2024 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 166 "The Conch"x
8 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So often children get wrapped up in adult problems that they have no business being party to, yet the parents don't seem to care. Thank you for sharing this all too real problem in this beautiful poem and presentation.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
  |
So often children get wrapped up in adult problems that they have no business being party to, yet the parents don't seem to care. Thank you for sharing this all too real problem in this beautiful poem and presentation.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
-
Thank you very much, Barbara.
gypsy hugs 😊
Comment from shelley kaye
actually, he's listening to his own heartbeat... but why burst his little magical heart lol
a great senryu with a deep meaning
nice imagery and smooth flow
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
|
actually, he's listening to his own heartbeat... but why burst his little magical heart lol
a great senryu with a deep meaning
nice imagery and smooth flow
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
-
Thank you very much, Shelley
Gypsy 😊
Comment from Neonewman
I used to be so excited when I'd find a shell that produced the sound of the sea. This is another excellent piece you have delivered, Gypsy.
God bless
Steve
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
|
I used to be so excited when I'd find a shell that produced the sound of the sea. This is another excellent piece you have delivered, Gypsy.
God bless
Steve
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
-
Thank you very much, Steve
Gypsy 😊
-
My pleasure, Gypsy. I'm playing catch-up, lol.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
The son distracts himself from domestic violence by listening to the world outside and the message of the sea. Gypsy, because 'another' literally means - (one) other, I don't think you can put a plural form of parent after it. Maybe make 'parent' singular with the apostrophe before the 's.' An impressive verse about human nature accompanied by a beautiful image of childhood. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
|
The son distracts himself from domestic violence by listening to the world outside and the message of the sea. Gypsy, because 'another' literally means - (one) other, I don't think you can put a plural form of parent after it. Maybe make 'parent' singular with the apostrophe before the 's.' An impressive verse about human nature accompanied by a beautiful image of childhood. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
-
Thank you very much, Debbie. I appreciate your help with grammar. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy 😊
-
Hi Gypsy, I hope my review came over alright. It sounds a bit pedantic to me now. I just wasn't sure if you intended parents in the plural or not. Anyway, it looks great now.
-
Your review was not pedantic at all. I always appreciate help with grammar and constructive criticism. (*=*)
Comment from Rachelle Allen
I could definitely see a child doing this to tune out the noise of another parental argument. Children are so creative in their resiliency. This was heart-wrenching, but the picture of him looking o peaceful made it less painful. Well done, Gypsy. xo
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
|
I could definitely see a child doing this to tune out the noise of another parental argument. Children are so creative in their resiliency. This was heart-wrenching, but the picture of him looking o peaceful made it less painful. Well done, Gypsy. xo
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
-
Thank you very much, Rachelle. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy 😊
-
You, too!
Comment from RJ Heritage
I have done this many times, especially when I was a child. It allows the imagination to roam freely ln a chld's mind. Very vivid illustration and words that embrace its theme.
RJ
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
|
I have done this many times, especially when I was a child. It allows the imagination to roam freely ln a chld's mind. Very vivid illustration and words that embrace its theme.
RJ
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
-
Thank you very much, RJ . Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy 😊
Comment from lyenochka
It's always frightening for a child when parents fight. It's good that he chose to listen to the soothing sound of the ocean in the conch shell. Nature has a calming influence.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
|
It's always frightening for a child when parents fight. It's good that he chose to listen to the soothing sound of the ocean in the conch shell. Nature has a calming influence.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
-
Thank you very much, Big Sister. Happy weekend!
Love,
MariVal
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, The Conch, has the proper formatting and seems to express this feeling of escape from the adult world which has no place at present for this child.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
|
This senryu, The Conch, has the proper formatting and seems to express this feeling of escape from the adult world which has no place at present for this child.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
-
Thank you very much, . Bill. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy 😊
