Sins of the Father
Flash Fiction5 total reviews
Comment from Katiesherrill
I like this story and how you show the protectiveness of human nature coming out through the child, the mother, and the teacher. No one likes to be hurt and abuse can have lasting effects. Nicely told.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
  |
I like this story and how you show the protectiveness of human nature coming out through the child, the mother, and the teacher. No one likes to be hurt and abuse can have lasting effects. Nicely told.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Frances Jean
'something happen to yesterday?' = perhaps remove to
'Alice was certain Addie and her teacher would be just fine now.' = Perhaps you could review this last sentence as the tense seems to be wrong. You have written it about the event that occurred the year before but it reads as if it is referring to the current year.
Nice little story. All the best in the competition. Frances
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
 |
'something happen to yesterday?' = perhaps remove to
'Alice was certain Addie and her teacher would be just fine now.' = Perhaps you could review this last sentence as the tense seems to be wrong. You have written it about the event that occurred the year before but it reads as if it is referring to the current year.
Nice little story. All the best in the competition. Frances
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
-
Thanks for noticing the tense issue here. I totally missed it. Your review is appreciated. -Judy
-
You're most welcome
Comment from P1
really strong entry to the eyes
of a child story contest. the pic
suited the essay very nicely and
brought the whole thing together
strong contender and an enjoyable
read
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
|
really strong entry to the eyes
of a child story contest. the pic
suited the essay very nicely and
brought the whole thing together
strong contender and an enjoyable
read
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
-
Thank you for your generous review.
Comment from gramalot8
Mystery Author, thank goodness Alice's mother took a stand and went with her daughter to school. How many times have we ignored the plight of our kids as just being something that will be ok and just go away. Too many times it doesn't. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
|
Mystery Author, thank goodness Alice's mother took a stand and went with her daughter to school. How many times have we ignored the plight of our kids as just being something that will be ok and just go away. Too many times it doesn't. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
-
Thanks for reading and for the wonderful rating.
Comment from adewpearl
In the first paragraph you say the child loved kindergarten and looked forward to first grade and asked eagerly about when it would start - and then there is some implication about the year before and the child is feeling trepidation about first grade - these two paragraphs seem to contradict each other.
An interesting conversation between teacher and pupil's mother. Brooke
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
|
In the first paragraph you say the child loved kindergarten and looked forward to first grade and asked eagerly about when it would start - and then there is some implication about the year before and the child is feeling trepidation about first grade - these two paragraphs seem to contradict each other.
An interesting conversation between teacher and pupil's mother. Brooke
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
-
I tried to clarify that section. Thanks for pointing it out to me.