Reviews from

Reflections For The New Day

Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Search Your Heart"


21 total reviews 
Comment from kiwigirl2821
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Hi Jewell,

You dance a wicked beauty of a dance with your words in this one. God is a tough subject to get to and make any sense of and yet here you write with determined effort to get your point across poetically...Well done! xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2011
    Thanks kiwi!
Comment from Gungalo
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A broken heart laid open
For all the world to view
Will find your true salvation
A flame will shine in you

I love this verse and the whole write but his verse says things that are totally wonderful. Great take on a broken heart you.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
    I need to fix the meter and will do so later. It's surely killing the meter readers!! Nit thanks for reviewing anyway!
reply by Gungalo on 12-Feb-2011
    LOL. You did say "loose rhyme no meter".
Comment from Laurie Clayton
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This is a beautifully crafted free form poem (I think?) with some exceptionally evocative imagery.

I especially liked;

[But mouths of fools eat folly
Empty words and faithless ways

[A broken heart laid open
For all the world to view ]

Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
    If this weren't free form, it would suck! Lol I need to stick to no rhymes when free versing huh? I will do better, I promise
Comment from joannesnow
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Beautifully written verse. Your words are well thought out. Your rhyme flows nicely to tell a message of the importance of love in our lives. Great message, enjoyable write.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
    Hello. Thanks so much.:)
Comment from BothePo8
Good
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This is a very pretty poem about spirituality. It is clear, focused and well thought out. However, the poem lacks consistency in rhyme ( eye/find, you/truth ) and in rhythm both within stanzas and between stanzas. If you count the syllables in each line you can get the feel of this inconsistency....The first stanza has an 8/6/6/8 syllable count, the second stanza has a 8/6/8/6, the third 7/6/8/6, the fourth 7/6/8/6, the fifth 8/6/7/6, the 6th 7/7/6/6, the 7th 7/6/7/7, the 8th 8/8/8/6, the 9th 8/7/7/7, 10th 7/5/7/6 and the 11th 7/6/7/6..............These differences are not great and generally the poem flows very well but it is my belief that inconsistent rhythm is kind of like driving down a beautiful but bumpy country road. The scenery is wonderful but the bumps are distracting.....I wish you the best...Bo

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 Comment Written 10-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
    To each his own opinion. Did you happen to read my comments ay the top pf the poem? Thank you fpr reading
Comment from poetbear
Excellent
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Love this gem.
Great use of poetic license and devices.
Great imagery and use of metaphor.
It makes sense and touches the rader.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
    Thank you :)
Comment from Diny
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Jj again you bless us!- bEAUTIFUL I must apologize I must have overslept Wed am. Hope you are feeling better -your poetry shows his prais ! I am touched again by your words- Forgive me for not calling and I shall try this next weekend-Mon perhaps(thats my week end)
Write on it is always a happy event to find you-Di

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
    Thanks so much Diny. I am surprised at the response to this.
Comment from amada
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I like this poem on faith. It takes a different perspective to the ones I have read for the contest. I like this lines the most "Out of our hearts spring fountains Of revelations strong ."

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
    Thank you amada. I've not read others yet. Look forward to it though.Curious; how does it differ?
Comment from IanC
Excellent
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So many messages ring throughout your piece. Words of love, understanding, truth and integrity. Every stanza has its own profound message. Well done, Ian

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
    Thank you, Ian ;) God bless
Comment from LC_Cooper
Excellent
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I liked your strong command of this form, but being relatively new to writing poetry, I had a little trouble with the flow and meter at times. What form is it? I counted several different sets of syllables across the stanzas. Is this classified as free verse or is there a specific form? Please excuse my ignorance. I thought you did a very good job conveying the passion and sentiment of your subject. Well done!

With kind regards,
LC Cooper

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2011


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2011
    Free form, some rhyme ....no rules . Thanks