The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "The Red Dress chapter thirty four"The story of a teenage girl
14 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
I wish I knew if you were familiar with two of our t.v. show: 'Suburgatory' and 'Up All Night'. The girl who plays Tess in Suburgatory and the man who plays the husband in Up All Night.Those are the faces I see as Lisa and Nick. It brings the story to life for me. I don't believe he's being generous. He's outfitting his most important posession for maximum Wow effect back at the island. So HE can look successful and be envied. She's too naive to see it. A mature man would want a contemporary for a companion, not a beautiful child. I'm on to Freak Boy. He''s still a smarmy git with a fat wallet.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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I wish I knew if you were familiar with two of our t.v. show: 'Suburgatory' and 'Up All Night'. The girl who plays Tess in Suburgatory and the man who plays the husband in Up All Night.Those are the faces I see as Lisa and Nick. It brings the story to life for me. I don't believe he's being generous. He's outfitting his most important posession for maximum Wow effect back at the island. So HE can look successful and be envied. She's too naive to see it. A mature man would want a contemporary for a companion, not a beautiful child. I'm on to Freak Boy. He''s still a smarmy git with a fat wallet.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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I'm not I'm afraid, but will google after I've finished posting the book. Another great review! Thank you. Alexis x
Comment from G.B. Smith
OK Alexis
Here we go some more. So we have Lisa & Nick, Alan verses Nick for Lisa, and who knows what. I got a feeling it is going to get pretty hot and soon
Bear
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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OK Alexis
Here we go some more. So we have Lisa & Nick, Alan verses Nick for Lisa, and who knows what. I got a feeling it is going to get pretty hot and soon
Bear
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Well hold onto your hat, Bear because it's going to get seriously hot in a few chapters time! Thank you so much for reviewing. Alexis x
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
When Lisa woke up the next morning[,]
she took a few seconds to get her bearings.
How could she tell this wonderful
man who loved her so much, that her heart still belonged to someone else? -- If "who loved her so much" is parenthetical, then it needs a comma before and after. If it is not, then no comma on either side. Your choice.
The plans he'd made with Lisa's school friends after they misguidedly told him Lisa was still in love with him[]
had given him a purpose which had made him focus on only one thing[ - ]getting her back.
It wasn't until he phoned me back to tell me you had decided to go to the school["that" - no comma] I thought there might be a chance you didn't love him back.
Only after Amy had called him[]
had he dared to look at it again.
I guess I forgot. didn't Nick give her a ring the first time, or was he going to giveitto her when she went tot he Isle fo Mann?
Nick noticed her expression change and thought that the memory of her last planned journey to the Island must be as painful to her[]
as it was to him.
She thought for a moment before she answered. She tried to push the memory of her mother attacking her[]
to the back of her mind.
The purpose of a comma is to show you where to take a breath if you're reading it aloud. I'm putting the line break in to show that, when the comma is removed, neither clause can stand alone. Where a comma needs to be inserted,I'm using the line break to show what kind of sense the two parts of the sentence make.
Every time[,] he [told] her how wonderful she looked in whatever it was[,] [and then]he []hand[ed] the assistant his credit card.
Like the character Julia Roberts played[,] Lisa was blown away by the attention she received
After an hour[,] she felt embarrassed at how much he was spending[] and tried to make him stop.
"When you come to the Island[,]
I want to show you off to everyone. You'll need a wardrobe to match that engagement ring." --- This reminds me of when we were on Okinawa. On practically every corner in Korea, you could buy real gems for practically nothing. then you'd have to have jewelry made to use them. My husband and I were talking about putting together some money and giving it to one of the guys who was going to Korea on TDY, and I said to him, "If we buy the stones, then we have to have the jewelry made; then we have to buy the clothes to go with the jewelry; then we have to buy the car to go with the clothes; and then we have to buy the house to go with the car." We didn't buy any stones!
Roberta
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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When Lisa woke up the next morning[,]
she took a few seconds to get her bearings.
How could she tell this wonderful
man who loved her so much, that her heart still belonged to someone else? -- If "who loved her so much" is parenthetical, then it needs a comma before and after. If it is not, then no comma on either side. Your choice.
The plans he'd made with Lisa's school friends after they misguidedly told him Lisa was still in love with him[]
had given him a purpose which had made him focus on only one thing[ - ]getting her back.
It wasn't until he phoned me back to tell me you had decided to go to the school["that" - no comma] I thought there might be a chance you didn't love him back.
Only after Amy had called him[]
had he dared to look at it again.
I guess I forgot. didn't Nick give her a ring the first time, or was he going to giveitto her when she went tot he Isle fo Mann?
Nick noticed her expression change and thought that the memory of her last planned journey to the Island must be as painful to her[]
as it was to him.
She thought for a moment before she answered. She tried to push the memory of her mother attacking her[]
to the back of her mind.
The purpose of a comma is to show you where to take a breath if you're reading it aloud. I'm putting the line break in to show that, when the comma is removed, neither clause can stand alone. Where a comma needs to be inserted,I'm using the line break to show what kind of sense the two parts of the sentence make.
Every time[,] he [told] her how wonderful she looked in whatever it was[,] [and then]he []hand[ed] the assistant his credit card.
Like the character Julia Roberts played[,] Lisa was blown away by the attention she received
After an hour[,] she felt embarrassed at how much he was spending[] and tried to make him stop.
