Reviews from

In this moment

Growing with anxiety

7 total reviews 
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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Welcome to the site, Allison.
This is a a good free verse poem that seems to be about a panic attack starting to happen or just fear of doing something unknown but in the end knowing it is the right thing to do, Is that long line in the middle supposed to be the break between the bad and good feelings?
Wow, it is great to tie for third with your first poem. Congrats.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a great day.
Joan

 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 20-May-2024
    Thank you for you wonderful review. Yes, the long sentence in the middle is the break between my panic overwhelming me and me realizing that I've become so familiar with the feeling I need to learn to accept that it's part of me. I hope that makes sense.
reply by dragonpoet on 21-May-2024
    You're welcome, Allison. Yes, it makes sense.
    Joan
Comment from juliaSjames
Excellent
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Welcome to Fanstory and congratulations on placing in the contest. Before reviewing your poem I would like to mention that when you have time you might like to explore the site. Just follow the drop down menus. Have fun!

So now to review

I think this is an excellent piece of writing which seems to be personal because you inhabit the write. Great use of imagery " blocks of concrete on my feet" is so vivid, jumps out at me.

You describe panic but there is courage and resilience in this write as well. It's multi faceted


Presentation wise black against dark grey is a little hard to decipher. I'm sure you'll figure all these aspects out in due course


Blessings, Julia

 Comment Written 10-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    Thank you for your wonderful review and the constructive feedback. I honestly am trying to figure out the site and editing. That is not an artistic choice I remember intentionally making. Thank you for bringing it up! This was a very personal piece. And I have discovered that writing has been an amazing creative outlet for me!
reply by juliaSjames on 10-May-2024
    Hi Allison, I received helpful advice when I joined. Most of my original friends have moved on but new ones have taken their place. If you have any questions, either ask Tom the administrator by using the contact button or ask the community by using profile thoughts - replies will be in the forum you can access in the drop down menu under the Community tab.

    Blessings, Julia
Comment from kahpot
Excellent
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Welcome to FS. what a very powerful read, and description of anxiety, the way the very thing that affects you also grounds you, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot

 Comment Written 06-May-2024


reply by the author on 06-May-2024
    Thank you so much for your feedback!
Comment from EeanBlack
Excellent
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Static is like sometimes, but not necessarily complete stasis. Movement of mind and soul are inevitable. I think you are going to do well on this site. they have all been very accommodating. I love it here and I love your poem. Great start.

 Comment Written 06-May-2024


reply by the author on 06-May-2024
    Thank you. I was really excited to find this site. I have been given such a wonderful welcome.
reply by EeanBlack on 07-May-2024
    Good luck.
Comment from Mark Jackson
Excellent
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A very nice poem and a very good first post. Welcome to the site and I wish you all the best, and please share more of your writing. Good strong metaphors in there. I did notice one slight absence. You need another apostrophe on the penultimate line.

 Comment Written 06-May-2024


reply by the author on 06-May-2024
    Thank you so much for your feed back! I've never written before. I'm a little embarrassed because where is the penultimate line?
reply by Mark Jackson on 07-May-2024
    2nd to last
Comment from bob cullen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Gee, you're good. This poem demanded I keep reading. It contains power, doubt, determination and desire. The desire to confront. I'm not sure what's driving you, but as I said in those first three words, you're good. Keep writing. A bloody brilliant first post.

 Comment Written 05-May-2024


reply by the author on 06-May-2024
    You are so kind, thank you for the encouragement and kind words. This was a very emotional start to writing for me!
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Excellent
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Excellent entry for the Emotions Poetry Contest and a very nice first post. Welcome to Fanstory! I believe I can tell a panic attack when I read about one. Accurate descriptions. Nicely written. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-May-2024


reply by the author on 06-May-2024
    Thank you! I just went my first day in weeks without having a panic attack! It's a surreal feeling. Almost like I forgot to do a chore. I don't even know how to describe it. I appreciate your feed back
reply by Marilyn Hamilton on 07-May-2024
    That's awesome. I hope you have another day without one tomorrow. One day at a time.