The Interloper
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Early Years Part 2"a family sage told by the ignored one
4 total reviews
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
Her hair was up in a bun with curled tendrils on each side of her face. In front of the bun was a tiara to match her earrings and bracelet.
Nice use of imagery here and throughout the story.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Her hair was up in a bun with curled tendrils on each side of her face. In front of the bun was a tiara to match her earrings and bracelet.
Nice use of imagery here and throughout the story.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thanks for the nice review and generous rating, Nicole.
Joan
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was what it was like back then, the daughters were 'sold' to the richest suitor. How horrid that must have been. This was really well written, the imagery of the rooms put as there. I'm really enjoying this story, Joan, I'll read more tomorrow. Excellent. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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That was what it was like back then, the daughters were 'sold' to the richest suitor. How horrid that must have been. This was really well written, the imagery of the rooms put as there. I'm really enjoying this story, Joan, I'll read more tomorrow. Excellent. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Hi Sandra.
I am so glad you are enjoying it. I respect you opinion since you have been writing novels for a long time.
Joan
Comment from Esther Brown
Seems like Victorian times. So glad we can pick our own spouses now, but not sure we do much better. Two fixes. Ignited animosity. The second one "than the Aggie liked" I think would work better if you made it into two sentences. Thanks for sharing the story. Esther
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Seems like Victorian times. So glad we can pick our own spouses now, but not sure we do much better. Two fixes. Ignited animosity. The second one "than the Aggie liked" I think would work better if you made it into two sentences. Thanks for sharing the story. Esther
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thanks, Esther for continuing to read. I appreciate your consturctive criticism.
Joan
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Two suggestions to begin. First, the font needs to be larger, and I think you know that for old codgers to read, comment and review and second the ending sentence feels awkward.
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Two suggestions to begin. First, the font needs to be larger, and I think you know that for old codgers to read, comment and review and second the ending sentence feels awkward.
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thanks for continuing to read. This is the default font from the site's regular editor. I will work on the last sentence.
Joan
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Hmm.?! I never had a problem editing font style and size. So, I don't understand. Like POTLATCH has one size fits all or whatever the organized challenge is?
