it coming.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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You set the scene for a great story. The ladies were down to earth and came across very realistic and that Kiley was a firecracker. Poor naïve, Sherry never saw it coming.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Jack, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is a great write, bill, I had to smile at this one. revenge is sweet, but a woman's wrath knows no bounds. the poor woman has to pay her tab with something more than money.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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this is a great write, bill, I had to smile at this one. revenge is sweet, but a woman's wrath knows no bounds. the poor woman has to pay her tab with something more than money.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Pam, for giving this a look. Stay out of bars.
Comment from dmt1967
This is a really good story and very realistic. I liked the way the woman tricked Shirley into buying a drink. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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This is a really good story and very realistic. I liked the way the woman tricked Shirley into buying a drink. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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Thank you for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from mommerry
You have hit the "catty-girls" button. A real "gotcha" on this one. I didn't quite understand the = its not a who - its a what. On error that should be corrected: He's your bartender," relied Kiley (REPLIED)
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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You have hit the "catty-girls" button. A real "gotcha" on this one. I didn't quite understand the = its not a who - its a what. On error that should be corrected: He's your bartender," relied Kiley (REPLIED)
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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It's a Bad Joke. Thank you for the spelling catch and for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Rondeno
Only a woman can settle scores quite so ruthlessly. Kiley is wily, and poor Sherry is going to have her tonsils tickled! Fun story, Bill.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Only a woman can settle scores quite so ruthlessly. Kiley is wily, and poor Sherry is going to have her tonsils tickled! Fun story, Bill.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Thank you for taking a look at this one. Bill
Comment from chasennov
'Drinks.' An excellent, and hilarious situation you have written here. I enjoyed the read. Your formulation, I thought, was spot-on.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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'Drinks.' An excellent, and hilarious situation you have written here. I enjoyed the read. Your formulation, I thought, was spot-on.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Thank you for your encouraging review.
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You're most welcome.