My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Dance of Love."All of my poems of release.
20 total reviews
Comment from teafor2
Jaq Cee--How did I miss this sparse, but timely alliter-
ated sensuous piece. All the moves appears to be recipro-
cated, so dance on. An adult written read with an enticing ending query. teafpr2
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
Jaq Cee--How did I miss this sparse, but timely alliter-
ated sensuous piece. All the moves appears to be recipro-
cated, so dance on. An adult written read with an enticing ending query. teafpr2
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Lol thanks for that t, great to have your views on this :) Jaq xx
Comment from closetpoetjester
Are you kidding? You nearly had me blushing...yum.
Only thing is I'm not convinced with your question at the end you saucy temptress.
Of COURSE you know the answer to that is a big FAT yes!
Well written...just the right amount of heat and erotica not to take it into the pool of porn and just the right amount of burning loins to make it non-pretentious and cheesy.
I tell you, some of the top dogs that write romance need to take a leaf out of THIS notepad. Romance often hard to do without sounding like whats happening ain't really happening at all...Good show! Sorry but I felt a little voyeurish reading this! YOUR fault! LMAO
Well written, not a waste of a syllable...I see you burnt to ash any unnecessaries. Supurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb
Cheers P
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2013
Are you kidding? You nearly had me blushing...yum.
Only thing is I'm not convinced with your question at the end you saucy temptress.
Of COURSE you know the answer to that is a big FAT yes!
Well written...just the right amount of heat and erotica not to take it into the pool of porn and just the right amount of burning loins to make it non-pretentious and cheesy.
I tell you, some of the top dogs that write romance need to take a leaf out of THIS notepad. Romance often hard to do without sounding like whats happening ain't really happening at all...Good show! Sorry but I felt a little voyeurish reading this! YOUR fault! LMAO
Well written, not a waste of a syllable...I see you burnt to ash any unnecessaries. Supurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb
Cheers P
Comment Written 03-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2013
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Hey there P thanks for your lovely words and for reading this. Lol @ voyeuristic :) I'm still learning and any help is much appreciated. I'm getting the 'less is more' message on these type of poems :) Jaq xx
Great to have you read them indeed xx
Comment from Gungalo
JC this would be much better broken into smaller verses like so:
you (quietly)
quiver
as my touch (softly,
sensual)
traces your
thigh--
sparkling sapphire eyes
shine as (the)
candlelight caresses
them,
coal black hair
sleek, sophisticated...
Heavenly handsome
on our sultry Spanish
tryst,
full of surprises
you (gently) take my hand,
guitar strumming slowly
we take to the floor
you pull me close
to your chest,
our bodies touch
(the) heat is
intense,
whispering words
of love
I feel like I'm
floating
as you (expertly)
guide me
leaving me to
wantonly wonder--
will you lead me
to ecstasy?
Every where a word is in ( ) I would remove the word to make for clearer understanding. It's good girl but slightly over done.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2013
JC this would be much better broken into smaller verses like so:
you (quietly)
quiver
as my touch (softly,
sensual)
traces your
thigh--
sparkling sapphire eyes
shine as (the)
candlelight caresses
them,
coal black hair
sleek, sophisticated...
Heavenly handsome
on our sultry Spanish
tryst,
full of surprises
you (gently) take my hand,
guitar strumming slowly
we take to the floor
you pull me close
to your chest,
our bodies touch
(the) heat is
intense,
whispering words
of love
I feel like I'm
floating
as you (expertly)
guide me
leaving me to
wantonly wonder--
will you lead me
to ecstasy?
Every where a word is in ( ) I would remove the word to make for clearer understanding. It's good girl but slightly over done.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2013
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Thank you so much for looking in, I'm grateful for your input girlie. I'll look at that when I get back home xxxx
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Okay JC.
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Thanks again xx
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No problem JC.
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I can see where less is more Gungalo. Thanks for this very helpful review. On my phone just now so can't implement changes as yet xxx
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It's up to you JC but I'd advise it.
