Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

Who-done-it, and what did they do? You've written a full mystery in a short flash fiction story. There is a dead body, but is there a criminal? Only the author knows. Great story. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024

Excellent review. Thank you so much. Indeed, was a crime even committed? You alone have seen the possibility that maybe the events were unconnected.
Wendy

Comment from Rene Tyo

Excellent

Very entertaining story in so few words. This provides intrigue and leaves an ending to be interpreted by the reader, which I love. Much can be conveyed in a short story such as this, great read.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024

Thank you for a fine review. Yes, who knows if a crime was even committed? Maybe all unrelated events.
Wendy

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

This was a good flash fiction story Wendy. You built the tension up well with the man in black, was he avoiding the police. This was very realistic and with no unneeded wording. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024

Thanks so much Valda. Yes who knows if a crime was even committed or if they were all unrelated events?
Wendy

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

You've given us a mystery or a who dunnit in this flash of 75 words. One never knows or can you second guess just because the man wore black.... But I think this one was up to no good.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024

Lol. Was a crime committed? There are alternative explanations for each bit. So, who knows? Thanks so much for a greta review.
Wendy

Comment from Paul McFarland

Excellent

You have done a really good job with this flash fiction, Wendy. This scene is played out all too often these days, even though your piece is a work of fiction.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024

Thanks Paul. Much appreciation. But - was a crime committed? Perhaps she died of natural causes. Maybe the man/men were not involved. Was it just a police welfare check? Who knows?
Wendy

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Hand-counted severty-five words, so meets that requirement of the contest.

The first sentence makes one wonder why he "hurried along the footpath"? Therefore, a good hook.

"back yard" should be backyard.

Right under the noses of the police and they missed their killer, even with him wearing black.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024

Thank you Brett. Was a crime committed? Perhaps it was a welfare check by police, and nothing to do with the man/men. Perhaps the old lady died of natural causes. Who knows?
Re back yard: In Australia we use back yard as two words for a place, and only use "backyard" in an adjectival sense eg to describe an activity, eg "a backyard barbecue", so i'll leave it as it is. A cultural difference perhaps.
Wendy

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This seventy-five-word story, Who Knows?, captures a sad tale that points a finger perhaps at what we let pass in our own area and the awful results of inaction.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024

Thanks so much Bill. But - who knows if a crime was even committed? The man/men may have been unrelated to the house the police were checking. The old lady may have died of natural causes. Who knows?
Lol.
Wendy

Comment from Ginda Simpson

Excellent

It is never easy to tell a story in seventy-five words, but you have been successful and penned a good entry for the contest. The surprise ending is told so matter-of-factly, it is almost humorous. Well done.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024

Thank you Ginda. Great review.
In fact she may have died of natural causes, and the man or two men may have been innocent. Maybe a police welfare check at the first house? Was there even a crime? Who knows?
Wendy

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

This is a very chilling story. I know it's a fiction but it's still a chilling story to think about especially when I'm an older person now I am at home alone many days. Patricia.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024

Thanks so much for reviewing Patricia. But maybe the old lady died of natural causes, and everything was a series of coincidences. Who knows?
Wendy

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Clever you! You left us to imagine our own ending! This reminds me of all the times the officers arrest the wrong person. Or did they? Your crimes themed flash gave us just enough info to totally guess wrong!

Karenina

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024

Now - was there indeed a crime? She may have died of natural causes! He/they may be quite innocent. The police may have been doing a welfare check! Who knows? Lol. Thanks so much for a great review. I'll leave you wondering ....
Wendy

reply by karenina on 18-Jul-2024

And that's how I like my mysteries! All muddy and confused! (smile)