Reviews from

2024 Gypsy's Haiku

Viewing comments for Chapter 122 "~ She Rises ~"
x

3 total reviews 
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's a great picture and she knows how to enjoy the beauty of nature and appreciates the beauty of her beloved, even if the connection is only in her dreams. Beautifully illustrated!

 Comment Written 27-May-2024

reply by the author on 28-May-2024
    Thank you very much, big sister.

    Love

    marival

reply by lyenochka on 28-May-2024
    💖💖
    Have a good sleep!
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
    I changed the second haiku, it didn't sound right.

    Thank you, you have a restful night too
Comment from RJ Heritage
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Seems very passionate to me. I hope I am seeing it correctly, but I see more than 17 syllables here. This I don't understand.Is this 17 or less syllables per stanza?
Thanks for sharing.
RJ

 Comment Written 27-May-2024

reply by the author on 28-May-2024
    Thank you very much, RJ

    Reading it again, the second haiku didn't sound right.

    All the haiku are under 17 syllables....

    she rises 3
    with sun-lo/ving cone/flow/ers7
    and a/roused roos/ters5

    she dan/ces 3
    with chilled breeze 3
    and vi/si/ble through blouse nips 7

    she dreams 2
    about tou/ching his sun/tanned skin 7
    and kiss his a/llu/ring lips7

reply by RJ Heritage on 28-May-2024
    I see tgat each lone has less than 17 syllables. What I was asking is should not the entire poem have 17 or less syllables? This is what I understood it to mean when I read your rules for the Senryu?
    RJ
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
    Do you mean the three senryu treated as one? No, the 17 syllables is treated as one complete senryu.. it's called a senryu suite. They share the theme.
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
    CONTEMPORARY SENRYU is a Japanese short unrhymed poem that uses imagistic language to express the essence of a deeply felt moment in time. Unlike Haiku, senryu is about human nature and doesn't need a season word. [[[[[ It's written in 17 syllables OR LESS and three lines]]]]]]. For Senryu you don't need a season word (Kigo). Classical senryu was humorous and sarcastic. With time, it has developed into a loser form with any theme.

    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my poems.
Comment from shelley kaye
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

sun-loving -- i think this should be hyphenated

other than that a great senryu suite with vivid imagery and cool pics.

thank you for sharing
shelley :)

 Comment Written 27-May-2024

reply by the author on 27-May-2024
    thank you very much, Shelley

    gypsy