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Yea I wouldn't have wanted you to look at it if I wasn't looking for your advice girlie. Thanks for your help xxxx
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Thanks you so very much.
Comment from GarthL
Good alliteration throughout this sensual tryst Jaq. Flows beautifully with some nice internal rhymes and Spanish guitar to set the tone. Lovely illustration and video to enhance the pleasure. A delightful read this morning thank you. Happy Easter and staysafe, Garth xox
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2013
Good alliteration throughout this sensual tryst Jaq. Flows beautifully with some nice internal rhymes and Spanish guitar to set the tone. Lovely illustration and video to enhance the pleasure. A delightful read this morning thank you. Happy Easter and staysafe, Garth xox
Comment Written 29-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2013
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Thank you so very much for your wonderful review Garth. Have a great Easter. Peace n Love to you and Prue xx
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Cheers Jaq, enjoy the eggs!!??
Comment from Tomoso
Jaq Cee,
Dance of Love is a delightfully, passionate poem. "our bodies touch
the heat is
intense" This is well penned with great artwork, and I loved your words of alliteration "sleek, sophisticated...
Heavenly handsome".
Well done,thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
Jaq Cee,
Dance of Love is a delightfully, passionate poem. "our bodies touch
the heat is
intense" This is well penned with great artwork, and I loved your words of alliteration "sleek, sophisticated...
Heavenly handsome".
Well done,thanks for sharing
Comment Written 29-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review :) Jaq xx
Comment from Rondeno
Mmmmmmmmmmmm ......... verbally highly accomplished, very evocative - and deeply, deeply sexy. This is a wonderful piece of writing.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
Mmmmmmmmmmmm ......... verbally highly accomplished, very evocative - and deeply, deeply sexy. This is a wonderful piece of writing.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
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So glad you enjoyed this Meehal :) xxx
Comment from Ronni
Very sultry, sensual, alluringly romantic love
poem, with passions and desieres on an ascending
gravity and fiery convoultion of lustful ecsatacy.
A hot write, perfect tone and tempo, and fantastic
pic and vid music...thanks for sharing...
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
Very sultry, sensual, alluringly romantic love
poem, with passions and desieres on an ascending
gravity and fiery convoultion of lustful ecsatacy.
A hot write, perfect tone and tempo, and fantastic
pic and vid music...thanks for sharing...
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
-
Your review is much appreciated Ronni. Thank you so much xx
Comment from MM lives on :)
Wow, this was not just a simple love poem but one full of sultry delights that tickled my tongue with imagination and emotional imagination, the guitar is a symbol of sensuality !
BRILLIANT AND BRAVO!!!!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
Wow, this was not just a simple love poem but one full of sultry delights that tickled my tongue with imagination and emotional imagination, the guitar is a symbol of sensuality !
BRILLIANT AND BRAVO!!!!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
-
Awww thanks so much for a wonderful review and rating. You are so kind xxx
Comment from October21
Excellent poem Jaq! You take us to where they are dancing so swiftly... Alliteration is perfect in "quietly quiver" and "sparkling sapphire"- which is an amazing description, so strong:-)
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
Excellent poem Jaq! You take us to where they are dancing so swiftly... Alliteration is perfect in "quietly quiver" and "sparkling sapphire"- which is an amazing description, so strong:-)
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
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Thanks again Shenel, it just sort of came to me earlier. I got a bit lost in the atmosphere myself. :) Jaq xx
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As we all do when our muses decide to give us something new LOL!:-) xx
Comment from Black_Oxygen
This poetry transports the reader to a sensual dance.
I like the way that the words are arranged on the
page. The flow is like a dance and it goes down easy.
The attached photo is a befitting accent that enhances
the message. Thank You for your creation.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
This poetry transports the reader to a sensual dance.
I like the way that the words are arranged on the
page. The flow is like a dance and it goes down easy.
The attached photo is a befitting accent that enhances
the message. Thank You for your creation.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2013
-
Thank you so much B_O it's always nice to hear to hear your thoughts. :) Jaq xx