"When you come to the Island[,]
I want to show you off to everyone. You'll need a wardrobe to match that engagement ring." --- This reminds me of when we were on Okinawa. On practically every corner in Korea, you could buy real gems for practically nothing. then you'd have to have jewelry made to use them. My husband and I were talking about putting together some money and giving it to one of the guys who was going to Korea on TDY, and I said to him, "If we buy the stones, then we have to have the jewelry made; then we have to buy the clothes to go with the jewelry; then we have to buy the car to go with the clothes; and then we have to buy the house to go with the car." We didn't buy any stones!
Roberta
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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Just as well! I know what you mean. I bought a new coat before christmas, which them meant I needed a hat to go with it, then gloves, then boots, then a new sweater. By the time I'd finished, I wished I'd never seen the damned thing, and so did my very depleted bank balance! Thank you so much for this really helpful review, Roberta. Alexis x
Comment from Hareem.S
Alomost every girl wants a guy like Nick, who can treat her like a princess. I like this love triangle, choosing between a rich and a less well off guy. Enjoyed reading this chapter.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Alomost every girl wants a guy like Nick, who can treat her like a princess. I like this love triangle, choosing between a rich and a less well off guy. Enjoyed reading this chapter.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much. I'm so glad that you have read some more. It is about to get pretty interesting on the love front so I hope you get the chance to read more. Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Most girls would open
their arms wide to all
these gifts of clothes
Nick is showering upon
Lisa... but then she's
no ordinary girl, she's
someone caring and very
special.
So well presented, Alexis.
Margaret
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Most girls would open
their arms wide to all
these gifts of clothes
Nick is showering upon
Lisa... but then she's
no ordinary girl, she's
someone caring and very
special.
So well presented, Alexis.
Margaret
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much, Margaret. At least you remember the name of my heroine! I call it a 'craft' moment. (can't remember a .......thing)I tried to edit two chapters today before posting and I'm now officially brain dead like Alan, or is it Lawrence? Lol Alexis x
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Excellent work as always. I love what you have done in this chapter and in fact you have created a very powerful bridge from Alan to Nick.....fantastic.
Couple of things to think on below. Otherwise I'm loving all you did in this chapter. Great job my friend.
Love
Maureen
x
"Since then it had lain in the safe, trapped in its metal tomb." // Loved the imagery here, fantastic.
"Nick knew what he wanted to do, but he wasn't going to make the same mistake as before. (He was going to have to learn to be patient.) He knew if they stayed " // This section in brackets is repetitive, you said it before a few lines before.x
""Too right... if that's what I have to do to make ..." // note that "Too right" I understand the expression, but this side of the pond won't.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Excellent work as always. I love what you have done in this chapter and in fact you have created a very powerful bridge from Alan to Nick.....fantastic.
Couple of things to think on below. Otherwise I'm loving all you did in this chapter. Great job my friend.
Love
Maureen
x
"Since then it had lain in the safe, trapped in its metal tomb." // Loved the imagery here, fantastic.
"Nick knew what he wanted to do, but he wasn't going to make the same mistake as before. (He was going to have to learn to be patient.) He knew if they stayed " // This section in brackets is repetitive, you said it before a few lines before.x
""Too right... if that's what I have to do to make ..." // note that "Too right" I understand the expression, but this side of the pond won't.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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How about Absolutely? Seems to work okay, and should be understood by both sides of the pond. My thanks for your lovely review my friend. Alexis x
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yup, absolutely works perfectly!
Big Hugs
Maureen xx
Comment from rwilliam
Wonderful chapter!! I really enjoyed this one!
You did a great job ! This is getting good. I'm having a hard time hating Nick. :-)
I look forward to reading more soon. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Wonderful chapter!! I really enjoyed this one!
You did a great job ! This is getting good. I'm having a hard time hating Nick. :-)
I look forward to reading more soon. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Your enthusiasm is so appreciated! Yeh, I thought I'd lull everyone into a false sense of security with a certain person. Makes what's coming up much more entertaining! My thanks as always. Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hi alexis,
You did good! I'm glad they didn't have sex. Nick did show he loves her a great deal. I liked it!
OMG, no spag! Crap, I'll probably have to give you a 6 for this one! lol
Seriously, very good.
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Hi alexis,
You did good! I'm glad they didn't have sex. Nick did show he loves her a great deal. I liked it!
OMG, no spag! Crap, I'll probably have to give you a 6 for this one! lol
Seriously, very good.
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much, Boss! I owe it all to you of course, for being so tough on me! Just wait, the next chapter will probably be awash with mistakes. Never mind, you're only as good as your last review... Alexis x
Comment from LisaSilva
She's getting in deeper. Each time she accepts a gift, each time one of those girls gets excited for her, she buries herself in obligation. How will she feel and what will she do? That's the question. Thanks for the great read, Alexis;) Love, Lisa
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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She's getting in deeper. Each time she accepts a gift, each time one of those girls gets excited for her, she buries herself in obligation. How will she feel and what will she do? That's the question. Thanks for the great read, Alexis;) Love, Lisa
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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You are, as usual, spot on. She is getting herself into a situation that will be very difficult to get out of. Lots coming up that I'm sure you will enjoy. Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
Another good chapter; I'm glad you didn't have Lisa sleep with Nick, yet. I know all is still hanging around in her mind; so are the photo taken of her at the studio. I'm sure those are going to come back to haunt her just as she and Nick get closer. Thanks for this chapter; keep writing, I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Another good chapter; I'm glad you didn't have Lisa sleep with Nick, yet. I know all is still hanging around in her mind; so are the photo taken of her at the studio. I'm sure those are going to come back to haunt her just as she and Nick get closer. Thanks for this chapter; keep writing, I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Yes, I'm glad to say that the consensus of opinion was that she didn't Phew!Made the chapter much easier to edit! Thank you for your continued reviews and support. Alexis x