My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 148 "Senryu(lies not truths)"All of my poems of release.
9 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
I like this senryu dispite the idea that I have that it should lean more to humor than this. The sentiment is ral though and the styling makes it work. The graphic is tremendous.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2012
I like this senryu dispite the idea that I have that it should lean more to humor than this. The sentiment is ral though and the styling makes it work. The graphic is tremendous.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2012
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Thanks so much for your kind review. :) Jaq x
Comment from missy98writer
Poet,
Your senryu poem is extremely well written with strong imagery painted in an economy of words.
The art work you used is wicked awesome.
Excellent alliteration with the T words cap off your poem,
Your satori line is great.
You also used very good metaphor: "from their snake-like tongues."
I enjoyed all three lines:
lies not truths
from their snake-like tongues
belief gone
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Would I recommend your Senryu poem to other reviewers?
Yes, I would,
Impressive write in 3-5-3 format,
Missy.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2012
Poet,
Your senryu poem is extremely well written with strong imagery painted in an economy of words.
The art work you used is wicked awesome.
Excellent alliteration with the T words cap off your poem,
Your satori line is great.
You also used very good metaphor: "from their snake-like tongues."
I enjoyed all three lines:
lies not truths
from their snake-like tongues
belief gone
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Would I recommend your Senryu poem to other reviewers?
Yes, I would,
Impressive write in 3-5-3 format,
Missy.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2012
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Thanks missy, I enjoy these challenges, it's just a bit strange when you don't get even 1 vote, but a lot of great reviews. :) Jaq x
Comment from elliejean
I love the picture. I love the poem. Lies betray trust. The trust is never brought back to what it used to be. I love the message. Great work.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
I love the picture. I love the poem. Lies betray trust. The trust is never brought back to what it used to be. I love the message. Great work.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello Poet. It seems quite the strange write in some ways. I mean certainly it can be about politics but, it also would apply to so many other areas ... Great stuff to ponder. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
Hello Poet. It seems quite the strange write in some ways. I mean certainly it can be about politics but, it also would apply to so many other areas ... Great stuff to ponder. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 03-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much Kiwi.
Comment from fictionwriter
Wow, that is awesome. I'm sure there are some that are truly snakes and they don't mind lying. I know one such person who can't even keep the lies they tell straight. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
Wow, that is awesome. I'm sure there are some that are truly snakes and they don't mind lying. I know one such person who can't even keep the lies they tell straight. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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They are indeed a breed apart fictionwriter. Thanks for your kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
great pairing of art and complementary poem
Your poem is in excellent 3/5/3 form
excellent commentary on the lying of politicians with their snake-like tongues - good imagery :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
great pairing of art and complementary poem
Your poem is in excellent 3/5/3 form
excellent commentary on the lying of politicians with their snake-like tongues - good imagery :-) Brooke
Comment Written 03-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thanks so much for your review as always Brooke.
Comment from DIS-illusioned
"Political verbal diarrhoea."
Oh dear, here we go. LOL
Haunting picture art choice to complement your theme.
Excellent 3-5-3 syllabic format.
"their snake-like tongues"
Good analogy/simile for the words of politicians. Sad, but too often true.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012
"Political verbal diarrhoea."
Oh dear, here we go. LOL
Haunting picture art choice to complement your theme.
Excellent 3-5-3 syllabic format.
"their snake-like tongues"
Good analogy/simile for the words of politicians. Sad, but too often true.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012
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Cheers Dis much appreciated.
Comment from Peridot73
Excellent! An excellent picture! This is so true of the political arena. You have put a mountain of truth in a nutshell. I applaud your perception in this grave situation that affects all of our lives but only benefits a small percentage. Peridot
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012
Excellent! An excellent picture! This is so true of the political arena. You have put a mountain of truth in a nutshell. I applaud your perception in this grave situation that affects all of our lives but only benefits a small percentage. Peridot
Comment Written 03-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much Peridot x
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I am humbled by your rating my friend.
Comment from dannielleduran
I think you hit them all there. Well done. Structurally your poem is exact with syllable structure. Loved the picture and the color scheme. Actually, loved the poem too.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012
I think you hit them all there. Well done. Structurally your poem is exact with syllable structure. Loved the picture and the color scheme. Actually, loved the poem too.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012
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Thanks so much for your kind review.