A Walk In My Shoes
Be careful! What goes around, comes around.21 total reviews
Comment from meb42
This was very interesting and emotional. This is a good reading for our present working class. Job demands causing them to thinking of themselves and their demands. The fall and placing your self as the old man was very creative thinking.. Your descriptions of the characters clothing and the settings were grate. I enjoyed the reading.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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This was very interesting and emotional. This is a good reading for our present working class. Job demands causing them to thinking of themselves and their demands. The fall and placing your self as the old man was very creative thinking.. Your descriptions of the characters clothing and the settings were grate. I enjoyed the reading.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your great review and stars. This means a lot since I wasn't expecting anymore reviews on this.
Thanks again,
Sandollar
Comment from Jnetgame
Well, I'm glad you did make it to the contest, because this is a great entry. It held my interest from start to finish and was very well written. Good luck.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Well, I'm glad you did make it to the contest, because this is a great entry. It held my interest from start to finish and was very well written. Good luck.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you for the wonderful review and stars. I'm happy you enjoyed this. It was a fun write. Thanks for the good wishes for the contest.
Sandollar
Comment from rama devi
This is quite a potent version of supernatural INSTANT KARMA effect. I think you pull it off well, and the story is well written and spag free.
Good solid flow with just the right balance of dialog to contrast the narrative. Good dialog too---true to life.
A strong entry for the contest.
Unique and thought provoking.
Warmly, r d
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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This is quite a potent version of supernatural INSTANT KARMA effect. I think you pull it off well, and the story is well written and spag free.
Good solid flow with just the right balance of dialog to contrast the narrative. Good dialog too---true to life.
A strong entry for the contest.
Unique and thought provoking.
Warmly, r d
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and rating. This means a lot coming from you. I thought I'd try to go a different way with the challenge. i'm very happy to know you enjoyed this.
Thank you also for the good wishes for the contest,
Warmest regards,
Sandollar
Comment from warbler
I enjoyed reading your story. The images that you painted with your words are very compelling. I can image the entire story being played out before my eyes. Well done. I enjoyed the ending.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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I enjoyed reading your story. The images that you painted with your words are very compelling. I can image the entire story being played out before my eyes. Well done. I enjoyed the ending.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thanks for your great review and the stars. I'm very happy you enjoyed this. I thought I'd stretch out a little bit. Thanks for your support.
Sandollar
Comment from btruax
Well, I think it is safe to say that Kira got what she deserved. I know there was probably a word limit, but it would have been nice to carry it a little further. I am impressed with the dialogue. It was very believable. While you didn't have enough time to establish the other three characters, you turned Kira into a real, if not very pleasant, person.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Well, I think it is safe to say that Kira got what she deserved. I know there was probably a word limit, but it would have been nice to carry it a little further. I am impressed with the dialogue. It was very believable. While you didn't have enough time to establish the other three characters, you turned Kira into a real, if not very pleasant, person.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much for the great review and rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the read. There was word constraints but I felt if I fleshed out all the characters, I'd surely go over the limit.
I am thrilled you liked my villain.
Sandollar
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
What goes around does indeed come around! The story is well told even if it does stretch the imagination tothe limit.
Knocking a man down and leaving him to possibly die, is a little too much even for an ambitious executive.
The change of persona is also not explained. Of course she now has to experience all of the things the old homeless man endured, but unless she is able to change back, it will have served no purpose.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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What goes around does indeed come around! The story is well told even if it does stretch the imagination tothe limit.
Knocking a man down and leaving him to possibly die, is a little too much even for an ambitious executive.
The change of persona is also not explained. Of course she now has to experience all of the things the old homeless man endured, but unless she is able to change back, it will have served no purpose.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your great review and stars. I believe that people are capable of anything, but perhaps I am jaded. I live in New York and unfortunately, I hear of such things on the news practically everyday. I agree it does stretch the imagination, but I think the lesson is effective. If she can change back, where is the punishment?
Sandollar
Comment from patmedium
May I say that this particular tale is written in such a way that it just hauls your reader in, dragging me along, willy-nilly to the finishing line? I have read this, helter-skelter. Felt guilty, went back to read it again, more slowly, giving it the proper amount of attention.
On the third time around I can safely say that I find no faults and have NO criticisms.
The images you paint on the blank canvas of my mind's eye are vivid and uncomfortable.
The emotions you have placed in here are strong and almost palpable.
WHAT a stunning read this is! If this doesn't win, I shall be shocked and disappointed.
Pat.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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May I say that this particular tale is written in such a way that it just hauls your reader in, dragging me along, willy-nilly to the finishing line? I have read this, helter-skelter. Felt guilty, went back to read it again, more slowly, giving it the proper amount of attention.
On the third time around I can safely say that I find no faults and have NO criticisms.
The images you paint on the blank canvas of my mind's eye are vivid and uncomfortable.
The emotions you have placed in here are strong and almost palpable.
WHAT a stunning read this is! If this doesn't win, I shall be shocked and disappointed.
Pat.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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I thank you so much for taking the time to read it through three times. It means a lot coming from you as I am familiar with your work. I cannot tell you how happy I am you enjoyed this. Thank you for you good wishes for the contest.
Sandollar
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I am a speed reader... that's how I can review so many. HOWEVER, when I find one which is outstandingly good, I try to slow down for many reasons... there might be typos/a grammer mistake/whatever. If I can help an author with a suggestion, I want to make sure it's a sensible suggestion. I had to read yours 3 times to get straight in my head that it didn't need help! I was so FULL of glee at such a clever tale. Pat.
With THIS one I wanted to keep on galloping and almost swallowing it whole.
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NOW I know why I thought I had missed you, somehow. You're an anon! I went for a search and found my comments on quite a few.
Interestingly, only two lines into the nun's story, I remembered the whole tale... shows how strong a writer you really are!
Comment from Alpha Female
Excellent, I love the instant Karma. Perfect flow and you painted her personality as totally deserving of the fate which befell her. I would love to read more of your work.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Excellent, I love the instant Karma. Perfect flow and you painted her personality as totally deserving of the fate which befell her. I would love to read more of your work.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review and stars. I am a fan of instant Karma and also of there being consequences for actions good or bad. I am pleased to know you would like to read more of my work. Please feel free to look in my portfolio.
Sandollar
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I will look at your portfolio and will be watching for more of your writing.
Comment from minopavlic
Brilliantly put together with the makings of a powerful story on its own merits, which could lead itself in all kinds of directions.
Nice entry.
no_obstacle
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Brilliantly put together with the makings of a powerful story on its own merits, which could lead itself in all kinds of directions.
Nice entry.
no_obstacle
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you for the wonderful review and five star rating. I am so happy you enjoyed the read. It was fun to write.
Sandollar
Comment from wierdgrace
I truly love the way you used the character you did in this story, well done, no errors and no revisions, good luck in this contest, and it has so much emotions with it, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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I truly love the way you used the character you did in this story, well done, no errors and no revisions, good luck in this contest, and it has so much emotions with it, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks for the positive review and five star rating. I had a good time writing it and I'm happy you enjoyed. Thanks also for the good wishes in the contest.
Sandollar