One Crowded Hour
About the end of life's journey19 total reviews
Comment from NicciFaye
Excellent...and I don't have any more sixes I am allowed to give you...this was well done and beautifully written...the questions in the poem serve as a great insightful thoughts to ponder on and great appreciation for the final hour.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Excellent...and I don't have any more sixes I am allowed to give you...this was well done and beautifully written...the questions in the poem serve as a great insightful thoughts to ponder on and great appreciation for the final hour.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Thanks for the virtual six Nicci...glad you like this :) R
Comment from Selina Stambi
So very well done, my friend - for some reason it read, in my head, so much like Kipling's "If For Boys"
Your poetic style is inimitable. I wouldn't change anything in it.
Loved the final stanza.... a grand, sweeping conclusion.
All the best in the contest. Hope this one wins.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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So very well done, my friend - for some reason it read, in my head, so much like Kipling's "If For Boys"
Your poetic style is inimitable. I wouldn't change anything in it.
Loved the final stanza.... a grand, sweeping conclusion.
All the best in the contest. Hope this one wins.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Thanks Sonali. Glad you liked this and thanks also for the good wishes!
Comment from Jaq Cee
I thoroughly enjoyed this reflective piece R. I haven't really thought very long about this, but I guess I'd like to think I've left the world with a smile on a few faces.
Very well-written with strong rhymes. Good luck in the contest. :) Jaq xx
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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I thoroughly enjoyed this reflective piece R. I haven't really thought very long about this, but I guess I'd like to think I've left the world with a smile on a few faces.
Very well-written with strong rhymes. Good luck in the contest. :) Jaq xx
Comment Written 01-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Thanks once again JC for the 6. I'm really chuffed! R
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Thank you for writing a wonderful poem like this containing beautiful sentimen. Your rhyming and lines are very even and have delightful flow. Giddy
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Thank you for writing a wonderful poem like this containing beautiful sentimen. Your rhyming and lines are very even and have delightful flow. Giddy
Comment Written 01-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Thanks for the generous rating, Giddy. Glad you liked it! R
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
an excellent and original entry. How refreshing to see here on blandstory of all places. Wish you luck (even though we have one in this contest ourselves :) kind regards Connie and eph
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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an excellent and original entry. How refreshing to see here on blandstory of all places. Wish you luck (even though we have one in this contest ourselves :) kind regards Connie and eph
Comment Written 01-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Thanks once again. I'll have a look at your entry too soon! R
Comment from Zinnia48
I wanted to give you a 6 star, but apparently I'm out--so here's one virtually. I am constantly in awe of your use of language and metaphor. thanks for sharing your gift. Caroline
PS: I miss your actual photo! c.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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I wanted to give you a 6 star, but apparently I'm out--so here's one virtually. I am constantly in awe of your use of language and metaphor. thanks for sharing your gift. Caroline
PS: I miss your actual photo! c.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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The virtual 6 start is more than enough, thanks! :) Might bring back the actual photo, just for you. We'll see :)
Comment from jobax
The reflections upon life are cogent.
There are 16 syllables in the first and third lines of the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th verses which could be reduced to 15 with little change of meaning and which to my ear would read a bit smoother.
Also, what matter(s) ... night come(s) reads a bit smoother with the s, again to my ear!
Very nice rhyming!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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The reflections upon life are cogent.
There are 16 syllables in the first and third lines of the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th verses which could be reduced to 15 with little change of meaning and which to my ear would read a bit smoother.
Also, what matter(s) ... night come(s) reads a bit smoother with the s, again to my ear!
Very nice rhyming!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Thanks jobax for the review as well as for the corrections. I'll consider and ponder them soon! R
Comment from nancyjam
I enjoyed reading your quatrains. this is a powerful,
up-beat poem of encouragement for anyone facing
the end of the journey here on earth.
Great message that peThanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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I enjoyed reading your quatrains. this is a powerful,
up-beat poem of encouragement for anyone facing
the end of the journey here on earth.
Great message that peThanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Thanks nancyjam. Glad you like it! R
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I think this is a good poem to read on a Sunday. I appreciate the lines:
If the book that holds your story has a tale of love within it,
Then the path that lies behind you has been very good to tread.
I don't think you need the comma after "sun is gently sinking,"
but that's up to you.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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I think this is a good poem to read on a Sunday. I appreciate the lines:
If the book that holds your story has a tale of love within it,
Then the path that lies behind you has been very good to tread.
I don't think you need the comma after "sun is gently sinking,"
but that's up to you.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much, glad you like it! I'll make the correction soon. R
Comment from patsypats
Very delightful read. Full of vivid imagery with your carefully chosen words. The rhyming scheme adds so much character to your words and the rhythm is smooth and easy to follow:)
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Very delightful read. Full of vivid imagery with your carefully chosen words. The rhyming scheme adds so much character to your words and the rhythm is smooth and easy to follow:)
Comment Written 30-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much, glad you like it! R