Comment from AlvinTEthington

Excellent

This is good social commentary, a use for which senryu is often employed. The irony is telling. I, too, worry about the exposure to violence that children have. Sometimes I wonder if computer games blur the distinction between fantasy and reality. A very good senryu.

 Comment Written 28-May-2011

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reply by the author on 28-May-2011

Thanks so much! I really value your opinion on this - being the master of the form that you are. Thanks for for stopping by and offering your generous support.

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

I share your concern about the violent computer games. This is most dramatically and colorfully presented. [I wonder if a more effective title might be "senryu (online warriors)"?] Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 27-May-2011

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reply by the author on 28-May-2011

Thanks, Jeanie. I have changed the title. I think, like you, it's better. Thanks so much for your support and generosity! Warm regards

Comment from Fiona Hymn

Excellent

The meaning is very clear in this Senryu. The effects of video games on our children is a concern. You have used the Senryu to creative express this idea. Nicely written. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-May-2011

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reply by the author on 28-May-2011

Thank you Fiona Hymm. I really appreciate your generous review and good luck wishes.