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Right in the Eye

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Right in the Eye, ch 21"
The adventures and reaches of people with a divine

9 total reviews 
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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Well, I can understand why Fisher wanted to be so "cooperative" with the local law enforcement by all the apparent anomalies of this case.

This was another interesting chapter with plenty of excitement for this "over-the-hill" gang. Seems like the story is winding down now, as I'm not sure how much more these old coots will be able to stand. I think they've all earned a nice, relaxing retirement.

 Comment Written 10-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    Thank you.
    3 more chapters, with a twist or two.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
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Ben and Sylvia and Benji make a good team:-) And the mob is interested in these old geezers? Makes us old geezers look important!

That last line though - "stirring his personal honeypot" - I'm leery of that. Is Albion on the take, I'm wondering, if it's his honeypot.

But then, I'm always looking for the message behind the message.

Take care,
xo
Pam

 Comment Written 10-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    And well that you do (look behind the message) smiley face here
    Thank you for letting me know that it wasn't too obscure.
reply by Pam Lonsdale on 10-May-2024
    The word honey pot seemed odd, unless . . .

    Thanks for the reviewing vote. Smiley face here.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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I just love the way you come up with your characters and the names you give them. Making me think back to Red Skelton's Clem Kadiddlehopper, and now, you're talking about Curtis Jackson. And although not everyone will recognize the name, I immediately connected the name with notorious thug, rapper, actor, and writer, 50-Cent, the moniker for Curtis Jackson III. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 09-May-2024


reply by the author on 09-May-2024
    smiley face here
    Thank you!
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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God is watching over them, nit that the mob realises it. The authorities are doubtless perplexed when trying to connect the dots about all those past experiences of God at work.
Wendy

 Comment Written 09-May-2024


reply by the author on 09-May-2024
    Yes!
    Thank you for your great review.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Well, it is a good idea to bring in the FBI and the Trooper to retell the story from their perspective as it includes information that Ben Paul wouldn't know and certainly Slim wouldn't know. It's getting to be quite a circuitous journey in this tale!

 Comment Written 09-May-2024


reply by the author on 09-May-2024
    Thank you. I hope I can tie it up - the circuitous journey.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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The truth is just too much for the FBI. Not wanting to be embarrassed they creep out of the picture where a 120-year-old man is concerned. Regardless of what they want, this case obviously isn't going to disappear. God seems to be making it possible that Sylvia won't get into trouble for shooting someone, they just die. There is one word you might want to correct: yards (from) the house.

 Comment Written 08-May-2024


reply by the author on 09-May-2024
    Thank you for your great review.
    I checked it. A distance 'of' a place is a colloquialism. It means the same as 'from'. "He came within a whisker of making it home." "He parked short of the store." "They stood a mile of the house."
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent
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Each chapter is of consistently high quality. It will be quite interesting to see what Detective Albion does with Slim's case. I'm sure there will be many surprises. One very small concern:
"For the first few days Ben and Sylvia, resolving never to allow the other one"...should it be "resolved"?

 Comment Written 08-May-2024


reply by the author on 08-May-2024
    Yes, you are correctomundo!
    Thank you.
    And thank you for the great review.
reply by jim vecchio on 09-May-2024
    I make so many typos, I find it a little easier to spot now.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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This is an excellent chapter. You are moving the story along nicely. I look forward to the next chapter. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 08-May-2024


reply by the author on 08-May-2024
    Thank you very much.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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It must be interesting for these detectives to have old people, almost getting around like seemingly younger men, or women, 120 is Moses age when he saw the promised land, from a distance, because of his anger, but we'll see him again. A wonderful post Wayne, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 08-May-2024


reply by the author on 08-May-2024
    Thank you. I appreciate the very kind review.
reply by royowen on 08-May-2024
    Well done