2024 Gypsy's Free Verse
Viewing comments for Chapter 73 "Goodbye Innocence ".
10 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Gypsy, thank you for sharing your poem and a piece of your heart. Children are whimsical, and it's a good thing that they have that time in their life because when they grow up, life gets serious.
Your poem reads and flows well and has good imagery and sensory appeal. I especially liked:
we flew in our dreams
felt the cool air on our faces
(The best part of feeling the cool air upon our faces is also feeling the freedom of being a child.)
Beautiful presentation. I love the photo. Well done. Xo. M
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Hi Gypsy, thank you for sharing your poem and a piece of your heart. Children are whimsical, and it's a good thing that they have that time in their life because when they grow up, life gets serious.
Your poem reads and flows well and has good imagery and sensory appeal. I especially liked:
we flew in our dreams
felt the cool air on our faces
(The best part of feeling the cool air upon our faces is also feeling the freedom of being a child.)
Beautiful presentation. I love the photo. Well done. Xo. M
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, Margaret 😊 I appreciate your exceptional six stars review.
Gypsy
Comment from juliaSjames
I must be a rationalist at heart because in all my flying dreams I'm in an aeroplane or rocket ship! On the other hand, I don't do much more than a cautious breast stroke and hate getting out of my depth. But I swim happily in my dreams. LOL
I enjoyed the nostalgia of your write. I come from the flat coast of Guyana. As children my friends and I rode around the city on our bikes. It gave us freedom. At least in daytime. Our innocence protected us
Blessings, Cheryl
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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I must be a rationalist at heart because in all my flying dreams I'm in an aeroplane or rocket ship! On the other hand, I don't do much more than a cautious breast stroke and hate getting out of my depth. But I swim happily in my dreams. LOL
I enjoyed the nostalgia of your write. I come from the flat coast of Guyana. As children my friends and I rode around the city on our bikes. It gave us freedom. At least in daytime. Our innocence protected us
Blessings, Cheryl
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, Cheryl 😊
Gypsy
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I would hope all of us retain a certain about of innocence as we age, some is good. Of course, to survive this journey of life, much need to leave. Good luck with contest entry.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I would hope all of us retain a certain about of innocence as we age, some is good. Of course, to survive this journey of life, much need to leave. Good luck with contest entry.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much,
gypsy hugs 😊
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy....and isn't it the truth, as children we were so much more innocent, until life batters us to cinesizm. So much happier in our illusion bubble
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Another fine poem, Gypsy....and isn't it the truth, as children we were so much more innocent, until life batters us to cinesizm. So much happier in our illusion bubble
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, I appreciate your exceptional six stars review.
gypsy hugs 😊
Comment from Neonewman
Gypsy, your work never fails to impress me. The elegance and flow of every line are tantalizing. I know Mary Smith is fictional, but I can't help but wonder if she was who the letter was for, innocent.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Gypsy, your work never fails to impress me. The elegance and flow of every line are tantalizing. I know Mary Smith is fictional, but I can't help but wonder if she was who the letter was for, innocent.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, Mike.
gypsy hugs 😊
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I'm wondering who MariVal Bayles. Could we have a note? And Goodby(e)
But this is really letting imagination run wild, wind in your hair, lifting higher and higher. We should never let anyone tell us we can't fly:)) Beautifully done! Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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I'm wondering who MariVal Bayles. Could we have a note? And Goodby(e)
But this is really letting imagination run wild, wind in your hair, lifting higher and higher. We should never let anyone tell us we can't fly:)) Beautifully done! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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My real name is MariVal Bayles but I changed it to Mary Smith and wrote a note. I thought about it and I don't want to use my real name.
Thank you very much, Debbie.
(*÷*)
Gypsy
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This one is so sad. But it's well done and beautiful to look at. Nothing hurts more than when you accept someone else's version of your own truth. Thankfully, this is a poem and not real life! xoxo
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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This one is so sad. But it's well done and beautiful to look at. Nothing hurts more than when you accept someone else's version of your own truth. Thankfully, this is a poem and not real life! xoxo
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, Rachelle. (*÷*)
Gypsy
Comment from lyenochka
But our spirits fly and our minds are time travelers which take us back to those times of childhood innocence before we learned the limits of reality. Lovely poem and it made me think of your first love in Spain and then all the hardships you faced afterwards.
One typo at the end:
goodby innocence,
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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But our spirits fly and our minds are time travelers which take us back to those times of childhood innocence before we learned the limits of reality. Lovely poem and it made me think of your first love in Spain and then all the hardships you faced afterwards.
One typo at the end:
goodby innocence,
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, big sister. I fixed the error. Debbie told me too. I love kind feedback ❤️
Love
Marival
(*÷*)
Comment from RJ Heritage
I can related to having such a vivid imagination when I was a child. Writers become children again as our imagination soar. I know that many people can also relate to that time when we found out that many things in our dreams were not real.
Beautiful and relatable written poem.
RJ
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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I can related to having such a vivid imagination when I was a child. Writers become children again as our imagination soar. I know that many people can also relate to that time when we found out that many things in our dreams were not real.
Beautiful and relatable written poem.
RJ
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, RJ 😊
(*÷*)
Gypsy
Comment from shelley kaye
so is marival your name?? way cool name and spelling!!
a great free verse with deep emotional impact on the reader
nice imagery and smooth flow and format
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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so is marival your name?? way cool name and spelling!!
a great free verse with deep emotional impact on the reader
nice imagery and smooth flow and format
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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MariVal is my real name but I changed my mind and changed it to Mary Smith. LoL. I don't want everybody knowing my real first and last name.
Thank you very much, Shelley 😊
(*÷*)
Gypsy
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lol!