Pipo the Clown
Put on your happy face17 total reviews
Comment from AlvinTEthington
I am glad you added the note about 'Strine, for most people outside Oz don't know what fair dinkum is. This is a fun, sweet poem that made me nostalgic for my childhood. The aabb rhyme scheme lends a lilting tone to the poem, which is perfect for children's literature. It's a very minor concern, but I would omit the comma in the ninth line; it seems to break up the flow of the poem. Great juxtaposition of picture and poem.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
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I am glad you added the note about 'Strine, for most people outside Oz don't know what fair dinkum is. This is a fun, sweet poem that made me nostalgic for my childhood. The aabb rhyme scheme lends a lilting tone to the poem, which is perfect for children's literature. It's a very minor concern, but I would omit the comma in the ninth line; it seems to break up the flow of the poem. Great juxtaposition of picture and poem.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
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Thank you Al, I enjoyed writing this. I'll have a look at that comma, always appreciate your advice.
Warmest regards
Marijke
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You're welcome.
Comment from kintesiegel
This is really a simple and sweet poem (not that it was simple to write). I love the positive message in it and the gift of laughter you elicit.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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This is really a simple and sweet poem (not that it was simple to write). I love the positive message in it and the gift of laughter you elicit.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Thank you kintesiegel, I enjoyed writing it. As you said, simple to read does not mean simple to write, as some people have implied.
I appreciate your kind review and ratings.
Warmest regards
Comment from wierdgrace
This is a great poem, the structure is well done, the rhyming is fun and tells a happy emotional story, it fits the contest and love the idea of the contest. no errors and no revisions, and I wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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This is a great poem, the structure is well done, the rhyming is fun and tells a happy emotional story, it fits the contest and love the idea of the contest. no errors and no revisions, and I wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Thanks weirdgrace, I appreciate your kind review and warm wishes. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from bnd-writenow
What a great entry for the contest, fulfilling the requirements.
I read the rules after knowing about so many people afraid of clowns to be sure it won't be scary! (You can't blame it all on Stephen King, and It.
What a fun and cheerful poem with a great presentation. I like how you weave fun and lessons into the same piece.
I opted to read this aloud from the start - and it slows well, with good rhyme. I'm sure some will fault you for rhyming go with go, but better to go with the flow, than force phrasing for rhyme.
Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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What a great entry for the contest, fulfilling the requirements.
I read the rules after knowing about so many people afraid of clowns to be sure it won't be scary! (You can't blame it all on Stephen King, and It.
What a fun and cheerful poem with a great presentation. I like how you weave fun and lessons into the same piece.
I opted to read this aloud from the start - and it slows well, with good rhyme. I'm sure some will fault you for rhyming go with go, but better to go with the flow, than force phrasing for rhyme.
Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Thank you so much, sometimes we have to put meaning before perfect rhyme or rhythm, as long as it fits in. That is my personal theory anyway!
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Warmest regards
Marijke
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I agree! I see I had some typos in my review - sorry, glad you 'got' it anyway!
Comment from melyuki
way to go Marijke, love your super happy clown poem and smiley faces. Every little boy and girl and every big adult could not help but turn on a big smile if they read your lovely verse. Filled to the brim with emotional joy, happiness shines throughout every line. Each reference to smiles builds in the reader's emotion, bringing an everlasting grin on their face as they read to the end of the poem. Great choice of thoughts and ideas to fill our hearts with laughter and bliss at the start of another new year. Start with a smile, and smile all the while. Love your words Marijke, and as you know, smiling and happy thoughts are right up my alley. and now, sending you bucket loads of smiles, hugs and happy faces, to sit on the shelves with all your clowns. luv as always Marijke, smiley Mel xxxxxxx
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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way to go Marijke, love your super happy clown poem and smiley faces. Every little boy and girl and every big adult could not help but turn on a big smile if they read your lovely verse. Filled to the brim with emotional joy, happiness shines throughout every line. Each reference to smiles builds in the reader's emotion, bringing an everlasting grin on their face as they read to the end of the poem. Great choice of thoughts and ideas to fill our hearts with laughter and bliss at the start of another new year. Start with a smile, and smile all the while. Love your words Marijke, and as you know, smiling and happy thoughts are right up my alley. and now, sending you bucket loads of smiles, hugs and happy faces, to sit on the shelves with all your clowns. luv as always Marijke, smiley Mel xxxxxxx
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Thanks smiley Mel, for your very kind words and those lovely shining stars. Jardene and Brendan were here with me whilst I was writing this. They vetted it first, gave me some advice, made me remove one verse, and chose the colour scheme. It was only when they approved, did I post it.
