Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Chapter 4 Part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
53 total reviews
Comment from alecto819
How did Leya get a passport in that name? Her flight information would have to match her passport for an international flight, and there's no way she already has a passport in a new name.
Other than that, I'm enjoying the story immensely.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2010
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How did Leya get a passport in that name? Her flight information would have to match her passport for an international flight, and there's no way she already has a passport in a new name.
Other than that, I'm enjoying the story immensely.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2010
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Technicalloy you're right, but this is a fiction romance.
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Haha, I know, I'm just picky. lol
Comment from ladybird
A very nice chapter. The reader is being show more of Layla and Stevens feelings towards one another.It seems as if Lela is putting herself in danger by taking off like that.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2009
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A very nice chapter. The reader is being show more of Layla and Stevens feelings towards one another.It seems as if Lela is putting herself in danger by taking off like that.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2009
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She is, but sometimes young'uns act on impulse. Which she did. Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from hfriscia
It's definitely an interesting chapter to read. I like the diagolue between the two characters, well written. Very Nice.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2009
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It's definitely an interesting chapter to read. I like the diagolue between the two characters, well written. Very Nice.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2009
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from FredCollingwood
You brought out the emotions and the personaltiies of the characters through dialog and action. That's the way good writers do it. Well fone!
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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You brought out the emotions and the personaltiies of the characters through dialog and action. That's the way good writers do it. Well fone!
Comment Written 09-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from sgalletti
Hi Barbara! I'm enjoying this sequel to the well told story of Matt and Dani on Leya and Steven. Similar great writing style keeps me engaged. Just a few nits, which you may have already taken care of:
"...that fights drug."
"all right" - "alright"?
"Who got close enough to put it?"
I like how you brought in italics to reflect Steven's thinking.
Sue
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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Hi Barbara! I'm enjoying this sequel to the well told story of Matt and Dani on Leya and Steven. Similar great writing style keeps me engaged. Just a few nits, which you may have already taken care of:
"...that fights drug."
"all right" - "alright"?
"Who got close enough to put it?"
I like how you brought in italics to reflect Steven's thinking.
Sue
Comment Written 09-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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I took care of two of the nits, but all right is correct. It is actually two words. Thank you for your review. I appreciate your continued support.
Comment from Mark Nolan
You have an excellent gift in what you write. This was inspiring and filled with a sense of "where is this heading next". Captivating the reader is what writing is all about. I can understand why you are having a book published. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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You have an excellent gift in what you write. This was inspiring and filled with a sense of "where is this heading next". Captivating the reader is what writing is all about. I can understand why you are having a book published. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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Thank you for your review and I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from StevenJosephBruening
An engrossing read with two well defined characters whose predicament kept my interest. You showed a great mastery of both internal and external dialogue construction. The story moved at a good pace for the reader to enjoy each detail of the chapter. Nice job.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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An engrossing read with two well defined characters whose predicament kept my interest. You showed a great mastery of both internal and external dialogue construction. The story moved at a good pace for the reader to enjoy each detail of the chapter. Nice job.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
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You are most welcome.
~ Steven
Comment from fionageorge
This is a great chapter, and your powerful use of dialogue makes it interesting and believable.
The dialogue is really good and builds the characters' personalities, or solidifies them.
Could not fault, and look forward to the next chapter.
Warmest Regards
Marijke
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2009
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This is a great chapter, and your powerful use of dialogue makes it interesting and believable.
The dialogue is really good and builds the characters' personalities, or solidifies them.
Could not fault, and look forward to the next chapter.
Warmest Regards
Marijke
Comment Written 08-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2009
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from RebelRose
I wondered what was going with these two. I haven't seen anything in quite awhile. I want to follow it until they realize they are love and consummate the marriage and get rid of those two families and their threats.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2009
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I wondered what was going with these two. I haven't seen anything in quite awhile. I want to follow it until they realize they are love and consummate the marriage and get rid of those two families and their threats.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2009
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Thank you for your review. The western contest took time. It's over so I should go back to posting regualary.
Comment from Pyrrhonian
Fantastic use of dialogue. I could feel the emotions very well, and your style captivated me and held me in, reading with anticipation, seeking resolution. Nice build up, and nice hold on the readers attention. The only thing I can think may improve it some, is to use, as Hemingway so often did, a bit more description and internal insight to bring more depth to the plot. Perhaps a flashback, or some detailed thought process of one of the characters, which can bring a new layer of complexity to the dialogue. Nice write.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2009
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Fantastic use of dialogue. I could feel the emotions very well, and your style captivated me and held me in, reading with anticipation, seeking resolution. Nice build up, and nice hold on the readers attention. The only thing I can think may improve it some, is to use, as Hemingway so often did, a bit more description and internal insight to bring more depth to the plot. Perhaps a flashback, or some detailed thought process of one of the characters, which can bring a new layer of complexity to the dialogue. Nice write.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2009
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I will consider your observation. Thank you for your review.