Storm Fronts
There are many types of storm.10 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
I didn't expect the storm to be the littler battle in this one, but as it turned out, the cheating turned out to be a no factor. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
  |
I didn't expect the storm to be the littler battle in this one, but as it turned out, the cheating turned out to be a no factor. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
-
Ric,
Thanks for your review. I think I could have added a little more spice in this one. It came in second in the contest. Take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
This is a nice post. Good work.
"Shit, Bugger, Shit." she bellowed as the storm began lashing rain across the window. - This needs a little editing (punctuation/capitalization).
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
|
This is a nice post. Good work.
"Shit, Bugger, Shit." she bellowed as the storm began lashing rain across the window. - This needs a little editing (punctuation/capitalization).
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
-
Wayne,
Thanks for the review and suggestions for correction. The story came in second. Glad you enjoyed it.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oy. An honest peek into the conniving and most times unrelatable world of the rich and famous... And a unique take on 'storm'. Well implemented! ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
|
Oy. An honest peek into the conniving and most times unrelatable world of the rich and famous... And a unique take on 'storm'. Well implemented! ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
-
Thanks for the review and best wishes.
Comment from Natureschild
Hi, I like the way you have created internal tension and mirrored it with the external tension of the raging storm. Maria's vulnerability makes her a relatable character. I feel the conclusion is a bit abrupt, going from conflict to laughter rather quickly. However, I enjoyed the read. - Terry
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
|
Hi, I like the way you have created internal tension and mirrored it with the external tension of the raging storm. Maria's vulnerability makes her a relatable character. I feel the conclusion is a bit abrupt, going from conflict to laughter rather quickly. However, I enjoyed the read. - Terry
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
-
Thanks for the review and I am glad you enjoyed.
Cheers.
Comment from Gayla putnam
The story and how you equate it with the upcoming storm is genius. I felt the dark clouds moving outside and the forthcoming turmoil in her life. You need to do a small amount of clean-up proofreading. The sentence "I do not delay" (and) should be any. The line "the industry feeds" (of) should be off. Just a few minor errors, and it will be a grand contest entry. gayla
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
 |
The story and how you equate it with the upcoming storm is genius. I felt the dark clouds moving outside and the forthcoming turmoil in her life. You need to do a small amount of clean-up proofreading. The sentence "I do not delay" (and) should be any. The line "the industry feeds" (of) should be off. Just a few minor errors, and it will be a grand contest entry. gayla
Comment Written 25-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
-
Gayla,
Thanks for your review and also for your advice on some corrections. Very much appreciated.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
As I have learned over the many years, storms come in many fashions. The ones from the sky are often the least serious, but not always. This story is about two storms in my mind. There is the one outside and the one inside. Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
|
As I have learned over the many years, storms come in many fashions. The ones from the sky are often the least serious, but not always. This story is about two storms in my mind. There is the one outside and the one inside. Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 25-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
-
Thanks for your kind review and best wishes.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from marilyn quillen
great job, very well-written and nice flow,thoroughly enjoyable. you took me by surprise to use that type of storm, you have quite an imagination and you know how to use it.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
|
great job, very well-written and nice flow,thoroughly enjoyable. you took me by surprise to use that type of storm, you have quite an imagination and you know how to use it.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
-
Marilyn,
Thanks for your great review.Glad you enjoyed the story.
Cheers
Comment from papa55mike
An interesting look at an affair through Hollywood's eyes. At least there was forgiveness waiting for her. Please check these lines: "Shit, bugger, shit."She you need a space after the quotation mark.
Yell at me."
"Well, no, but now that, you need a paragraph break.
"I had a one-night stand."Maria stood there, you need a space after the quotation mark.
What a wonderfully written story. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless. mike
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
|
An interesting look at an affair through Hollywood's eyes. At least there was forgiveness waiting for her. Please check these lines: "Shit, bugger, shit."She you need a space after the quotation mark.
Yell at me."
"Well, no, but now that, you need a paragraph break.
"I had a one-night stand."Maria stood there, you need a space after the quotation mark.
What a wonderfully written story. Good luck in the contest! Have a great day, and God bless. mike
Comment Written 24-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
-
Mike,
Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read and thanks for your advice. I will follow that through soon. Have a great day.
Cheers
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
I love this story. I like how you have a storm brewing within and outside. The tempo of both storms are in sync as the story goes on.
Even though I'm competing with you I must say you are the better writer. Good luck in the contest.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
|
I love this story. I like how you have a storm brewing within and outside. The tempo of both storms are in sync as the story goes on.
Even though I'm competing with you I must say you are the better writer. Good luck in the contest.
Cecilia
Comment Written 24-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
-
Cecilia,
Thanks for the review. Best of luck.
-
You're welcome
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
What a enjoyable read. I loved how shared teh impending storm along side the emotional turmoil Maria was experiencing. The imagery of the darkening clouds really set the stage for the tension in her life. Your dialogue felt real. It was raw - I love that. Especially Maria's exchanges with Molly and Tim. The humor in the ending left me smiling! Keep up the fantastic work!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2024
|
What a enjoyable read. I loved how shared teh impending storm along side the emotional turmoil Maria was experiencing. The imagery of the darkening clouds really set the stage for the tension in her life. Your dialogue felt real. It was raw - I love that. Especially Maria's exchanges with Molly and Tim. The humor in the ending left me smiling! Keep up the fantastic work!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2024
-
Thanks for your kind review. Glad you enjoyed it and left with a smile.
Cheers.
Barry Penfold.