The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "The red dress chapter thirty seven"The story of a teenage girl
12 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
Hmmm, I almost feel sorry for her. His words must have cut pretty deep. Even if she is a silly girl, hurt is hurt.
Big dummy. He didn't have to be so brutal. Missing A Pair is even more immature than she is.
Is ANYONE in this story well adjusted, except for me, the wonderful reader?! ;-)
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
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Hmmm, I almost feel sorry for her. His words must have cut pretty deep. Even if she is a silly girl, hurt is hurt.
Big dummy. He didn't have to be so brutal. Missing A Pair is even more immature than she is.
Is ANYONE in this story well adjusted, except for me, the wonderful reader?! ;-)
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
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Yep, I had to make it hurt to make the story work! Your probably right, I think it's the writers dysfunctional family that's causing the problem here! Sigh. Running out of reviews! Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
Well, talk about lack of communication. If their love was ever true, each of them should have had more confidence in the other. Alan really went overboard with his little speech. I still feel for Nick; he's the one that is going to end up hurt in the end. Another good chapter; thanks for sharing, I'm still reading.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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Well, talk about lack of communication. If their love was ever true, each of them should have had more confidence in the other. Alan really went overboard with his little speech. I still feel for Nick; he's the one that is going to end up hurt in the end. Another good chapter; thanks for sharing, I'm still reading.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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Well he had to convince her, I suppose. At least it freed her up to go to the Isle of Man (Gulp!) Thank you fun your great review. Alexis x
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alexlis, you did a great job writing this chapter where alan and lisa hurt each other by not telling the truth to each other. i look forward to the next chapter. i hope this is resolved before either one of them gets married
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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this is very well written, alexlis, you did a great job writing this chapter where alan and lisa hurt each other by not telling the truth to each other. i look forward to the next chapter. i hope this is resolved before either one of them gets married
Comment Written 10-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much. As you now know, not only is it not resolved, the world is crashing down around Lisa's ears. Alexis x
Comment from peggles
So interesting and engaging a bit sad in the telling
but never depressing in the way that makes me want to stop reading
It is sensual and so realistic
I found your characters, described through the eyes of this young person to be colorful and believable
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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So interesting and engaging a bit sad in the telling
but never depressing in the way that makes me want to stop reading
It is sensual and so realistic
I found your characters, described through the eyes of this young person to be colorful and believable
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much, Peggles. As you know so well, trying to get the balance right, and still hold the readers interest, can be hard work. Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
surely Alan doesn't mean
what he said... I thought
he loved her. How heart-
breaking... used and dumped.
Well penned, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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surely Alan doesn't mean
what he said... I thought
he loved her. How heart-
breaking... used and dumped.
Well penned, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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If he didn't love her so much, he would never have done it, I'm sure. Thank you so much, Margaret. Your review is really appreciated. Alexis x
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Every half an hour or so[,]
she would find some excuse to pop her head around the door and check up on him. He heard her familiar footsteps on the landing,
When Alan had sent Lisa the card, he had been so full of bitterness. --- "so full of bitterness that ... " or drop "so" and change itinto another word.
The worst part of it was[no comma instead of "that"] Alan knew she hadn't loved Nick at all.
From that moment on[,] there would only be one man in her life, and that would be Nick...
If only he'd yelled at her for being so callous as to run to another man while he was lying near death.
Roberta
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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Every half an hour or so[,]
she would find some excuse to pop her head around the door and check up on him. He heard her familiar footsteps on the landing,
When Alan had sent Lisa the card, he had been so full of bitterness. --- "so full of bitterness that ... " or drop "so" and change itinto another word.
The worst part of it was[no comma instead of "that"] Alan knew she hadn't loved Nick at all.
From that moment on[,] there would only be one man in her life, and that would be Nick...
If only he'd yelled at her for being so callous as to run to another man while he was lying near death.
Roberta
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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I couldn't let that happen, Roberta. They might have got back together and shortened my book! Thank you my friend, not only for your review, but your wonderful help. Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
whoa!! Girl, that is such a twist. I LOVE it ( hate it) :-).
Wow, I'm still reeling from Alan's words as well. They say good writing is when your reader can identify and get into the book. I really identify with Lisa and when i read these things I feel like they're happening to me. Great writing!
I was raving about your book to my best friend tonight! :-) I have her interested now!! :-)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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whoa!! Girl, that is such a twist. I LOVE it ( hate it) :-).
Wow, I'm still reeling from Alan's words as well. They say good writing is when your reader can identify and get into the book. I really identify with Lisa and when i read these things I feel like they're happening to me. Great writing!
I was raving about your book to my best friend tonight! :-) I have her interested now!! :-)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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What a compliment! When I started posting this book I thought it might be of some interest, but I've been blown away by everyone's wonderful encouragement, yourself included. As soon as I've posted the last chapter I am going to actively push to find a publisher, so fingers crossed. Alexis x
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You so should and fingers, toes and legs crossed. LOL :-) Yes , PLEASE let me know when it is I would love to have a signed copy!!
Comment from axelbeariter
Her heart was pounding/Her heart pounded----mobile started ringing/mobile rang----Lisa was still clutching/Lisa still clutched----Another great cliff hanger. Remember though, use an active voice, not a passive one.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Her heart was pounding/Her heart pounded----mobile started ringing/mobile rang----Lisa was still clutching/Lisa still clutched----Another great cliff hanger. Remember though, use an active voice, not a passive one.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Another great lesson, Axel. Bit by bit I'm getting there, thanks to all this wonderful help. Thank you. Alexis x
Comment from MumEsGirl
Isnt spite a wonderful thing. Alan, despite his tenuous state of health, manages to be a total prat.
I dont like him, dont think I ever trusted him either lol
See you got me hooked, starting to believe it all.
Great work
kate
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Isnt spite a wonderful thing. Alan, despite his tenuous state of health, manages to be a total prat.
I dont like him, dont think I ever trusted him either lol
See you got me hooked, starting to believe it all.
Great work
kate
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Oh, don't be so hard on him! He's ten years younger than Nick, and has way too much testosterone zipping around his body! Thank you so much for your great review and encouragement. I am actually beginning to believe I could be a writer! Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hey alexis,
Well, ain't that interesting. I guess that's the best thing at the moment for both of them. Damn, life's a bitch, ain't it? lol
Found spag, but not a lot:
She just hopped(hoped) he didn't start another one.
Alan's self(-)imposed isolation was worrying her and his father to death,(;) so much
suggested she rang(ring) him back
"Yes(,) I'm fine - thanks for asking.
Fix it!! The story's going great. I look forward to the next chapter!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Hey alexis,
Well, ain't that interesting. I guess that's the best thing at the moment for both of them. Damn, life's a bitch, ain't it? lol
Found spag, but not a lot:
She just hopped(hoped) he didn't start another one.
Alan's self(-)imposed isolation was worrying her and his father to death,(;) so much
suggested she rang(ring) him back
"Yes(,) I'm fine - thanks for asking.
Fix it!! The story's going great. I look forward to the next chapter!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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All sorted, boss, thank you for trusting me! Alexis x