Vagaries of Life
Stormy endeavors6 total reviews
Comment from Kahlani
Hi Shanbreen, thank you for the explanation. I was wondering about the arrangement. This poem is well written with flowing sentences and evocative language. Thank you for an enjoyable read.
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Hi Shanbreen, thank you for the explanation. I was wondering about the arrangement. This poem is well written with flowing sentences and evocative language. Thank you for an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Shanbreen,
This free verse gives strong images of the water in the son and the diving birds, the boy playing in the water, and the effect of the son on the lattice of the fence. It shows beauty. It also seems to be about deciding to live life instead of hiding from it.
It reminds us how writing about this can be hard but it is well worth it.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Joan
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Hi Shanbreen,
This free verse gives strong images of the water in the son and the diving birds, the boy playing in the water, and the effect of the son on the lattice of the fence. It shows beauty. It also seems to be about deciding to live life instead of hiding from it.
It reminds us how writing about this can be hard but it is well worth it.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Joan
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
When we look at the activities outside our home, life is always changing and wildlife gets on with living without thinking. Humans take time to reflect and make sense of their world and this is what you did here, good. luck with the contest, love Dolly x
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When we look at the activities outside our home, life is always changing and wildlife gets on with living without thinking. Humans take time to reflect and make sense of their world and this is what you did here, good. luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
The vagaries of life are depicted here in the many images of nature: focus is constantly changing, deflected by events: joyful children, the changing sunlight, seagulls diving, Frank Sinatra playing. There's inspiration but then a draining away that leaves him exhausted and lost. When he's brave enough to re-enter the world the moment that could have been so vital for his creativity is lost.
Your perceptiveness of nature is delightful here, Shanbreen but I think your message becomes a little obscured by the intensity of it all. But an evocative read I enjoyed. Well done and good luck! Debbie
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The vagaries of life are depicted here in the many images of nature: focus is constantly changing, deflected by events: joyful children, the changing sunlight, seagulls diving, Frank Sinatra playing. There's inspiration but then a draining away that leaves him exhausted and lost. When he's brave enough to re-enter the world the moment that could have been so vital for his creativity is lost.
Your perceptiveness of nature is delightful here, Shanbreen but I think your message becomes a little obscured by the intensity of it all. But an evocative read I enjoyed. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
Comment from Carol Clark2
I like the contrasting moods in this poem. I was thinking of those whose homes were recently destroyed by hurricane as I read the lines, 'flood waters drain energy / hard to bear-- / exhaustion everywhere.' My only suggestion would be to use different words for 'place' in the final stanza. Nicely done! Blessings. Carol
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I like the contrasting moods in this poem. I was thinking of those whose homes were recently destroyed by hurricane as I read the lines, 'flood waters drain energy / hard to bear-- / exhaustion everywhere.' My only suggestion would be to use different words for 'place' in the final stanza. Nicely done! Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
Comment from royowen
A excellent poem, for someone who had a myriad of thoughts, it's hard to believe that he didn't have something to put to paper. But inspiration is a funny thing it certainly fits the thoughts, but not the heart, if one is down, it's hard to lift the pen, beautifully written, blessings Roy
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A excellent poem, for someone who had a myriad of thoughts, it's hard to believe that he didn't have something to put to paper. But inspiration is a funny thing it certainly fits the thoughts, but not the heart, if one is down, it's hard to lift the pen, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024