His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "His Silence - Chapter 23"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
8 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
The tension is thick. Danielle is an intelligent girl, but I think she is considering moving in. BAD IDEA! Ok, I have to catch the next chapter. Then I need to get to work on mine, lol.
Brilliant work, Jacob.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2024
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The tension is thick. Danielle is an intelligent girl, but I think she is considering moving in. BAD IDEA! Ok, I have to catch the next chapter. Then I need to get to work on mine, lol.
Brilliant work, Jacob.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 22-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Steve, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Your story is going well, and the mood is still a little creepy/scary. I understand why she needed to see Callum. The place does seem oddly empty with all the doors locked. When you get ready to do your rewrite, you need to start adding colors to the story. Is the house inside all one color (beige, gray, white or some vibrant colors)? Does the furniture match or look like odd lots? What are people wearing or is everyone always in white? Any pictures on the walls? Hardwood floors, carpeting, or linoleum? Also, I have a question. What does mutual mean in . . . same (mutual) expression . . . and . . . Callum?' I ask(.) I can hear . . .
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2024
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Your story is going well, and the mood is still a little creepy/scary. I understand why she needed to see Callum. The place does seem oddly empty with all the doors locked. When you get ready to do your rewrite, you need to start adding colors to the story. Is the house inside all one color (beige, gray, white or some vibrant colors)? Does the furniture match or look like odd lots? What are people wearing or is everyone always in white? Any pictures on the walls? Hardwood floors, carpeting, or linoleum? Also, I have a question. What does mutual mean in . . . same (mutual) expression . . . and . . . Callum?' I ask(.) I can hear . . .
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2024
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Thank you Carol, I think I meant neutral rather than mutual. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Oliver is such a slippery individual! Danielle is simply not going to be getting a straight answer from him is she? This is all decidedly creepy and I don't blame Danielle insisting on seeing Callum to try and recover some sense of normality. This is all very visually done here, Jacob, I'm impressed. A couple of edits:
Can I see Callum? (I ask I can?) hear
He stares a(t) me for a brief...
Thanks for sharing, Jacob. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2024
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Oliver is such a slippery individual! Danielle is simply not going to be getting a straight answer from him is she? This is all decidedly creepy and I don't blame Danielle insisting on seeing Callum to try and recover some sense of normality. This is all very visually done here, Jacob, I'm impressed. A couple of edits:
Can I see Callum? (I ask I can?) hear
He stares a(t) me for a brief...
Thanks for sharing, Jacob. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2024
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Thank you Debbie, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Jacob,
Danielle gets a chance to talk to Oliver, but only after a creepy, stalking kind of experience. There are obviously some red flags here and the need for Danielle to escape almost as important as her desire to find out what happened to her parents. I have a feeling Harvey knew they wouldn't tell her anything, but hoped they would convince her to stay.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Hi Jacob,
Danielle gets a chance to talk to Oliver, but only after a creepy, stalking kind of experience. There are obviously some red flags here and the need for Danielle to escape almost as important as her desire to find out what happened to her parents. I have a feeling Harvey knew they wouldn't tell her anything, but hoped they would convince her to stay.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Thank you Rhonda, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from lancellot
This is written very well, but I will admit, it is a lot like those horror movies you watch, when you're screaming in your head to the lady protagonist, "Just leave. For God's sake, go. What's wrong with you. Run!!!"
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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This is written very well, but I will admit, it is a lot like those horror movies you watch, when you're screaming in your head to the lady protagonist, "Just leave. For God's sake, go. What's wrong with you. Run!!!"
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
When she asks question, Oliver acts as if everything is normal and nothing sinister and he is a confused as she as to why her brother killed his parents but she doesn't trust these people completely and feels there is more to learn. She needs to know why they live together and why the rooms need to be locked at night. I hope we find that out eventually. You story is mystery that I find intriguing.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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When she asks question, Oliver acts as if everything is normal and nothing sinister and he is a confused as she as to why her brother killed his parents but she doesn't trust these people completely and feels there is more to learn. She needs to know why they live together and why the rooms need to be locked at night. I hope we find that out eventually. You story is mystery that I find intriguing.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Thank you Beth, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Danielle isn't going to get the answers she needs from Oliver. It causes me to wonder why? Why are they so secretive and more importantly what are they hiding? You're doing a good job writing this.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Danielle isn't going to get the answers she needs from Oliver. It causes me to wonder why? Why are they so secretive and more importantly what are they hiding? You're doing a good job writing this.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Thank you Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
Morning can't come fast enough, Jacob! And if Danielle has any brains she will get out of that place...who willing stays somewhere when things seem so strange and eerie? Wake up, Callum. Let's go!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Morning can't come fast enough, Jacob! And if Danielle has any brains she will get out of that place...who willing stays somewhere when things seem so strange and eerie? Wake up, Callum. Let's go!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Thank you Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.