The Poets Menagerie
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Vigil"A collection of poems
8 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Lea,
This is a nicely done metaphorical free verse. It seems to be a man grieving the loss of his wife. It seems he is forgetting her face as time goes on. It can also be about Alzheimer's.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Enjoy your day.
Joan
P S I have just published a book titled "The Interloper and other stories in poetry and prose". I have provided a link to it on Amazon.com at the end of my profile page, it you are interested.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Hi Lea,
This is a nicely done metaphorical free verse. It seems to be a man grieving the loss of his wife. It seems he is forgetting her face as time goes on. It can also be about Alzheimer's.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Enjoy your day.
Joan
P S I have just published a book titled "The Interloper and other stories in poetry and prose". I have provided a link to it on Amazon.com at the end of my profile page, it you are interested.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Oh yeah, absolutely. But some of that myself I'd be surely interested in me reading yours. Thank you too for the review! Have the great night thanks again!
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You're welcome, Lea. Thanks for your interest in my book and the congrats.
Joan
Comment from CrystieCookie999
There are some really strong lines here in an eerie sort of love story poem with Halloween written all over it. My favorites were: The morass of synapse dissolves her face. And also the last line is great, although I would say there should be an apostrophe to make it "...in a quiet elbow's creak." with the ellipse changed to be a standard ellipse of three dots before the word 'in' there.
Little fix:
Her echo of words speaks in his minds hollow
I think you mean: mind's hollow
The first two lines seem to want apostrophes in a couple of places, too. But oh, my, what a creepy progression of phrases here, slightly disjointed like a decaying corpse.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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There are some really strong lines here in an eerie sort of love story poem with Halloween written all over it. My favorites were: The morass of synapse dissolves her face. And also the last line is great, although I would say there should be an apostrophe to make it "...in a quiet elbow's creak." with the ellipse changed to be a standard ellipse of three dots before the word 'in' there.
Little fix:
Her echo of words speaks in his minds hollow
I think you mean: mind's hollow
The first two lines seem to want apostrophes in a couple of places, too. But oh, my, what a creepy progression of phrases here, slightly disjointed like a decaying corpse.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Hello, and good day. Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate it. I appreciate your suggestions for change. As punctuation, it was never really my strong suit. Thank you again.I've made the changes, and I hope you have a great day!
Comment from Jim Wile
So glad you've returned to us, Lea, and congratulations on publication of your first part of the trilogy. I read Rachelle's interview with you, which I enjoyed very much. You continue to amaze me with how you have been able to stand up to all the abuse you've experienced and continue to. You are a very strong person.
What a very interesting poem this is. It was a little hard for me to follow, but I think the gist of it is a man keeping a vigil for his lover who has promised she will return, but as yet, she hasn't. This doesn't dissuade him, and he remains there waiting until he can barely even remember her, and in the process of waiting, his flesh melts off him, but she never returns. He finally gives up and decides to leave, but by this time he can't even get up, and all he can do is move his creaky elbow.
How did I do?
Regardless of the correctness of my interpretation, the imagery you used was stunningly original and gruesome and perfectly mirrored the picture you chose to accompany the poem. This was a very original and exceedingly eerie poem.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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So glad you've returned to us, Lea, and congratulations on publication of your first part of the trilogy. I read Rachelle's interview with you, which I enjoyed very much. You continue to amaze me with how you have been able to stand up to all the abuse you've experienced and continue to. You are a very strong person.
What a very interesting poem this is. It was a little hard for me to follow, but I think the gist of it is a man keeping a vigil for his lover who has promised she will return, but as yet, she hasn't. This doesn't dissuade him, and he remains there waiting until he can barely even remember her, and in the process of waiting, his flesh melts off him, but she never returns. He finally gives up and decides to leave, but by this time he can't even get up, and all he can do is move his creaky elbow.
How did I do?
