2024 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 121 "Cold Morn"x
11 total reviews
Comment from RJ Heritage
Thus is so beautifully depicted and expressed. I feel as though I were there. Hopefully no one would interrupt his peaceful sleep. I like the feeling this brings.And your colors are once again very descriptive of the mood and theme.
Good luck.
RJ
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thus is so beautifully depicted and expressed. I feel as though I were there. Hopefully no one would interrupt his peaceful sleep. I like the feeling this brings.And your colors are once again very descriptive of the mood and theme.
Good luck.
RJ
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you very much, RJ
may you have a wonderful weekend
gypsy
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You're welcome
Comment from Ricky1024
A one line contest entry rich on Theme and Imagery.
Iy also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar issues.
Thanks foe sharing this and good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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A one line contest entry rich on Theme and Imagery.
Iy also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar issues.
Thanks foe sharing this and good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from Mark D. R.
Nicely written Gypsy!
From my view, it reads like a (one-line) Haiku from the FanStory Mistress of Haiku!
Thanks for your illustration tips, but I favor using FanArt for illustrations to pair with my posts.
Mark
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Nicely written Gypsy!
From my view, it reads like a (one-line) Haiku from the FanStory Mistress of Haiku!
Thanks for your illustration tips, but I favor using FanArt for illustrations to pair with my posts.
Mark
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from shelley kaye
umm what is dawn mantle?
never heard that phrase before...
other than that, a good one-liner with nice imagery of a shepherd waking to a new day of herding...
thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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umm what is dawn mantle?
never heard that phrase before...
other than that, a good one-liner with nice imagery of a shepherd waking to a new day of herding...
thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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a dawn mantle is a zen concept. It's a juxtaposition of cold morn and warm mantle. It's a word play.
dictionary:
mantle is something that covers, enfolds, or envelops
for example: ground was covered with a mantle of leaves.
Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I like the image of the cold sleeping shepherd being covered by the mantle of dawn. Your word play is perfect with this contest entry. Often when I read one word poems, my thoughts are: 'There's nothing here, just words.' Your poem does say something. Thank you for that. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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I like the image of the cold sleeping shepherd being covered by the mantle of dawn. Your word play is perfect with this contest entry. Often when I read one word poems, my thoughts are: 'There's nothing here, just words.' Your poem does say something. Thank you for that. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from Heather Knight
Hola Marival,
I've learned something new.
I didn't know Japanese haiku were only one line. I'd always assumed it was three.
This is perfect, especially the last two words.
I love the picture as well, by the way.
Muchos besos.
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Hola Marival,
I've learned something new.
I didn't know Japanese haiku were only one line. I'd always assumed it was three.
This is perfect, especially the last two words.
I love the picture as well, by the way.
Muchos besos.
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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In Japan, many poets write one line haiku. If you look at a japanese haiku painting the words go vertical... top to bottom, or horizontal .. left to right. With time it has evolved to three lines but some poets write one line.
Muchisimas gracias, guapa
Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
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Thanks for explaining. You know so much about haiku! xxx
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was such a sweet poem. I know that sounds dismissive, like saying something is cute, but I don't mean it like that. This was pure, the sleep of the shepherd, outside, exhausted yet one with nature. Beautifully written. Loved "Dawn's mantle". Gretchen
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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This was such a sweet poem. I know that sounds dismissive, like saying something is cute, but I don't mean it like that. This was pure, the sleep of the shepherd, outside, exhausted yet one with nature. Beautifully written. Loved "Dawn's mantle". Gretchen
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from EeanBlack
We talk about finding our muse, and then put parameters on our writing. I can't seem to summon a creative thought being constrained. I need to feel free to write what I feel without worrying if it is formatted correctly or punctuated correctly. When words flow naturally I write better. Dawn mantle is a great phrase. I'm loving the sun flowers at the bottom.
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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We talk about finding our muse, and then put parameters on our writing. I can't seem to summon a creative thought being constrained. I need to feel free to write what I feel without worrying if it is formatted correctly or punctuated correctly. When words flow naturally I write better. Dawn mantle is a great phrase. I'm loving the sun flowers at the bottom.
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from kahpot
This is a wonderful one-line poem, one must feel for the shepherds in those days, though some still do the same today, (braver than I am) very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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This is a wonderful one-line poem, one must feel for the shepherds in those days, though some still do the same today, (braver than I am) very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from royowen
I like the idea of being covered but the Dawn mantle, the dew perhaps and the trappings of the rising sun paint a Glorious word painting on the mind, well done Gypsy, great one line Haiku, well done, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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I like the idea of being covered but the Dawn mantle, the dew perhaps and the trappings of the rising sun paint a Glorious word painting on the mind, well done Gypsy, great one line Haiku, well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you very much~ I appreciate your excellent review. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
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Most welcome