The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "The Red Dress chapter forty-five"The story of a teenage girl
26 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
That just tears it. Somebody give me the rusty axe, I'm ready to remove the jewels of Nick and that bloody barrister of his. Can't send him to the leeches - they wouldn't have him. I am officially disgusted with this court proceeding. Pffffftttt. :-(
Excellent chapter!
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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That just tears it. Somebody give me the rusty axe, I'm ready to remove the jewels of Nick and that bloody barrister of his. Can't send him to the leeches - they wouldn't have him. I am officially disgusted with this court proceeding. Pffffftttt. :-(
Excellent chapter!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Lol, do you know what my surname is! Actually (said with a profound English accent) I am having to write a chapter before this to make sure it is all legally correct because at the moment it's way off beam. But for the moment it's just fiction thank God! Love it, my friend. I think I'm going to leave at least 10 of your reviews unanswered so that I have a reason to keep in touch. So glad your earning at last! Alexis x
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Oh crud, I'd be sending them to your relatives. :-) Well, YOU created him!!! So it's sort of fitting. :-)
Comment from Asyraf N. Jamsari
Good job. I would like to hear more from you. Nicely done. Good luck with your days
A lot of efforts and emotions inserted. Good vocabulary and i adore the way you write. Magnificently written
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Good job. I would like to hear more from you. Nicely done. Good luck with your days
A lot of efforts and emotions inserted. Good vocabulary and i adore the way you write. Magnificently written
Comment Written 17-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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I am delighted that you enjoyed it. Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
WOW! You really know how to write a court scene which, in my opinion, is hard. Great job!! I was impressed and outraged! Such great writing. Everyime I think I know where the story is going it takes a sharp turn! Great work! I'm soo hooked!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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WOW! You really know how to write a court scene which, in my opinion, is hard. Great job!! I was impressed and outraged! Such great writing. Everyime I think I know where the story is going it takes a sharp turn! Great work! I'm soo hooked!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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Sadly, as it turns out, I don't, but I shall make sure it's up for scrutiny by the legal eagles before it goes to the publisher! Thank you for your encouraging and understanding review. Alexis x
Comment from c_lucas
Justice is a whore and goes to the highest bidder. This is not the first time the guilty went free due to his checkbook. It is very well written.
Error
that the child was not that of my clients (client)
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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Justice is a whore and goes to the highest bidder. This is not the first time the guilty went free due to his checkbook. It is very well written.
Error
that the child was not that of my clients (client)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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And sadly, it wont be the last. Thank you, Charlie, for your lovely review. Alexis x
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You're welcome, Alexis. Charlie
Comment from angel123
In your eighth paragraph counting from the end of your story up, in the first line you refer to Miss Collins, as Miss Turner, you should make that correction. I have no more suggestions for any changes.
Your story is interesting and I enjoyed reading it. Nick is a modern day JR (From Dallas) that is what makes your story interesting and the fact that he is rich and can buy himself out of trouble.
Your artwork choice is excellent. I hope to follow your well written story.
Angel123
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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In your eighth paragraph counting from the end of your story up, in the first line you refer to Miss Collins, as Miss Turner, you should make that correction. I have no more suggestions for any changes.
Your story is interesting and I enjoyed reading it. Nick is a modern day JR (From Dallas) that is what makes your story interesting and the fact that he is rich and can buy himself out of trouble.
Your artwork choice is excellent. I hope to follow your well written story.
Angel123
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much for both your review and your eagle eye. I've never thought about the JR similarities before, but yes, you're right, he is very like him, although much better looking! He's used to women falling at his feet, so Lisa represents the unattainable because she's not impressed by his money. Ah, the joys of writing! Alexis x
Comment from ArtisALivalor
As I have already rated others works of yours my interest is still captured. I enjoy this piece as I have enjoyed the other. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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As I have already rated others works of yours my interest is still captured. I enjoy this piece as I have enjoyed the other. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much, your review is really appreciated. I see you have joined recently, welcome! Alexis x
Comment from Anthony Crosbie
I am going to need to go back to the beginning and read these in the order they were written! I really like your writing style and hope that with hard work I can come close to your standard. Twists and turns - am emotional roller coaster!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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I am going to need to go back to the beginning and read these in the order they were written! I really like your writing style and hope that with hard work I can come close to your standard. Twists and turns - am emotional roller coaster!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much. You review means a lot, especially as you have joined the story close to the end, and have still found pleasure in it. I would be absolutely delighted if you wanted to read more! Alexis x
Comment from MumEsGirl
Sorry Alexis, great story well told. but not even remotely true to life.
