Separation
The body through anxiety4 total reviews
Comment from F. William Lester
An interesting take on - I think - aging. Forgive me, but I missed some of your metaphors. As I am not a poet, that is my problem not yours. Thanks for sharing it. Good luck in the contest and be well.
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An interesting take on - I think - aging. Forgive me, but I missed some of your metaphors. As I am not a poet, that is my problem not yours. Thanks for sharing it. Good luck in the contest and be well.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
Comment from Shanbreen
For a first publication, this is a good poem. The separation aspect is hard to understand. The various aspects of separation of the body from anxiety is rather vague. I don't know if I am reading you right but the poem flows well. Perhaps, an explanation in the notes would be helpful. Congratulations on your first posting. All the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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For a first publication, this is a good poem. The separation aspect is hard to understand. The various aspects of separation of the body from anxiety is rather vague. I don't know if I am reading you right but the poem flows well. Perhaps, an explanation in the notes would be helpful. Congratulations on your first posting. All the best for the contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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Thanks, I added some notes
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Congrats on your first post! I enjoyed it. Your poem captures anxiety so well! I like how you shared a series of intense and often unsettling images. Each line makes me feel almost suffocation. I love how you added "Breathe" into the poem - it works so well as showing how anxiety can overwhelm you if you let it. Great job!
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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Congrats on your first post! I enjoyed it. Your poem captures anxiety so well! I like how you shared a series of intense and often unsettling images. Each line makes me feel almost suffocation. I love how you added "Breathe" into the poem - it works so well as showing how anxiety can overwhelm you if you let it. Great job!
Comment Written 10-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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Thank you, don't forget to breath
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi
Welcome to the site.
This is a good first entry. It seems to say that you are finding it hard to breathe in these hard times using the little sun to bring yourself out
of the dryness of emotions.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day
Joan
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2024
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Hi
Welcome to the site.
This is a good first entry. It seems to say that you are finding it hard to breathe in these hard times using the little sun to bring yourself out
of the dryness of emotions.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day
Joan
Comment Written 10-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2024
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Thank you deerly
I shall persevere, until I can call myself a poet