My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "My Mind"All of my poems of release.
8 total reviews
Comment from anabellapongasi
I like the use of rhyming words room, broom, doom, gloom. This 5-7-5 is in good form and has a good flow and I like the overall positive tone of it. Good luck in the contest!
Anabella
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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I like the use of rhyming words room, broom, doom, gloom. This 5-7-5 is in good form and has a good flow and I like the overall positive tone of it. Good luck in the contest!
Anabella
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Thank you Annabella, your feedback is most appreciated. Jaq x
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You're welcome...:)
Anabella
Comment from bonnie composanto
Nice job with the 5-7-5 haiku poem. The rhyming is good and the flow of words works well. Good job for your first haiku poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Nice job with the 5-7-5 haiku poem. The rhyming is good and the flow of words works well. Good job for your first haiku poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much :)
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you are welcome
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well done the syllable count is spot on and as it is 5 7 5 you can create a poem on any subject you have done well I think I need a new broom good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Yes this is well done the syllable count is spot on and as it is 5 7 5 you can create a poem on any subject you have done well I think I need a new broom good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Thanks Jill, I found this harder than one with lots of words :). this will be a learning curve I will enjoy I think. Jaq
Comment from zlp22
Good poem, you have followed all the rules. great first attempt. Good word flow, nothing more was needed, however a picture may have been a good lead in. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Good poem, you have followed all the rules. great first attempt. Good word flow, nothing more was needed, however a picture may have been a good lead in. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Thanks for your kind words :)
Comment from terry drake
5-7-5 verse format challenge successfully accomplished with your three line verse about cleaning your room. I think this format is difficult to truly impress but you accomplished the requirements for the verse.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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5-7-5 verse format challenge successfully accomplished with your three line verse about cleaning your room. I think this format is difficult to truly impress but you accomplished the requirements for the verse.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much for your kind appraisal. Makes me realise that there is more to poetry than just rhyming it. Jaq
Comment from Rebel Rose
For it to be your first attempt at this kinda thing I have to say that it is pretty good. I get the point for the most part. It kind of reminds me of my entry just a little bit. I enjoyed the thought process behind it. Look forward to reading more from you. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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For it to be your first attempt at this kinda thing I have to say that it is pretty good. I get the point for the most part. It kind of reminds me of my entry just a little bit. I enjoyed the thought process behind it. Look forward to reading more from you. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Cheers Rebel Rose, I haven't seen any more entries as I've just joined today. Would love to read more. Jaq
Comment from Eliza M
Well, you have the 5 7 5 syllable count OK!
I really like this neat little poem, youve packed loads of goodies into the 3 short lines including a thought provoking message! Good alliteration with 'dark dank dusty' and effective rhymes. I don't think there's a need for the commas or the capital 's'' n' in swept and no.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Well, you have the 5 7 5 syllable count OK!
I really like this neat little poem, youve packed loads of goodies into the 3 short lines including a thought provoking message! Good alliteration with 'dark dank dusty' and effective rhymes. I don't think there's a need for the commas or the capital 's'' n' in swept and no.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Thank you for your comment I will revisit it. I need to brush up on some things grammar-wise.
Comment from TammyGail
Lol.. I think I need to borrow your broom :)
excellent work crafting this verse
how funny and so very creative
thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Lol.. I think I need to borrow your broom :)
excellent work crafting this verse
how funny and so very creative
thanks for sharing
Comment Written 05-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012
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Thanks again Tammy, any time, it's always available. :)