For a start rape cases do not come to trial this quickly. IN fact most of them dont ever make it. Somebody in Lisa's position would never have made it to court.
I am sharing this from my own experience. She was in his room, she was sexually active and in fact pregnant. No lawyer worth his fee would allow the case to proceed.
An out of court settlement would be the only option.
Hope this doesnt offend
kate
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Sorry Alexis, great story well told. but not even remotely true to life.
For a start rape cases do not come to trial this quickly. IN fact most of them dont ever make it. Somebody in Lisa's position would never have made it to court.
I am sharing this from my own experience. She was in his room, she was sexually active and in fact pregnant. No lawyer worth his fee would allow the case to proceed.
An out of court settlement would be the only option.
Hope this doesnt offend
kate
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Absolutely no offence taken, Kate. Any writer trying to write a court scene is playing with fire because anybody who knows the legal system could probably rip it to shreds. The only thing I would say is that this is a criminal prosecution, not a civil one, based on very strong medical evidence 12 hours after the rape, and Lisa's testimony. The trial is 10 months after the event (Lisa has been back at school during that time.) Living in Scotland, I've had to take advice from a Barrister in England, because the legal systems are different, but there are still a lot of issues to be addressed before it goes to the publisher. I really appreciate your opinion on this, and, as always, thank you for your review. Alexis x
Comment from Eternal Muse
This was very, very good. You start with a strong dialogue which holds a reader spellbound until the end. This poor innocent girl WAS telling the truth, but the facts and unfortunate circumstances all conspired against her; plus her abuser had the money to buy the best lawyer - and she lost. I take it, Nick would go for revernge and wouldn't rest until he destroys her. A rape charge is a ghost following a person throughout his lifetime, no matter what the outcome. Reminds me of a soap opera. Now I wonder - what happens next? Did you have this published? You should - this is a perfect material for a published novel. You use all the tools to make it a delightful story, which would stay with the reader. Your characters, especially that of Lisa, are very well developed and convincing. The picture you chose of the woman in red is breathtaking.
I very much enjoyed it, and would like to read more of your work.
Love, Y.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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This was very, very good. You start with a strong dialogue which holds a reader spellbound until the end. This poor innocent girl WAS telling the truth, but the facts and unfortunate circumstances all conspired against her; plus her abuser had the money to buy the best lawyer - and she lost. I take it, Nick would go for revernge and wouldn't rest until he destroys her. A rape charge is a ghost following a person throughout his lifetime, no matter what the outcome. Reminds me of a soap opera. Now I wonder - what happens next? Did you have this published? You should - this is a perfect material for a published novel. You use all the tools to make it a delightful story, which would stay with the reader. Your characters, especially that of Lisa, are very well developed and convincing. The picture you chose of the woman in red is breathtaking.
I very much enjoyed it, and would like to read more of your work.
Love, Y.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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I am blown away by your wonderful review and very generous six. Thank you so much! I have arranged to drop the completed manuscript into a publisher here in Scotland next week, which I only wanted to do after I had finished posting the book on Fanstory because I have so many wonderful people reviewing and giving me excellent advice. Only 3/4 chapters to go, which I will probably be posting from Friday onwards. My thanks again, your review is truly appreciated. Alexis x
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I think, your book will do very well. You live in Scotland? I've written a few poems about your Mary Stewart. What a beautiful country you live in! I always wanted to visit Scotland.
Comment from G.B. Smith
OK Alexis
Now you've totally pissed me off. Nick gets off Scott free because of his shyster lawyer, Alan seems to be outta sight, Lisa is torn apart on the stand and Nick loves it and I want his nuts in a grinder
Bear
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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OK Alexis
Now you've totally pissed me off. Nick gets off Scott free because of his shyster lawyer, Alan seems to be outta sight, Lisa is torn apart on the stand and Nick loves it and I want his nuts in a grinder
Bear
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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God, you're funny! Straight to the point, as always. As I said in my previous review, I'll see what I can do but we have a few twists and turns to go I'm afraid! Alexis x