View from Land
Two friends on a beach come face to face with a dead man21 total reviews
Comment from GoWiSt
"Two friends on a beach come face to face with a dead man" Oh, how so romantic.
"then watch the sun put on his crown" Good use of personification.
"He wasn't watching any more" Had the captain been a peeping Tom, spying on the girlfriends from his boat?
Good reading flow and abab rhyme scheme to the quatrains.
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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"Two friends on a beach come face to face with a dead man" Oh, how so romantic.
"then watch the sun put on his crown" Good use of personification.
"He wasn't watching any more" Had the captain been a peeping Tom, spying on the girlfriends from his boat?
Good reading flow and abab rhyme scheme to the quatrains.
Comment Written 25-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Hi. Is your name Gretchen? Or is that gansach?
I was curious why you asked if he was a peeping Tom. In the whole second stanza he was watching things. At the end, he wasn?t watching anymore
Thanks for the great review
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Oh dear, did I go and put my foot in it? So sorry, I've been intellectually under the weather lately.
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lol. You made me laugh. Thanks. Are you Gretchen?
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No. But if you want me to be, then sure. :-)
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lol. I really like you!! You are too funny.
Comment from Boogienights
I would be quite tramatized if l saw something like that. Great use of imagery to set the scene and describing the sailor in life, made me feel even more sorry for him.
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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I would be quite tramatized if l saw something like that. Great use of imagery to set the scene and describing the sailor in life, made me feel even more sorry for him.
Comment Written 25-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you, Boogienights for a great review
Comment from jake cosmos aller
a nice gothic-style poem about encountering death washed up on a beach I like how it ends with a slight twist and I like the mysterious feeling throughout the poem.
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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a nice gothic-style poem about encountering death washed up on a beach I like how it ends with a slight twist and I like the mysterious feeling throughout the poem.
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you, Jake for a great reviewI?m
Comment from GWHARGIS
Yikes!! This was a very cool poem in the fact that you spoke of the life of the sea captain. You paid homage to his life, character and even gave us a glimpse at him and his pipe. Then the friends find him washed up on shore. Just a dead body. That would definitely be a haunting and unforgettable sight to see. Gretchen
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Yikes!! This was a very cool poem in the fact that you spoke of the life of the sea captain. You paid homage to his life, character and even gave us a glimpse at him and his pipe. Then the friends find him washed up on shore. Just a dead body. That would definitely be a haunting and unforgettable sight to see. Gretchen
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you Gretchen for your wonderful comments and great review
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, View from Land, presented with five ABAB-rhymed quatrains, marks the day that the well-regarded salt sailed his last day and died on the brine as he may have wanted.
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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This poem, View from Land, presented with five ABAB-rhymed quatrains, marks the day that the well-regarded salt sailed his last day and died on the brine as he may have wanted.
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you, Bill for a great review
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting story in a poem with an ending that leaves questions unanswered. "Of cause of death there's not a hint" being one of them.
Finding a dead body would be a shocking discovery to make just sitting on a beach.
Clear images as the poem unfolds.
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Interesting story in a poem with an ending that leaves questions unanswered. "Of cause of death there's not a hint" being one of them.
Finding a dead body would be a shocking discovery to make just sitting on a beach.
Clear images as the poem unfolds.
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you, Brett for your wonderful comments and great review
Comment from Wendy G
It would seem unlikely to be a natural death, and it would be quite traumatic for some young people to see a body wash up. The vacant stare in the eyes would be very unnnerving. Well written. A pity about not being able to upload your own artwork though.
Wendy
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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It would seem unlikely to be a natural death, and it would be quite traumatic for some young people to see a body wash up. The vacant stare in the eyes would be very unnnerving. Well written. A pity about not being able to upload your own artwork though.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you, Wendy for wonderful comments and a great review
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a vivid scene you capture here, Pam! One minute the captain is smoking his pipe and watching the sunset, the next his life is over so brutally. And perhaps the sea is a metaphor for life in general and how each one of us gets washed up eventually (or am I getting a bit deep now?) I love the story conveyed so succinctly and the ending which is hauntingly memorable. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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This is a vivid scene you capture here, Pam! One minute the captain is smoking his pipe and watching the sunset, the next his life is over so brutally. And perhaps the sea is a metaphor for life in general and how each one of us gets washed up eventually (or am I getting a bit deep now?) I love the story conveyed so succinctly and the ending which is hauntingly memorable. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 23-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you, Debbie for wonderful comments and a great review. I still intend to nominate you for the viewing contest once I get my votes back at the beginning of next month.
Comment from karenina
Egads... I love the shore, but this would put me off it for a good long time! Great tale presented in verse and rhyme, Pam. (I couldn't find "tampened" in my dictionary ~ it's likely a variation of "tamped" that I've not encountered before. I'm sorry your artwork wouldn't upload! Imagining the captain's body on the beach is effective enough, though!
Karenina
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Egads... I love the shore, but this would put me off it for a good long time! Great tale presented in verse and rhyme, Pam. (I couldn't find "tampened" in my dictionary ~ it's likely a variation of "tamped" that I've not encountered before. I'm sorry your artwork wouldn't upload! Imagining the captain's body on the beach is effective enough, though!
Karenina
Comment Written 23-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Hey, karenina.
Thank you for the wonderful comments and the great view
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You're welcome!
:)
Comment from royowen
It would be a great shock to see a dead body washed to shore, for two young people, particularly fo those that haven't seen one before, beautifully written Pam, your flow and theme, and your rhyming ate excellent, with great language too, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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It would be a great shock to see a dead body washed to shore, for two young people, particularly fo those that haven't seen one before, beautifully written Pam, your flow and theme, and your rhyming ate excellent, with great language too, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you Roy. Your compliments mean a lot to me considering that you?re a great poet
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Thank you