The Lucky 7
The Elithe Navigaor Crew comes home8 total reviews
Comment from Rachelle Allen
WOWIE ZOWIE!!! What a TALE!!! You made it so exciting and fascinating and rhymed it with finesse and aplomb, never forcing words to work. You even made the meter feel as if I were bobbing along on the water! EXCELLENT work!! I predict that I will be seeing this on in the Winner's Circle of the Share A Story In A Poem contest!! Best of luck to you!! xoxox
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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WOWIE ZOWIE!!! What a TALE!!! You made it so exciting and fascinating and rhymed it with finesse and aplomb, never forcing words to work. You even made the meter feel as if I were bobbing along on the water! EXCELLENT work!! I predict that I will be seeing this on in the Winner's Circle of the Share A Story In A Poem contest!! Best of luck to you!! xoxox
Comment Written 10-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much
Comment from jake cosmos aller
a nice poem about a true event harrowing story of survival at sea for the lucky seven who survived the sinking of their ship at sea life at sea can be quite dangerous they are indeed the lucky seven
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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a nice poem about a true event harrowing story of survival at sea for the lucky seven who survived the sinking of their ship at sea life at sea can be quite dangerous they are indeed the lucky seven
Comment Written 10-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written story poem, and it has quite a message to each of us about having courage and face of real danger. I enjoyed listening to it very much and it flows very well when it is read aloud. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and I wish you the best in the contest. Patricia.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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This is a very well written story poem, and it has quite a message to each of us about having courage and face of real danger. I enjoyed listening to it very much and it flows very well when it is read aloud. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and I wish you the best in the contest. Patricia.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much Patricia
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Joanne,
You've told a great story of survival for this "Story in a Poem" contest. I enjoyed it. You have a lot of rhymes and near rhymes in the meter-less poem, but I'd like to see more appropriate punctuation marks.
I would still suggest a couple of things, though. Minor things, but I feel they need to be corrected.
"They had to abandon ship before it sank or they wouldnt live to share this tale." ... ("wouldnt" needs an apostrophe - wouldn't)
"When the sky cleared Carter set of a smoke flare that brought an helicopter around." ... ( "a helicopter")
"He was an hero for sure." ... ( "a hero")
To be honest, Joanne, I think you need to edit the poem with proper punctuation to stand a chance at winning the contest. But this is just my opinion. The story itself is perfect. It reminds me of the 2000 movie, "Perfect Storm", based on the true story of the Andrea Gail out of Gloucester, Mass., lost at sea when storms collided in the fall of 1991. George Clooney played the captain of the sword-fishing boat (Billy Tyne). Other actors and actresses in the movie were Mark Wahlberg, Diane Lane, William Fichtner, John C. Reilly, John Hawkes, Allen Payne, Karen Allen, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Rusty Schwimmer, and Cherry Jones.
Good Luck!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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Hi Joanne,
You've told a great story of survival for this "Story in a Poem" contest. I enjoyed it. You have a lot of rhymes and near rhymes in the meter-less poem, but I'd like to see more appropriate punctuation marks.
I would still suggest a couple of things, though. Minor things, but I feel they need to be corrected.
"They had to abandon ship before it sank or they wouldnt live to share this tale." ... ("wouldnt" needs an apostrophe - wouldn't)
"When the sky cleared Carter set of a smoke flare that brought an helicopter around." ... ( "a helicopter")
"He was an hero for sure." ... ( "a hero")
To be honest, Joanne, I think you need to edit the poem with proper punctuation to stand a chance at winning the contest. But this is just my opinion. The story itself is perfect. It reminds me of the 2000 movie, "Perfect Storm", based on the true story of the Andrea Gail out of Gloucester, Mass., lost at sea when storms collided in the fall of 1991. George Clooney played the captain of the sword-fishing boat (Billy Tyne). Other actors and actresses in the movie were Mark Wahlberg, Diane Lane, William Fichtner, John C. Reilly, John Hawkes, Allen Payne, Karen Allen, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Rusty Schwimmer, and Cherry Jones.
Good Luck!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 10-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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I watched the perfect storm excellent movie very tragic outcome. Thank you so much for your help.
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Hi Joanne,
I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you one other thing that needs repair...
"When the sky cleared Carter set (of) a smoke flare that brought an helicopter around." ... ( it should be "set off a smoke flare"
Hugs,
Kimbob
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Thanks 🙂
Comment from Bill Schott
This story poem, The Lucky Seven, tells a tale of these crewmen forced to leave their ship and take their chances at sea. It is a good example of how to keep calm and motivated in a perilous situation.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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This story poem, The Lucky Seven, tells a tale of these crewmen forced to leave their ship and take their chances at sea. It is a good example of how to keep calm and motivated in a perilous situation.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much
Comment from royowen
It must be a terrifying thing to be lost at sea. But it seems like they made it by their clever resolve to stay alive in a treacherous place that would defeat most, beautifully written Joanne, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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It must be a terrifying thing to be lost at sea. But it seems like they made it by their clever resolve to stay alive in a treacherous place that would defeat most, beautifully written Joanne, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much Roy it was a miracle indeed
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Most welcome
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness, what a tale Joanne and I was glad to hear they all survived this terrible tragedy and were able to return home to their families. A fine story of survival here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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Oh my goodness, what a tale Joanne and I was glad to hear they all survived this terrible tragedy and were able to return home to their families. A fine story of survival here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much Dolly I know some of the fishermen . So happy for them.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Joanne
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
Just had a good rhyming scheme and it flowed pretty well. It has no set meter.
It reminds me of the Edmund Fitzgerald, but I don't think anybody from that ship lived
There were some people from the Titanic that lived, and they the lucky ones who got in the lifeboats and the rafts
You told it very well from beginning to end
Here. It should be were lost at Sea. Navigator and crew are the subject and they're plural
"Navigator and crew was lost at sea. "
Here. They'd
"They received their turbot catch "
Here. I know you know that wouldn't has an apostrophe in it. Just because you're writing poetry you don't need to make basic mistakes like this.
"they wouldnt live to share this "
Here off
"set of a smoke flare "
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Hi, Joanne
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
Just had a good rhyming scheme and it flowed pretty well. It has no set meter.
It reminds me of the Edmund Fitzgerald, but I don't think anybody from that ship lived
There were some people from the Titanic that lived, and they the lucky ones who got in the lifeboats and the rafts
You told it very well from beginning to end
Here. It should be were lost at Sea. Navigator and crew are the subject and they're plural
"Navigator and crew was lost at sea. "
Here. They'd
"They received their turbot catch "
Here. I know you know that wouldn't has an apostrophe in it. Just because you're writing poetry you don't need to make basic mistakes like this.
"they wouldnt live to share this "
Here off
"set of a smoke flare "
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much