Picture This
contest entry11 total reviews
Comment from trimple
I think that this beautiful piece of writing should be plastered on every wall of every home.
I feel that it brings back to each and every one of us just how precious love is.
Sometimes we forget
sometimes we don't realise
sometimes it is all just gets taken for granted
sometimes......
Fabulous
A worthy winner!
Congratulations
Trimple :)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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I think that this beautiful piece of writing should be plastered on every wall of every home.
I feel that it brings back to each and every one of us just how precious love is.
Sometimes we forget
sometimes we don't realise
sometimes it is all just gets taken for granted
sometimes......
Fabulous
A worthy winner!
Congratulations
Trimple :)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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You are very generoyas. Thanks
Comment from purrfect tale
You really touched me with this one. There is so much emotion in such a short tale. Wish I could give it the six it deserves, but now that I'm a standard member I'm not given sixes to use.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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You really touched me with this one. There is so much emotion in such a short tale. Wish I could give it the six it deserves, but now that I'm a standard member I'm not given sixes to use.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
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Thanks so much/
Comment from suneagle
Aw, that's a nice story--sad, but nice. Perhaps, though, your story is more a sense of 'person' than place.
When I think back on your story I remember the boy and his feelings, not so much where he was at the time.
I've noted some minor observations that you may like to consider:
I was only seven, but that year, my [mama] bought me a fountain pen and a bottle of liquid ink.
(No capital when the relationship word follows a pronoun.)
and I tried very hard to be neat, to dot my '[i]' and cross my 't.'
even when I try to remember long, long ago[.] But, I'll always recognize the rhythm of her heart.
I trust I've been helpful. PM if you have any comments or questions about this review.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Aw, that's a nice story--sad, but nice. Perhaps, though, your story is more a sense of 'person' than place.
When I think back on your story I remember the boy and his feelings, not so much where he was at the time.
I've noted some minor observations that you may like to consider:
I was only seven, but that year, my [mama] bought me a fountain pen and a bottle of liquid ink.
(No capital when the relationship word follows a pronoun.)
and I tried very hard to be neat, to dot my '[i]' and cross my 't.'
even when I try to remember long, long ago[.] But, I'll always recognize the rhythm of her heart.
I trust I've been helpful. PM if you have any comments or questions about this review.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
Comment from elliejean
A child going blind is very bad. She had just enough memories to confuse her. The brilliant colors are the things she remembers the most. How sad, she can not remember her Mothers face. But she felt her in her heart. That is love. Great work.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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A child going blind is very bad. She had just enough memories to confuse her. The brilliant colors are the things she remembers the most. How sad, she can not remember her Mothers face. But she felt her in her heart. That is love. Great work.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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A very kind response, thank you.
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is very touching and sorrowful writing at its best - you have brought us into your protagonist's world and made us understand the feeling of being blind and afraid.You describe the hospital very well. Good luck in the contest. I found nothing I would change in this lovely story.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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This is very touching and sorrowful writing at its best - you have brought us into your protagonist's world and made us understand the feeling of being blind and afraid.You describe the hospital very well. Good luck in the contest. I found nothing I would change in this lovely story.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Thanks for hanging out with me in the ore dawn hours.
Comment from lakeport
Picture this,that must be horable to loose once eye sight.
that's a very touch story, Thanks for sharing it.God bless you, Hugs!lakeport.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Picture this,that must be horable to loose once eye sight.
that's a very touch story, Thanks for sharing it.God bless you, Hugs!lakeport.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2013
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Loss of any kind is hard to handle.
Comment from Lee62
A moving and beautiful piece. I don't usually give 5 star reviews, but this more than earned it. I feel the love you have for your mama. The part about the ink pen and its color on white paper was very visual in my mind. I especially liked when your mama placed your hand to her heart so that you knew it was her. You've written a memorable story here. Thank you. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
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A moving and beautiful piece. I don't usually give 5 star reviews, but this more than earned it. I feel the love you have for your mama. The part about the ink pen and its color on white paper was very visual in my mind. I especially liked when your mama placed your hand to her heart so that you knew it was her. You've written a memorable story here. Thank you. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
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I appreciate your kind words and generous review, but having been on the site for a number of years I am puzzled as to why you think budget your appreciation, not for me, in general. I do go weeks where six stars are never used and don't think I squander them. but there are so many brilliant writers here and some ehom I've walked with from their first sentence until their work is published and in print. Find people you admire or ideas that knock you out and really enjoy the process.
Comment from Walu Feral
Congratulations on a brilliant story. You have painted a picture of love and hardship and one where love is the winner. Cheers Fez.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
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Congratulations on a brilliant story. You have painted a picture of love and hardship and one where love is the winner. Cheers Fez.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
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Thanks so much. Even the sighted can be blind, but I appreciate you read this with an open heart.
Comment from Allison78
The rules for this prompt make no sense to me! Anyway, I think this is very moving and heartfelt. Your imagery is wonderful, I feel like I can see everything you describe.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
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The rules for this prompt make no sense to me! Anyway, I think this is very moving and heartfelt. Your imagery is wonderful, I feel like I can see everything you describe.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
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Thanks. The sponser of the contest gets to ,ake the rules. The readers get the final say.
Comment from Chanphy
I like your story. It is very creative. You paint a beautiful in our minds just like you painted them in the character's mind. Your description is clear as you use very precise words to bring those images alive.
Great work.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
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I like your story. It is very creative. You paint a beautiful in our minds just like you painted them in the character's mind. Your description is clear as you use very precise words to bring those images alive.
Great work.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
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Thank you...spring is coming.