So, these stars are for them.
Yes, nothing like smiles, especially miles of smiles, and clowns.
Love my clowns.
Love you too, and your ever uplifting support.
Hugs and warmest wishes
Marijke
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special Hi Jardene and Brendan, love your clown poem and its great colours. made me smile, gave me a red nose just like clowns have, and I giggled so much I fell right of my seat and rolled around on the floor. My red nose fell off, my little birdie grabbed it and now I am looking for Rudolph the Red nosed raindeer, to ask him how he fixed his red nose on... keep writing your little treasures, cos Mel needs to keep on giggling. hugs to you both luv Mad Melxxxxxxx
Comment from findingmyroom
Marijke, this is such a sweet poem, lively and colorful just the way I think clowns should be. I have no suggestions for improvement; it's just right! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Marijke, this is such a sweet poem, lively and colorful just the way I think clowns should be. I have no suggestions for improvement; it's just right! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thank you so much for your review and kind comments. I'm pleased you enjoyed. I love clowns, I always look at my collection when I am a bit down, and remind myself to smile at myself. It works every time.
Warmest regards
Marijke
Comment from janskymelancholy
This is very cute and I think that just like the circus little kids would enjoy this. Any sad child couldn't resist after this. I really liked the artwork too. Really, really, real.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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This is very cute and I think that just like the circus little kids would enjoy this. Any sad child couldn't resist after this. I really liked the artwork too. Really, really, real.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Hi janskymelancholy. I am pleased you enjoyed. Can you advise me why you have rated it down to a 3 star rating? If this is Evil Eddie at work, can you correct the rating, as according to your comments, there doesn't need to be more work done on this.
If the 3 star rating is correct, please advise me how I can improve on this poem.
Thanks and warmest regards
Marijke
Comment from Amfunny
I am a clown. Do you want to collect me, too? I eat a lot though.. have to warn ya. LOL. Very cute poem. I am sure it will do well in the contest. Good luck. :)
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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I am a clown. Do you want to collect me, too? I eat a lot though.. have to warn ya. LOL. Very cute poem. I am sure it will do well in the contest. Good luck. :)
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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I am happy to collect you. Will you fit into my Chine Cabinet. I have some really cute and gorgeous clowns in there!
Thanks Ms Clown, I appreciate your comments and review, and of course, those lovely stars.
Warmest regards and clown hugs
Marijke
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Not unless you have a really big cabinet. LOL. But I am a cute clown. I promise.
Comment from donnadiann
You have put a good message in this. If at all possible, smiling is so much better. You have pretty good rhyming too. I like the art. The imagery here is very effective.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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You have put a good message in this. If at all possible, smiling is so much better. You have pretty good rhyming too. I like the art. The imagery here is very effective.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thank you Donna, I appreciate your kind comments and review. Also those lovely stars, of course. I enjoyed writing this, and it was given the sign of approval by two of my grand-children before I posted. They picked the colour scheme.
Warmest regards
Marijke
Comment from el twelve
that was absolutely charming. i am still smiling. the
words and flow were so smooth to make easy reading.
the topic so uplifting, picture great. thanks
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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that was absolutely charming. i am still smiling. the
words and flow were so smooth to make easy reading.
the topic so uplifting, picture great. thanks
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thank you el twelve, I appreciate your kind comments and review. Also those lovely stars, of course. I enjoyed writing this, and it was given the sign of approval by two of my grand-children before I posted. They picked the colour scheme.
Warmest regards
Marijke