Regardless of the correctness of my interpretation, the imagery you used was stunningly original and gruesome and perfectly mirrored the picture you chose to accompany the poem. This was a very original and exceedingly eerie poem.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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JIM!!! Thank you again for your interpretation is dead on! Glad to be able to see everyone and talk to everyone again. It's been an eventful while how's time for book 2. I will be pumping out chapters after i get it, which won't be long. Thank you, Jim. You're in my book.You know, I hope you have an awesome night!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this Halloween Poetry contest entry with us. This is a very strong entry. You creeped me out. I enjoyed reading and want to wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thank you for sharing this Halloween Poetry contest entry with us. This is a very strong entry. You creeped me out. I enjoyed reading and want to wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Hi, thank you so much.
I'm glad to be here and be able to post something soon. More chapters will come as I edit. Nice to see you here. Read your words.Thank you again.I hope you have an amazing day!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A powerful Halloween poem with some choice words here Lea and it is good to see you back as you make your entrance with this chilling poem. I have only one six left and it is yours for this inventive post, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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A powerful Halloween poem with some choice words here Lea and it is good to see you back as you make your entrance with this chilling poem. I have only one six left and it is yours for this inventive post, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much. I'm very appreciated. That's good to be around again. Life has been whirlwind. Thank you so much for your six amazing!! We will talk again really soon.Thank you again!
Comment from Neonewman
This is an outstanding entry for this Halloween poetry contest, Lea. There is so much about this that I enjoyed.
The signs of sanity melt the madness of his face-A, deliciously haunting line
His decrepit chair and spinal pour becomes one-This is fantastic work!
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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This is an outstanding entry for this Halloween poetry contest, Lea. There is so much about this that I enjoyed.
The signs of sanity melt the madness of his face-A, deliciously haunting line
His decrepit chair and spinal pour becomes one-This is fantastic work!
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thank you. I'm really glad you like it. Good to be back and good to be saying hello to everybody and yeah, I'll be pumping out some more stuff or frequently. Thank you very much appreciate this.I hope you have an awesome day!
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My pleasure, and I'm glad you are doing well with your work. I hope I'll do this well after I finish the Novel Dodie Rae. I have nineteen chapters done.
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Excellent! I hope for your success!
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Thank you, Lea.
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Excellent. I'm glad to hear writing is the best and most therapeutic and healthy thing a person can do do for themselves. Wish you only good things!
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Thank you, Lea.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Hi Lea! And welcome back with many congratulations on your book launch! This is a creepy one, well suited for the season. And so much more that the more sanitised dust to dust with all the gooey decomposition in between. Hateful emotions of a man and a woman are banished as nerves dissolve and faces become unrecognisable. The narrator, meanwhile, gives his/her last instruction before peace and catharsis are achieved. Hopefully, I'm not too far astray. Your powerful sentiments, as ever, never fail to carve their impact into the reader. Good luck, Lea! Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Hi Lea! And welcome back with many congratulations on your book launch! This is a creepy one, well suited for the season. And so much more that the more sanitised dust to dust with all the gooey decomposition in between. Hateful emotions of a man and a woman are banished as nerves dissolve and faces become unrecognisable. The narrator, meanwhile, gives his/her last instruction before peace and catharsis are achieved. Hopefully, I'm not too far astray. Your powerful sentiments, as ever, never fail to carve their impact into the reader. Good luck, Lea! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much. I'm happy to be able to put something out there. Say hello, to everybody and here comes some more book stuff and of course, it has to be here. There's no other choice. There is no other place. It has to be with everybody I know like yourself. Good to be back! Thank you for the great review! More of the book coming soon
Comment from Julie Helms
There is some magnificently stated really disgusting body fluids going on here! It's an interesting juxtaposition with the ultra-romantic, eternal vigil, as his body melts literally. Very thought-provoking and pretty horrific poem!
Best of luck in the contest
Julie
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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There is some magnificently stated really disgusting body fluids going on here! It's an interesting juxtaposition with the ultra-romantic, eternal vigil, as his body melts literally. Very thought-provoking and pretty horrific poem!
Best of luck in the contest
Julie
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Julie, I'm glad you liked it. Really nice to be back. Thank you for your fine review. As always. I'm happy to hear from everybody.And some book chapters are coming soon.Thank you again, have a great day!