Reviews from

Steve's Story-Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Brief History of the Old Testament"
A collection of my poems

90 total reviews 
Comment from Cornelius2000
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That's quite a spectacular "short history" of the Old Testament that you've managed to put into verse, mostly rhymed. Nice job!

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2013
    Thank you!

    I still haven't been brave enough to tackle the New Testament.

    Steve
Comment from jgirlie152
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You have done an excellent job in poetic fashion on the stories in the old testament. Though some seem far from religious, you have told it right in your digested version.
I did enjoy reading this very much, could not find anything that shouldn't be there. You are awarded 6 bright stars.
Best regards, Joan

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2013
    Joan, thanks a lot for the kind words and the lovely stars.

    Steve
Comment from Jacq77
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is worth every one of the six stars! Your clever use of words and rhyme were a pleasure to read, and gave a brilliant synopsis of the Old Testament. I enjoyed reading this very much, and look forward to the New Testament version. Superbly written, and keep writing!

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
    Thank you, Jacq - glad you enjoyed.

    I never did get onto the new Testament - one day perhaps.

    Steve
Comment from goompa
Excellent
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No offense at all, only admiration for this brilliant piece of work. I can't wait to read the sequel. The Greatest Story Ever Told expressed in verse. qhat a job!!

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
    Thank you. Actually, I never got round to doing the New Testament - it presents different challenges....

    Steve
Comment from MissMerri
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was well worth reviving. I loved it! It is amazing that you could capture all the many stories of the Old Testament in these twenty-four well-written stanzas, almost perfect meter and rhyme and lots of humor as well. I loved it and think it really could be published. Have you already written the New Testament synopsis? If so, I want to read that too. This was amazing. I feel like this is one of those timeless poems that will be read by generations to come. It is really well-done and super fun.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
    MM, thanks for the very warm review and all the stars. This is just one of many things sitting in my portfolio that I really have no idea what to do with....

    No, I never did tackle the new testament - the more I thought about it, the more difficult it seemed - it doesn't have the kind of historical progression of the OT and there are just so many stories and different directions - perhaps if I just focused on the stories?

    Steve
reply by MissMerri on 04-Dec-2013
    I thought about that too... the huge difference as far as historical progression. It could be a much shorter poem perhaps, with fewer characters. But I'm sure you could do it. As for what to do with this one... please look in Writer's Market and find a magazine that publishes this sort of thing and send it off. You could very well be paid for such talent. Good luck. MM
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Hah, this was great, Steve! From Genesis and Exodus, all the way through the books of Zechariah and Malachi, you ran the gamut of the books of the Old Testament and highlighted, in excellent poetic fashion, I might add, some of the key players and stories therein.

Very nice!

I especially liked the lines about Jonah, now THAT was funny, my friend!

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
    Thanks, Dean.

    I am not particularly religious, but there are certainly some wonderful stories there and it appealed to my sense of humour to try and sum them up in silly verse.

    Steve
Comment from Louise Michelle
Excellent
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Wow, this is a fun way to refresh one's memory about bible stories. Your rhymes and terrific, nothing forced, and the meter is nice and bouncy. An over all enjoyable read. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
    Thanks, Lou.

    Steve
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Excellent
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Very very clever. I doubt anyone anywhere has managed to sum up the Old Testament in such a manner. The rhymes are wonderful, and you managed to tell each story with skill considering the ration of words!

Glad I had the chance to read this one, Steve. Thanks for re-posting.

Av

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
    Thanks, Av.

    I am not particularly religious, but there are certainly some wonderful stories there and it appealed to my sense of humour to try and sum them up in silly verse.

    Steve
Comment from Gladness
Excellent
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Very good!You did it! Quite an accomplishment! Wow, the old Testament is a big subject to cover. I found just a couple places you might want to look at again:

The Hebrew families were all spared. (don't need the "all" too many syllables)

Though he was tested more and more,
He still stayed faithful to God's law (this is the only place that does not rhyme.)

I enjoyed the read. Would you mind if I coped it to share at church?

Thanks, Anita


 Comment Written 02-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
    Thanks, Anita - of, course you can share it - no problem at all. I remember several readers asked to use it at Sunday school when I first posted it.

    You may want to put on a kiwi accent though - to my ear, 'more' and 'law' make a pretty good rhyming pair!

    Steve
Comment from Tessa Kay
Excellent
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Nothing to be offended about. God gave us humor and you put this poem together very tastefully. Definitely, the Greatest Story ever told. Only thing I would niggle at is when you say God sent Adam and Eve more troubles to afflict'em. He warned Cain, but he wouldn't listen (James 1:13, Job 34:10)
Hope, you'll do one on the New Testament.
Great job.
Tessa

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
    Thanks, Tessa.

    Yes, I may have taken a few liberties as I struggled to get the story into such a brief verse - I did try to stick as close as I could.

    I never did get round to doing the NT - one day perhaps.

    Steve