All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Not enough?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
101 total reviews
Comment from mizzkris20
Congratulations on the win! I see why you've won. This poem has brought tears to my eyes and shows the lack of care in this world. You have written a brilliant piece here
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
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Congratulations on the win! I see why you've won. This poem has brought tears to my eyes and shows the lack of care in this world. You have written a brilliant piece here
Comment Written 07-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much mizzkris! :)Sharyn
Comment from Laureen Bennett
This poem is such an excellent look at what is really important in life and what takes most of our time and attention. A wonderfully poignant read about compassion and the needy all around us. Although the tone is somber here, the message is so heartfelt and real. An excellent job!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
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This poem is such an excellent look at what is really important in life and what takes most of our time and attention. A wonderfully poignant read about compassion and the needy all around us. Although the tone is somber here, the message is so heartfelt and real. An excellent job!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
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Laureen, thank you SO much for your reading, reviewing and understanding my work. I so appreciate that and, of course, I also appreciate that wonderful SIX!
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, visionary, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the lack of care the world seems to present and how we often find ourselves doing the same thing. congratulations on the win.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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this is very well written, visionary, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the lack of care the world seems to present and how we often find ourselves doing the same thing. congratulations on the win.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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thx sweets! :)S
Comment from Black_Oxygen
This poetry has a powerful meaning. The flow is fluid
and it is easy to read. It held my interest from start
to finish (other poetry does not). I also like the
way this piece if formatted. Thank You for your
creation.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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This poetry has a powerful meaning. The flow is fluid
and it is easy to read. It held my interest from start
to finish (other poetry does not). I also like the
way this piece if formatted. Thank You for your
creation.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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thx so much my dear! :)S
Comment from Janet Foor
Congratulations on the win. This is a very well written poem that shares the inequality of life in a poignant and thoughtful way.
Great picture and presentation.
Thank you for sharing.
Janet
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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Congratulations on the win. This is a very well written poem that shares the inequality of life in a poignant and thoughtful way.
Great picture and presentation.
Thank you for sharing.
Janet
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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thx so much Janet! :) Sharyn
Comment from Reddy Rimer
Oh, if only I knew all the proper terms to speak intelligently about your poem. Please don't let that keep you from enjoying the 6 star rating. You see, I think it is unique in style, glaring in the inequalities called for in the contest. Yes, it is cold and yes, it is dark.
The many images you presented show how completely "the world is far too much" for you. The boy as you describe him is a vivid picture and illustrates your jumbled feelings as you see him each day.
Connie
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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Oh, if only I knew all the proper terms to speak intelligently about your poem. Please don't let that keep you from enjoying the 6 star rating. You see, I think it is unique in style, glaring in the inequalities called for in the contest. Yes, it is cold and yes, it is dark.
The many images you presented show how completely "the world is far too much" for you. The boy as you describe him is a vivid picture and illustrates your jumbled feelings as you see him each day.
Connie
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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Well bless you, Big-Time, Connie, for your reaction to this piece! And yes, for that lovely SIXER too! (Made my afternoon tea awfully sweet!)
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from poetic1988
nice flow
with the deep meaning behind it
seems like to be more behind to it than what it means
HUNGRY
he cries
but doesn't even ask for help -
maybe he can't spell it
or write it
or
think
it
Every day
I drive right by him
smile ...
and press "disconnect" on my phone
not enough?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
 |
nice flow
with the deep meaning behind it
seems like to be more behind to it than what it means
HUNGRY
he cries
but doesn't even ask for help -
maybe he can't spell it
or write it
or
think
it
Every day
I drive right by him
smile ...
and press "disconnect" on my phone
not enough?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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Hi p1988 - did you mean to give me a "four" rating? If so, please do elaborate on what you'd like to see changed - as per Fanstory review guidelines (below). And if not, kindly consider re-rating if you'd be so kind.
From the site FAQ page-
The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed) - For anything this rating or below, PLEASE provide feedback so that your rating makes sense and gives me understanding. :)
Three Stars (Below average)
Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
One Star (Poor: Major revision required)
Please do not rate at a level that indicates you feel it needs revision or adjustments without sharing what those are; it is important for the author to know the reasoning behind the rating or it can be confusing. :)
Thank you for stopping by and we hope these reviewing guidelines help those who are new understand how reviewing/rating works. For specifics on how to review the various different forms of writing (poems vs. short works, etc), see the FAQs part of the site under the 'INFO' tab. There is a lot of helpful information.
Thanks!
Sharyn
Comment from words
I like the wry irony of this piece.
I see why it won.
I especially liked: in my money-and-planet-saving
funny
banner-waving
holier-than-thou
fuel-efficient car
after spending far too much at Big-Box-Mart
stacking up my cart with feel-good vitamins
and made-cheap-in-China "must have's"
sewn by children ...
I am guessing that you don't own a hybrid. LOL
Hugs, d
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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I like the wry irony of this piece.
I see why it won.
I especially liked: in my money-and-planet-saving
funny
banner-waving
holier-than-thou
fuel-efficient car
after spending far too much at Big-Box-Mart
stacking up my cart with feel-good vitamins
and made-cheap-in-China "must have's"
sewn by children ...
I am guessing that you don't own a hybrid. LOL
Hugs, d
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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actually, I DO!!! That's what's so funny! Thanks for your lovely words, d! :)S
Comment from Gungalo
First, congrats for winning this contest using this piece. Then it is awfully hard to stop for what are you going to do? It's a sad situation for sure.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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First, congrats for winning this contest using this piece. Then it is awfully hard to stop for what are you going to do? It's a sad situation for sure.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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thx Gungalo! :)S
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Smile
Comment from dmt1967
This is hard my friend one person doing the right thing isn't enough I am glad you won the contest it was well deserved thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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This is hard my friend one person doing the right thing isn't enough I am glad you won the contest it was well deserved thank you for sharing
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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no, one person isn't enough, unfortunately - so we all choose to do nothing and feel powerless, yes? Thx so much for reviewing, my dear! :)Sharyn