Lament
Free verse.32 total reviews
Comment from fluffyroroPlayer
This is a fast read but a good thought if we pay attention to the words.
Your poem reads well. It has good meter and rhythm.
The possibility of man walking on the planet called Moon, still seems unthinkable. We've come a long ways but I wonder just what we've learned that is beneficial to mankind.
Good work.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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This is a fast read but a good thought if we pay attention to the words.
Your poem reads well. It has good meter and rhythm.
The possibility of man walking on the planet called Moon, still seems unthinkable. We've come a long ways but I wonder just what we've learned that is beneficial to mankind.
Good work.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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Good question , and thank you so much for a great comment !
Comment from Victoria...
I really like this. The metaphor of a star as flower is very well done.
My only suggestion would be that if you are not tied to syllable count, change "conveying" to "convey". Active words are much more powerful than passive one.
Good poem!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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I really like this. The metaphor of a star as flower is very well done.
My only suggestion would be that if you are not tied to syllable count, change "conveying" to "convey". Active words are much more powerful than passive one.
Good poem!
Comment Written 22-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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Thank you so very much for the sugestion and great review !
Comment from onslaught of thought
talk about celestial! i loved the feeling i got while reading this. and the photo fits perfectly. i love reading things that make me feel heavenly, and this did it for me! thank you so much for sharing and have a wonderful day!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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talk about celestial! i loved the feeling i got while reading this. and the photo fits perfectly. i love reading things that make me feel heavenly, and this did it for me! thank you so much for sharing and have a wonderful day!
Comment Written 22-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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I am so glad you enjoy it ! Thank you for such great review !
Comment from R.W.L
Such vivid descritpions of the star and the night in this poem. You use very clear and unique descriptions. Great imaginative word usage. Good job.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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Such vivid descritpions of the star and the night in this poem. You use very clear and unique descriptions. Great imaginative word usage. Good job.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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Thank you so much for a great comment !
Comment from cofusioussays
cofusioussays - this is beautiful beautiful pili she wrote - cofusioussays he chicken bumps he get your poem he that beautiful he is he no more six stars he have -you are chick with brilliance in your hair
cofusioussays he salute chick with brilliance in her hair
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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cofusioussays - this is beautiful beautiful pili she wrote - cofusioussays he chicken bumps he get your poem he that beautiful he is he no more six stars he have -you are chick with brilliance in your hair
cofusioussays he salute chick with brilliance in her hair
Comment Written 22-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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thank you so much my sweet friend !
Comment from smiles_with_sunshine
>>>P>i>l>i>>P>u>b>u>l>>>
Pili, every time I read one of your poems, I am swept away to far away places, worlds where love and light abide. You say English is your second language, but you write like it's your first. Thank you for sharing. Take care Pili and "be" blessed.
:)s* smiles
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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>>>P>i>l>i>>P>u>b>u>l>>>
Pili, every time I read one of your poems, I am swept away to far away places, worlds where love and light abide. You say English is your second language, but you write like it's your first. Thank you for sharing. Take care Pili and "be" blessed.
:)s* smiles
Comment Written 22-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
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LOL I use the Synonyms book a lot ! Thank you so much smiles !
Comment from Rx kingpen
Beautiful prose but I would expect nothing less coming from you, my friend. Great word choice in this one too. Nothing to fix. I enjoyed this sweet write. Be well, Pili.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
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Beautiful prose but I would expect nothing less coming from you, my friend. Great word choice in this one too. Nothing to fix. I enjoyed this sweet write. Be well, Pili.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
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Thank you so much my friend !
Comment from Josipher32
This was a wonderfully written free verse poem.I found issues with flow or any mechanical errors to correct. sincerely, Kristen
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
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This was a wonderfully written free verse poem.I found issues with flow or any mechanical errors to correct. sincerely, Kristen
Comment Written 21-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
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thank you so much for a great review !
Comment from fastdigits
A peaceful writing that acts as
a massage to the mind of the
reader, a feeling of solitude and
peace listening to the sound of
undulating waves gliding upon
the golden sands of far-a-way
beaches.
Well done
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
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A peaceful writing that acts as
a massage to the mind of the
reader, a feeling of solitude and
peace listening to the sound of
undulating waves gliding upon
the golden sands of far-a-way
beaches.
Well done
Comment Written 21-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
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Wonderful review , thank you so much !
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi Pili. You have used some stunning imagery throughout this well written piece of free verse poetry. The artwork enhances your words very well
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
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Hi Pili. You have used some stunning imagery throughout this well written piece of free verse poetry. The artwork enhances your words very well
Comment Written 21-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
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Thank you so much Wendyanne !