Not Quite Heaven Screenplay
The beginning6 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
I would recommend studying script form and formatting. That way you will know what belongs in a script vs. a story/prose. Scripts can be limiting in nature.
notes:
Michael turns to see two ANGELS, ARIA and CARO, emerging from the ethereal mist that swirls around their feet. Aria's golden hair shimmers as if it's woven with threads of light, and her sapphire eyes hold a depth that seems to pierce through Michael's confusion. Caro's crimson hair flows like flames, and her emerald eyes glisten with an otherworldly sparkle.
- This is prose or story exposition, not script form.
Michael awakens amidst clouds, their soft, cotton-like texture surrounding him.
-More exposition that someone watching or reading a script cannot know. Is this being spoken by a narrator to the audience?
Michael gazes at them in awe. The beauty of Aria and Caro contrasts sharply with the starkness of the cemetery. Aria's hair cascades like a golden waterfall, her eyes a captivating blue that seems to reflect the very essence of the sky. Caro's hair glows with a reddish hue, and her eyes sparkle with a vibrant green that contrasts with the somber scene.
-Who is speaking this?
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I would recommend studying script form and formatting. That way you will know what belongs in a script vs. a story/prose. Scripts can be limiting in nature.
notes:
Michael turns to see two ANGELS, ARIA and CARO, emerging from the ethereal mist that swirls around their feet. Aria's golden hair shimmers as if it's woven with threads of light, and her sapphire eyes hold a depth that seems to pierce through Michael's confusion. Caro's crimson hair flows like flames, and her emerald eyes glisten with an otherworldly sparkle.
- This is prose or story exposition, not script form.
Michael awakens amidst clouds, their soft, cotton-like texture surrounding him.
-More exposition that someone watching or reading a script cannot know. Is this being spoken by a narrator to the audience?
Michael gazes at them in awe. The beauty of Aria and Caro contrasts sharply with the starkness of the cemetery. Aria's hair cascades like a golden waterfall, her eyes a captivating blue that seems to reflect the very essence of the sky. Caro's hair glows with a reddish hue, and her eyes sparkle with a vibrant green that contrasts with the somber scene.
-Who is speaking this?
Comment Written 27-Jul-2024
Comment from Begin Again
I wish you well with your screenplay. My son is the champion of those in our family, not me. That category seems to be neglected on the site and I am sure you will be a great addition. Now we wait to see how Michael's mission unfolds. Good luck!
Smiles, Carol
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I wish you well with your screenplay. My son is the champion of those in our family, not me. That category seems to be neglected on the site and I am sure you will be a great addition. Now we wait to see how Michael's mission unfolds. Good luck!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 27-Jul-2024
Comment from DJ Allen
There is bewilderment, spirituality, and some possible horror aspects to this, as well as uncertainty and hope. Mystery of what he did has the readers hooked.
You ask for help. I like everything you've done here, but I would change one thing, which would be more imagery of what he is seeing, in the sense of more participation, more motivation for going back, perhaps the circling of negative influences that he is very concerned about...it would depend on the situation I guess...
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There is bewilderment, spirituality, and some possible horror aspects to this, as well as uncertainty and hope. Mystery of what he did has the readers hooked.
You ask for help. I like everything you've done here, but I would change one thing, which would be more imagery of what he is seeing, in the sense of more participation, more motivation for going back, perhaps the circling of negative influences that he is very concerned about...it would depend on the situation I guess...
Comment Written 27-Jul-2024
Comment from lyenochka
I'm glad you are doing a screenplay for your book! The script category is so unappreciated so I'm glad you are adding to it.
You have an engaging opener and we're hoping that Michael will be successful in his mission! Funny that I have been thinking about a heaven scene for this week but a very different situation.
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I'm glad you are doing a screenplay for your book! The script category is so unappreciated so I'm glad you are adding to it.
You have an engaging opener and we're hoping that Michael will be successful in his mission! Funny that I have been thinking about a heaven scene for this week but a very different situation.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2024
Comment from Teri7
I really enjoyed reading this script you have posted. I like reading about angels and all they get into on earth. I look forward to the next scene. love and blessings, Teri
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I really enjoyed reading this script you have posted. I like reading about angels and all they get into on earth. I look forward to the next scene. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 26-Jul-2024
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written script, and I enjoyed very much listening to it. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Your script is very precise in its presentation and I enjoyed that. Have a good day. May God bless your weekend.
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This is a very well written script, and I enjoyed very much listening to it. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Your script is very precise in its presentation and I enjoyed that. Have a good day. May God bless your weekend.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2024