Reflections For The New Day
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Canvas of Dreams"10 total reviews
Comment from made2soar
mmm, I am there. Do you have a hammock? :o) Beautiful picture and beautiful poem. What a great place to escape for all the stress of the world.
Thanks,
Jim
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mmm, I am there. Do you have a hammock? :o) Beautiful picture and beautiful poem. What a great place to escape for all the stress of the world.
Thanks,
Jim
Comment Written 14-Dec-2004
Comment from El Romantico
Your talent is beyond me. I don't think that I could ever imagine such work. You make it seem so easy to put your heart into every piece of work. I would love to join you in the land where there is no more strife or confusion. I know now that I have something to look forward to and a new way of writing.
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Your talent is beyond me. I don't think that I could ever imagine such work. You make it seem so easy to put your heart into every piece of work. I would love to join you in the land where there is no more strife or confusion. I know now that I have something to look forward to and a new way of writing.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2004
Comment from jnightstar
Jewell,
Great picture and poem love them both. A few places in the poem when I read it aloud seem to want to hang but the thought emotion and feeling are well presented this is a excellent job. As for the picture I think you have very real talent there as well. never let anyoen tell you otherwise.
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Jewell,
Great picture and poem love them both. A few places in the poem when I read it aloud seem to want to hang but the thought emotion and feeling are well presented this is a excellent job. As for the picture I think you have very real talent there as well. never let anyoen tell you otherwise.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2004
Comment from Lainee
Jewell this a beautiful and serene poem that is so well highlighted by both your word imagery and your artwork. I loved every moment of the read.
Two little hiccups throughout are the use of capital letters to start each line is unnecessary when freestyle writing.
The repetitive use of the word "there" stands out to me.
I will enter there once again
as my paintbrush transports me there
A beautiful and dreamy poem.
Goodluck with this,
Lainee :)
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Jewell this a beautiful and serene poem that is so well highlighted by both your word imagery and your artwork. I loved every moment of the read.
Two little hiccups throughout are the use of capital letters to start each line is unnecessary when freestyle writing.
The repetitive use of the word "there" stands out to me.
I will enter there once again
as my paintbrush transports me there
A beautiful and dreamy poem.
Goodluck with this,
Lainee :)
Comment Written 20-Nov-2004
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
You are so very talented. That painting is just gorgeous. I really love the feel of this one. Of course anything that consists of dreaming grabs my attention. There is one little line that really nags at me
Where crickets chirp
And water falls fall.
That water falls fall is a little awkward. I would think about water falls cascade, or something similar to that. Lovely job, as always.
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You are so very talented. That painting is just gorgeous. I really love the feel of this one. Of course anything that consists of dreaming grabs my attention. There is one little line that really nags at me
Where crickets chirp
And water falls fall.
That water falls fall is a little awkward. I would think about water falls cascade, or something similar to that. Lovely job, as always.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2004
Comment from skywalkz7
I would like to join you,this is a great poem, the drawing is nice,it helps you tell a story about a very wonderful place. You knew where you were going with this, the minute you started writing this. This is my review.
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I would like to join you,this is a great poem, the drawing is nice,it helps you tell a story about a very wonderful place. You knew where you were going with this, the minute you started writing this. This is my review.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2004
Comment from Shari_K
I would love to go on a canvas of dreams journey ;) This is a beautiful poem with very expressive, imaginative words that paint a lovely picture of an enchanted, peaceful, colorful place. Your words flowed smoothly with perfect rhythm. Your painting is beautiful as well, you're a very talented person! Excellent painting and poem!
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I would love to go on a canvas of dreams journey ;) This is a beautiful poem with very expressive, imaginative words that paint a lovely picture of an enchanted, peaceful, colorful place. Your words flowed smoothly with perfect rhythm. Your painting is beautiful as well, you're a very talented person! Excellent painting and poem!
Comment Written 20-Nov-2004
Comment from Vennan
Who could resist such an invitation? Clearly, you have a variety of talents. Thank you for sharing your visual art with us, as well as your poem.
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You wrote: And water falls fall.
This reads almost like a stutter, jarring the reader out of the spell you're creating. I would suggest either:
And waters fall.
or
And water falls.
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You wrote:
Moments in time
Stand but still.
The 'but' seems intrusive and I can make no sense of it grammatically. What did you intend it to accomplish? I would suggest simply:
Moments in time
Stand still.
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You wrote:
God's creation shines
All around bringing
A sweet fragrance
To promote clarity and flow, I suggest:
God's creation shines
All around, bringing
A sweet fragrance
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You wrote:
I will enter there once again
as my paint brush
transports me there
The double use of 'there' in these lines seemed jarring. Perhaps you would consider:
I will enter one again
as my paint brush
transports me there
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You wrote:
in the wonderment
of it's beauty.
You need:
in the wonderment
of its beauty.
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All the best,
Vennan
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Who could resist such an invitation? Clearly, you have a variety of talents. Thank you for sharing your visual art with us, as well as your poem.
----------
You wrote: And water falls fall.
This reads almost like a stutter, jarring the reader out of the spell you're creating. I would suggest either:
And waters fall.
or
And water falls.
-------------
You wrote:
Moments in time
Stand but still.
The 'but' seems intrusive and I can make no sense of it grammatically. What did you intend it to accomplish? I would suggest simply:
Moments in time
Stand still.
-------------
You wrote:
God's creation shines
All around bringing
A sweet fragrance
To promote clarity and flow, I suggest:
God's creation shines
All around, bringing
A sweet fragrance
-----------
You wrote:
I will enter there once again
as my paint brush
transports me there
The double use of 'there' in these lines seemed jarring. Perhaps you would consider:
I will enter one again
as my paint brush
transports me there
-------------
You wrote:
in the wonderment
of it's beauty.
You need:
in the wonderment
of its beauty.
-------------
All the best,
Vennan
Comment Written 20-Nov-2004
Comment from danielg29
I'd love to join you. Not quite sure if they'd let me in. Is there an emotional dress code? Cuz that sounds like a pretty happy place. Great use of imagery. I loved you vivid descriptions. Favorite lines:
melodious music.
Water falls fall.
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I'd love to join you. Not quite sure if they'd let me in. Is there an emotional dress code? Cuz that sounds like a pretty happy place. Great use of imagery. I loved you vivid descriptions. Favorite lines:
melodious music.
Water falls fall.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2004
Comment from Wm B. Naylor
Ah the joys of the brush. Succintly described transporting both the painter and the viewer to another, quieter world. Is the original graisaille? Just wondered. Doesn't really matter, does it, since the subject of the poem is really not the painting but the painter.
Thanks for sharing
Will
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Ah the joys of the brush. Succintly described transporting both the painter and the viewer to another, quieter world. Is the original graisaille? Just wondered. Doesn't really matter, does it, since the subject of the poem is really not the painting but the painter.
Thanks for sharing
Will
Comment Written 20-Nov-2004
