Reviews from

Spirited Justice

Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Spirited Justice Chap 24"
Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks

19 total reviews 
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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This is a great chapter, Carol, as always. I tale it he won't.get away with it. I certainly hope.he won't. Now, I loved that last line: Just a few more seconds - it says it all. Hugs, Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Ulla... there are two more chapters dedicated to Angelo, Carlos and Jose and then we move forward with the case. I am glad that you are enjoying the story. It makes me happy!
    Smiles, Carol
reply by Ulla on 15-Sep-2024
    I'm ready to review the next chapter. On my way, xcx. lol
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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I am so pleased to be review #18 for this terrific chapter! Honestly, each one of your chapters should be ATBs...

Perhaps word of mouth is getting around and readership will continue increasing!

LOVE the little boy selling roses...what a clever "break" in the tension which quickly became the perfect ice breaker with the bank clerk!

I have mixed feelings, I admit. It wouldn't break my heart to see Alejandro get away and rehabilitate himself through the magic of your skill!

Karenina

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
    It sure would be nice if I could get more readers...even lost a few lately because they left the site out of frustration....Boo would give me a siz every time. I loved him! But I love you more and I don't need a six. Thanks for always being their to cheer me on and be my staunch supporter.
    Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by karenina on 16-Sep-2024
    I don't know what it is...

    Do so many review the short poems and dash away with the money?

    It's a writer's site and I wish I knew a way to convince people to take the time to read these longer works!

    They really are missing out!
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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He came close to pulling it off smoothly but the panic overtook when the bank officer walked it. You certainly show his fear at something he was afraid would happen. I don't he'll get away with it.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
    Yes..He had no idea whether he was caught or not, but he panicked and took off. Now it's up for grabs whether he makes it or not.
    Thanks so much, Beth. Have a great day!
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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Well, I guess since you left us with the line "Just a few more seconds . . . " it's safe to say he won't be getting away easily. LOL. But of course not, all your continuous conflict is what keeps me coming back for more.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
    You know me far too well... Something's going to happen that's for sure...Appreciate the review and your kindness.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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Oh wow, Carol, this was tense! What a build-up, beautifully expressed, immersing us deeper and deeper into the plan. There was no way of knowing how this was going to evolve but for a moment it looked as if it was going to work. Brilliant knife-edge ending because we still don't know. I think the piece de resistance is the little flower boy who distracted his thoughts but then dealt him a potentially winning card. Very well done! Debbie.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
    Thanks so much, DEbbie. The little boy was one of the little snippets that I hoped would catch the readers attention as much as it was meant to give Alejandro an opening with the clerk. Thank you for seeing that and enjoying.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Well, I held my breath there. Your description of his nerves and anticipation was great, and then the disaster of what seemed to be his discovery by the officer was also dramatic! He may have done better to try to bluff his way out of it .... Who knows? Looking forward to the next.
Wendy
Edit: ... he scribbled a barely legible "Arthur Becket" (Beckett)

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
    fixed and thank you!
    I appreciate your thoughts and your enjoyment with this chapter. I always worry if I can express the tension as the moments unfold.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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This is a very good chapter you have penned. You used great descriptive words and great imagery from your words. As he was almost caught my heart began to race! lol That is why I don't read any much but Christian and calmer things. Great job my friend. love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
    Hope your heart has settled, Teri! I would not want to be responsible for causing you grief. LOl It's another reason why my stories don't get to deep into the gore of a moment. thanks for the review and your kindness.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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This chapter was exhilarating. How clever to devote an entire chapter on what and how Alejandro was thinking and feeling. The young boy selling roses was a perfect and creative addition. You turned Alejandro into a real person, and I almost want to root for him, but he's doing the evil bidding of Jose. Will he get away? I can't wait to find out.

On a separate and personal note: Did you eventually get the phone call you were waiting for the other day?

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
    Thanks for the smile! I love when I can even get you rooting for the bad guy. LOL Admittedly, he doesn't mean to be bad, he just lets his childhood friend manipulate him. I'm not sure what consequences he will face.

    Yes, I did get a call and things are under way.... it's a beginning.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
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Oh wow!!! What an tension filled chapter. From the first sentence to the last, there was the sensation of a coiled spring just waiting to burst free. Of course, we are no closer to finding out what was in the file, but, still, we know it's something dangerous.

Now, what the officer knew, we don't, but apparently he was aware of something amiss.

Great job,
Big hugs
Rhonda

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
    I answered all these lovely reviews and then forgot to hit save replies...senilty for sure. As the page flipped to the front page of FS I imagine my groans could be heard everywhere. LOL Anyhow, I definitely appreciate your review and that fact that you could feel the tension within the story. Something I so strive to do!
    Smiles, Carol
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 14-Sep-2024
    Oh, wow... never a good thing to happen. How frustrating.
Comment from AliMom
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I haven't read your other chapters but this was exciting. Very realistic. I thought the constant reassurances were very real. The setting and descriptions of his environment were also very good. I am looking forward to reading more so I can learn about the other characters. What led up to his crime spree? Who is smooth talking Jose? How important is the little boy outside of the bank selling roses? Good writing.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024
    Wow! Thank you so much. I am thrilled that you enjoyed my efforts. If you would like to know what came before this but don't have the time to go back and read from the beginning, may I mention that in my portfolio I have posted a brief summary of the first 23 chapters. Don't feel pressured. It's a mere suggestion. Thank you again.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by AliMom on 15-Sep-2024
    No pressure. Thank you, I will.