Where is spring?
The calendar lied.12 total reviews
Comment from RYME4U
Very well done.Spring is hanging around here somewhere. The rhymes you've use are great and the even flow of words is well written.Nice strong words used here.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Very well done.Spring is hanging around here somewhere. The rhymes you've use are great and the even flow of words is well written.Nice strong words used here.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from BeasPeas
Last line, 'soaring on a broken wing' confuses a bit. Are you saying--sort of--it's like fighting with one hand tied behind your back?' Lines, 'where is spring, I long to sing' are very good. I'm giving 5 stars despite the broken wing part because the rest of your poem works well for me.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Last line, 'soaring on a broken wing' confuses a bit. Are you saying--sort of--it's like fighting with one hand tied behind your back?' Lines, 'where is spring, I long to sing' are very good. I'm giving 5 stars despite the broken wing part because the rest of your poem works well for me.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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If I could have used a (?) it might have explained it. What I meant was that Spring is wounded not quite all together. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
your poem is in excellent syllable count and structure for the Whitney
good alliteration in calendar can't
strong use of rhyme
nice alliteration in spring/sing/soaring
and I'm with you - where the heck is spring?
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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your poem is in excellent syllable count and structure for the Whitney
good alliteration in calendar can't
strong use of rhyme
nice alliteration in spring/sing/soaring
and I'm with you - where the heck is spring?
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thanks, Brooke. :.)
Comment from JuneYvonne
I love the first six lines of your Whitney - great meter and rhyme and a message I can relate to. Sometimes the calendar really gets it wrong.
Your last line, however, I find a bit of an enigma, and your picture of the injured bird is so sad. Have I missed the true message in your poem? Are you saying that you are ready to take off into Spring, but the Winter weather is holding you back (like a broken wing)?
I think I have convinced myself, and now I like the whole poem better than I did the first time I read it!
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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I love the first six lines of your Whitney - great meter and rhyme and a message I can relate to. Sometimes the calendar really gets it wrong.
Your last line, however, I find a bit of an enigma, and your picture of the injured bird is so sad. Have I missed the true message in your poem? Are you saying that you are ready to take off into Spring, but the Winter weather is holding you back (like a broken wing)?
I think I have convinced myself, and now I like the whole poem better than I did the first time I read it!
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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If punctuatuion were allowed there would be a ? at the end. it is suggesting that spring is not fully functional. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Deborah Marie
My sentiments exactly! Don't know and/or can't tell where Spring is either... Lovely poem, photo choice and color scheme. They enhance each other. Nice use of clever wording for an excellent read. Thanks for sharing, Deb
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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My sentiments exactly! Don't know and/or can't tell where Spring is either... Lovely poem, photo choice and color scheme. They enhance each other. Nice use of clever wording for an excellent read. Thanks for sharing, Deb
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is both whimsical and well done. Many who read it will identify with the writer and the mockingbird (?) who longs for spring to stay put. Good luck to you, Jeanie
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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This is both whimsical and well done. Many who read it will identify with the writer and the mockingbird (?) who longs for spring to stay put. Good luck to you, Jeanie
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Writingfundimension
What a fine contest entry, Dallas. I like this poetry style and think you have picked the perfect subject matter for your piece. The rhymes appear natural and unforced. This should be a top contender in the contest to my mind. Good luck... Bev
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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What a fine contest entry, Dallas. I like this poetry style and think you have picked the perfect subject matter for your piece. The rhymes appear natural and unforced. This should be a top contender in the contest to my mind. Good luck... Bev
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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Thanks, Bev. Have a bright weekend.
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You, as well, Dallas. :0)
Comment from Joan E.
This is my second rhyming Whitney poem in a row, and I like the addition--it adds enormously to the intensity of your poem. Your yearning for spring is palpable, and your personification of the calendar along with the vivid "broken wing" metaphor are brilliant. This entry has to be a winner! Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2013
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This is my second rhyming Whitney poem in a row, and I like the addition--it adds enormously to the intensity of your poem. Your yearning for spring is palpable, and your personification of the calendar along with the vivid "broken wing" metaphor are brilliant. This entry has to be a winner! Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the great review. Appreciate it. Rhyme certainly adds an element of difficulty.
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I appreciate your challenging yourself. I admire the Whitney form and rhyme adds to its impact. Again, best wishes in the contest with this splendid entry. Hugs- Joan
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Thanks, Joan. Have a great weekend.
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Thank you--I hope yours is a lovely spring weekend! -J
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Temperature is rising.
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Yipee! -J
Comment from nancyjam
Great little Whitney. Clever rhyming lines
that are in perfect syllable count.
I think a lot of people are disgusted at the late
arrival of spring.
Best of luck in the contest. Nancy.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2013
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Great little Whitney. Clever rhyming lines
that are in perfect syllable count.
I think a lot of people are disgusted at the late
arrival of spring.
Best of luck in the contest. Nancy.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2013
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Charlene0513
To DALLAS01,
Indeed for all it is a very vexing spring that brings with it the blues; doom and gloom.
Even the groundhog never got it right this year; very disheartening.
Charlene
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2013
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To DALLAS01,
Indeed for all it is a very vexing spring that brings with it the blues; doom and gloom.
Even the groundhog never got it right this year; very disheartening.
Charlene
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2013
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Thank you for reviewing.