Reviews from

Unstoppable

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Weary"
I am sick and tired of everyone bullying.

4 total reviews 
Comment from Starlit Nights
Excellent
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This is a beautiful Leicester of work. It's so hard to not run from the scary things sometimes. My only problem is that I thought that "yelling on top their lungs like they matter, " was a little wierdly worded.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    corrections made thank you.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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I am tired and oh so wary - do you mean weary?
Leave me to my own lonesome - my own loneliness or lonesomeness?
I almost forgot to breath - to breathe
A most intriguing poem
as I imagine who "they" are
effective expression of emotion Brooke

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2012

reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
    fixed it thanks for poiting that out to
Comment from Dklrdmcches
Good
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This piece seems a little ratteled. The flow was not very smooth and I believe you meant THEIR instead of There when you mention the line - There lungs like they matter. A few alterations and the piece will be strong...dark lord

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2012

reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
    Thanks for the advice and I am rattled just nearly got killed by some stupied kids
    From keimosobie's daughter SMSAE
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
    would you like to play a friendly writting contest maybe only if you want to I didn't send it yet don't want the dark lord mad
reply by Dklrdmcches on 23-Jan-2012
    Sounds interesting, I will give it a try...dark lord
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
    Okay so when do you wan't to set it up
reply by Dklrdmcches on 23-Jan-2012
    Anytime, seems interesting, would like to try it...dark lord
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
    When would you like to start?
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
    Okay
Comment from ScarletClearwater
Excellent
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there eyes, should be "their" eyes. Great job with the dark imagery in this piece. It was a bit scary. I would have run too. Nice work.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2012

reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
    Thanks I fixed it
reply by ScarletClearwater on 23-Jan-2012
    np