Unfinished Brushstrokes
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Unfinished Brushstrokes -Chap 6"story of love, loss, new beginnings and secrets.
18 total reviews
Comment from Julie Helms
"Boss, we might have hit pay-dirt." Donatelli recognized his detective's voice.
"Whatcha got, Martinez?"
(Donatelli is incorrectly acting as a speech tag to "Boss...". Just move it to the next line, where it would be a correct speech tag:
"Boss, we might have hit pay-dirt."
Donatelli recognized his detective's voice. "Whatcha got, Martinez?")
"FBI? What -- As Michael Donatelli turned away from Trevor, he saw the man walking toward him.
(Missing end quotes)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2024
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"Boss, we might have hit pay-dirt." Donatelli recognized his detective's voice.
"Whatcha got, Martinez?"
(Donatelli is incorrectly acting as a speech tag to "Boss...". Just move it to the next line, where it would be a correct speech tag:
"Boss, we might have hit pay-dirt."
Donatelli recognized his detective's voice. "Whatcha got, Martinez?")
"FBI? What -- As Michael Donatelli turned away from Trevor, he saw the man walking toward him.
(Missing end quotes)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2024
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thanks again for catching my errors and missing punctuation. Appreciate you taking the time to catch up and all.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Garth! What a surprise. There will be two investigations going on with the FBI and the local detective. You are stunningly imaginative. I've been reading this book almost all day. Like some people, I can't skip chapter. I like to know every detail. I'm on my way, if my eyes can take it, to Chapter seven.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Garth! What a surprise. There will be two investigations going on with the FBI and the local detective. You are stunningly imaginative. I've been reading this book almost all day. Like some people, I can't skip chapter. I like to know every detail. I'm on my way, if my eyes can take it, to Chapter seven.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much, Lorraine. My readership has fallen off drastically with summer, etc. I had one other person come back today and is reading from the beginning too. I offered to summarize but he said no he didn't want to miss a word. Both you and him have mae my day!!!! Thank you!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Writing at its finest. Creating more questions and than answers, like teasing a cat with a string, making me wonder if she really is dead or not. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Writing at its finest. Creating more questions and than answers, like teasing a cat with a string, making me wonder if she really is dead or not. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Thank you...glad you are enjoying! And I can't thank you enough for taking all your time to readmy story. You are awesome.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I am wayyyy behind. I have review other people too I have a list. I am behind with the other story too. I will have to skip reviewing some. And just read them. Karen
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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I am wayyyy behind. I have review other people too I have a list. I am behind with the other story too. I will have to skip reviewing some. And just read them. Karen
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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You think you are behind...so am I. This is crazy! Thanks a lot. Have a great day!
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I will read more later.
Comment from Ulla
This is a great continuation. I know I'm behind in reading but I'm struggling to keep up. Like you, I write every day but in a language which is not my own. No excuses though, I've entered with open eyes, and I enjoy it. Now onto the next chapter. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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This is a great continuation. I know I'm behind in reading but I'm struggling to keep up. Like you, I write every day but in a language which is not my own. No excuses though, I've entered with open eyes, and I enjoy it. Now onto the next chapter. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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It must be difficult to write in a language you aren't as familiar with. I admire you! And of course, I appreciae your efforts to keep up with my story. I know I've been posting a lot...trying to catch up and knowing I don't know how to shorten a story. LOL I appreciate your efforts, thoughts and kindness.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a great chapter and I'm all out of sixes. You packed a lot of action into it including bad blood between detectives. I'm not sure why a judge is talking to Jackson, but Garth has suspicions about the judge.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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This is a great chapter and I'm all out of sixes. You packed a lot of action into it including bad blood between detectives. I'm not sure why a judge is talking to Jackson, but Garth has suspicions about the judge.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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I hope this is one of those stories that I hear "I'm all out of sixs but it is so worthy." I just want to know that the story line is the best I can give. Thank yuo so much, Carol.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I remember Garth!! Lol. I'm so pleased he's in this story. Now he has more information, and he might realise that Eleanor Bennett and CJ Grey are the same person and that Eleanor is the lady that Charles Weldon wants him to find. Only to discover she has been murdered! Well, this chapter was full of action and information, perhaps too much was given to the Judge, but not so for Garth! Things will start boiling over soon, and I can't wait. Loving this, my friend. Sorry I wasn't able to read this yesterday, but now I have two to read!! Love you lots, dear Carol xxxx
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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I remember Garth!! Lol. I'm so pleased he's in this story. Now he has more information, and he might realise that Eleanor Bennett and CJ Grey are the same person and that Eleanor is the lady that Charles Weldon wants him to find. Only to discover she has been murdered! Well, this chapter was full of action and information, perhaps too much was given to the Judge, but not so for Garth! Things will start boiling over soon, and I can't wait. Loving this, my friend. Sorry I wasn't able to read this yesterday, but now I have two to read!! Love you lots, dear Carol xxxx
Comment Written 12-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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Things are bubbling on the bck burner and a few people are going to start popping their cork. Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Love you always, Carol
Comment from tfawcus
I like the way you cut from one scene to the next and back again, also the leavening of humour. There's a lot going on here but the picture is becoming clearer as the story progresses.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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I like the way you cut from one scene to the next and back again, also the leavening of humour. There's a lot going on here but the picture is becoming clearer as the story progresses.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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Humor in a story is new to me, but I am enjoying it. As for all the twists and turns, it's been a style for my writing for awhile. Have to keep everyone on the edge of their seat, guessing what's coming next.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Garth is amazing to be able to listen to the secret conversation, sip beer, and converse with the unknown woman. That's a lot of mental juggling! I'm sure the steak is cold. But I hope somehow he is able to patch his relationship with Donatelli. They could make a great team.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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Garth is amazing to be able to listen to the secret conversation, sip beer, and converse with the unknown woman. That's a lot of mental juggling! I'm sure the steak is cold. But I hope somehow he is able to patch his relationship with Donatelli. They could make a great team.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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Of course, Garth is amazing! I'm sure his steak is cold too but I bet with one of his smiles a waitress will be more than happy to warm it up or even get him a new one.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Another strand in this chapter with the strained relationship between Donatelli and Garth. That will make for some interesting chapters! And Trevor's need for a drug high might have been his undoing. The judge sounds corrupt - andhe's learned things he shouldn't have, through this conversation. Well done. Full of action, drama, and excitement.
Wendy
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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Another strand in this chapter with the strained relationship between Donatelli and Garth. That will make for some interesting chapters! And Trevor's need for a drug high might have been his undoing. The judge sounds corrupt - andhe's learned things he shouldn't have, through this conversation. Well done. Full of action, drama, and excitement.
Wendy
Comment Written 11-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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Yes, Trevor and the Judge might have some things to share..or not! And it should be interesting to see Garth and Donatelli dance around the crime scenes.
Smiles, Carol
