Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Hah, yeah, what IS the point, really? You can't say this, and don't personify that. make it about nature (oh, dear God in heaven, it simply MUST have a nature reference!), and for heaven's sakes, what--ever--you--do...never, I repeat, NEVER use art or pictures to accompany your writing!

Well, I'm set, bound and determined to win one of these damned things yet, and I ain't stopping until I do! Get ready, FanStory, your site will soon be inundated with shitty, Americanized haiku by yours truly!

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

LOL! Glad you enjoyed it. At the time, I didn't know a haiku from a clogged toilet, but it was 5-7-5 at least. :)

reply by Dean Kuch on 11-Jun-2014

yep, it was that...and then some, LOL...

Comment from Solacium Mariae

Good

What I love is the play you made in the selection of your poem title.

The picture is perfect-mystified and frustrated with (or by) a tiny piece of paper.

This is quite a cute little poem!

But since I only gave it a 4 before, I've come back to take a second look, and will post in a reply.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 21-May-2012

---

reply by the author on 21-May-2012

Thank you.

reply by Solacium Mariae on 23-May-2012

Revisiting all the 4s I've given...
A cute poem, yes. Unique? A little. So in thinking about what makes this good from my view rather than excellent, I was at first hard pressed. The grammar, of course, is perfect. The alliteration in both the first and second lines is great. And then I thought, it's just not that interesting. Now, granted, it's a haiku. That can be difficult to make interesting. It's a cute poem, but a less-than captivating poem. The question for me now was - why? The first answer I had was that there was nothing to think about, no communication with the piece. Then what struck me was word choice. The difference between a four and five in this case coming down to one of vocabulary. Obviously there's nothing wrong with the vocabulary chosen; the poem's well written. But that was the difference between the four and five this time.

Comment from phill doran

Excellent

Hello Phyllis
I have been writing reviews for three days solidly now - earning dollars and abuse in equal measure.
It is a real pleasure to read something that is a) correctly written b) funny and c) something I totally agree with.
I wish you well; I hope you have a brilliant week ahead of you...

Cheers

phill

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2012

Thanks, Phill! <> LOL! I know what you mean! You have a brilliant sunshiny week youself, from one Phyl to another. :)

Comment from tinams

Excellent

I enjoyed your lovely tongue in cheek dig at Haikus Phyllis. I too had the same opinion of them until I really tried them and now I find them a really enjoyable form of expression, but they do have to be just right or they do come accross pointless I agree :) Tina

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2012

Thanks, Tina! It was all in good fun. I write haikus and senyrus myself. Just couldn't resist how close the word sound was. :)

Comment from xxjsfuncxxxity

Excellent

Now this one really says it all. The anti-haiku Haiku, hahahaha!!!

Shows a great imagination and refreshing irreverence. And it's a great little haiku to boot!

Great work! Keep going...
cheers
js

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2012

Thanks! It was all in good fun... one of those "can't resist this" things. I write haikus and senyrus sometimes too. :)

Comment from K.Disha

Excellent

yes i agree completly!
a haiku is too short to express your self completly...
Thanks for EXPOSIG HAIKUS,
same here, did ot want to offend anybody!

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2012

---

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012

Thanks! Lots of us hiding in the closet. Thought it was time to come out and just SAY it! "The Japanese emporer has no clothes." :)

Comment from Hnew19

Excellent

U summed haikus up!!!! Amazing thats the most ive ever identifief with a haiku! Great work! I think your poem would look better if you had used capatilization and punctuation though.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2012

---

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012

Thank you! I took your advice and I DO like it better with caps and punct. :)

Comment from ennahanid

Excellent

It is just so hard with those little snippets to write enough to keep happy the 'review watchers' who send that message your review is not long enough.

I am not a fan, but I'm not much into form, I never did take to following instruction well LOL

Dinah

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2012

---

reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012

Thanks! I know what you mean. Our review has to be longer than the silly poem... LOL!

Comment from G.B. Smith

Excellent

Hello again Phyllis
I wouldn't know a haiku style poem from a mail box. I aint interested in getting a great reward for being such a star writer. I write what I feel and how I feel at the time. Nicely written
Bear

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2012

---

reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012

I wouldn't know a haiku style poem from a mail box.
ROFLMAO! Good to hear!

Comment from Capture

Excellent

Apology is not required for in offence lies education into the character of self and the trigger which divine's such sad choice of reaction, should the offended care to introspect.

Your titke ties in nicely with the mood of your piece as well as it's intention.

Well done!

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2012

---

reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012

Thanks so much for saying that!