birth of new foundation
birth of joy5 total reviews
Comment from Shanbreen
This poem is profound in the promotion of joy --- an abstract concept that makes it philosophical. However, as a poem (even as a free-verse poem) it was hard to read because for me, it didn't flow smoothly. Perhaps, that in itself could be seen as a new found manner of joy.
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This poem is profound in the promotion of joy --- an abstract concept that makes it philosophical. However, as a poem (even as a free-verse poem) it was hard to read because for me, it didn't flow smoothly. Perhaps, that in itself could be seen as a new found manner of joy.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2024
Comment from Barry Penfold
Thanks for the notes. I have never experienced philosophical writing, but it was an interesting read. Thanks for sharing. The image is appropriate and I will be happy to explore more of this style of writing.
Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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Thanks for the notes. I have never experienced philosophical writing, but it was an interesting read. Thanks for sharing. The image is appropriate and I will be happy to explore more of this style of writing.
Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2024
Comment from LeeAnn Kay
I really like the concept of full circling life and joy and all things in between. I think it could be altered to flow a bit better but overall, the concept itself is top tier. I really enjoyed reading.
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I really like the concept of full circling life and joy and all things in between. I think it could be altered to flow a bit better but overall, the concept itself is top tier. I really enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
Comment from Pamusart
Hi GodLicifer
I got marked down for punctuation. Somebody gave me four stars because they thought I had the wrong pronunciation, but my next line was a continuation of the line before.
I think she's going to change her rating because I 'fixed it'
I found the use a repetitive words here very effective. That's the only word I can think of that describes it.
At first, I thought you were using one of those stylized formats for poetry. One of them has you repeat one of the lines of the first stanza in the second stanza and so forth so that's what I thought it was and then I saw that it wasn't a contest and it had your name on it And I knew you wouldn't enter a contest
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
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Hi GodLicifer
I got marked down for punctuation. Somebody gave me four stars because they thought I had the wrong pronunciation, but my next line was a continuation of the line before.
I think she's going to change her rating because I 'fixed it'
I found the use a repetitive words here very effective. That's the only word I can think of that describes it.
At first, I thought you were using one of those stylized formats for poetry. One of them has you repeat one of the lines of the first stanza in the second stanza and so forth so that's what I thought it was and then I saw that it wasn't a contest and it had your name on it And I knew you wouldn't enter a contest
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
This poem beautifully explores how joy is intertwined with the essence of mankind and existence. The repetition of phrases creates a rhythmic, meditative quality that's quite thought-provoking. To make it even more engaging, maybe you could add specific imagery or examples to give the abstract concepts a more personal touch. Overall, it's a unique and reflective piece that invites deep contemplation on joy and our place in the world. Keep up the great work!
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This poem beautifully explores how joy is intertwined with the essence of mankind and existence. The repetition of phrases creates a rhythmic, meditative quality that's quite thought-provoking. To make it even more engaging, maybe you could add specific imagery or examples to give the abstract concepts a more personal touch. Overall, it's a unique and reflective piece that invites deep contemplation on joy and our place in the world. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
