Wild Life on the Lam
A news flash from April 8th28 total reviews
Comment from EeanBlack
I'm not brave or young and I know a certain woman who would say I'm not much of a man lol. Oh, the backspace button broke so I'll just leave that in. This was funny.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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I'm not brave or young and I know a certain woman who would say I'm not much of a man lol. Oh, the backspace button broke so I'll just leave that in. This was funny.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the review. I'm glad you got a laugh from this.
Beth
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Needed one. Got one.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Okay, this is funny; I don't care who you are. Imagine that men that areready to brave the "Horror" woods of Louisiana to find the naked woman with the axe. Did everyone forget the homeless man? Karen
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
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Okay, this is funny; I don't care who you are. Imagine that men that areready to brave the "Horror" woods of Louisiana to find the naked woman with the axe. Did everyone forget the homeless man? Karen
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
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Maybe he didn't actually want to be rescued. Maybe he was enjoying his stay in the woods. Thanks for the review.
Beth
Comment from mermaids
Quite an interesting tale here. A naked lady with an axe in the woods almost sounds like a bizarre horror story but in today's world anything is possible. You have a unique flash fiction story.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
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Quite an interesting tale here. A naked lady with an axe in the woods almost sounds like a bizarre horror story but in today's world anything is possible. You have a unique flash fiction story.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for this review. This one gives me that number which what I always hope to get, so I especially pleased with this one.
Beth.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. This is hilarious. Well, the nudist lady could be considered part of the wildlife and we know that all the animals were rather confused by the eclipse. I hope no one goes looking for her. Sounds like she's pretty serious about not being disturbed. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
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Lol. This is hilarious. Well, the nudist lady could be considered part of the wildlife and we know that all the animals were rather confused by the eclipse. I hope no one goes looking for her. Sounds like she's pretty serious about not being disturbed. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
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Thank you, I thought it was very funny. Her actions were likely being affected by the full moon. The next news story to heard said she was picked up and her ax confiscated. It wasn't the first time she'd been arrested for wearing no clothes in public.
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Thank you, I thought it was very funny. Her actions were likely being affected by the full moon. The next news story to heard said she was picked up and her ax confiscated. It wasn't the first time she'd been arrested for wearing no clothes in public.
Comment from bob cullen
I love the irreverence of the write. I feel it is my duty as a Poet to offer this explanation. Apologies in advance.
She was a poor young lady, lived in a colony where no one wore clothes.
She always wondered why the boys never commented on her big nose.
Someone suggested their eyes were drawn to features down below
Perhaps it was 'cause of the color of her bright hair on show.
She always held the attention of every male spectator there
But few eyes ever got beyond what attracted all boy's stares.
It was way above the knees an' a bit below her neck,
They bounced 'round in rhythm like a rubber ball on a ship's deck.
Age brought with it, that sad decline a thing called gravity.
The rhythm lost its vitality as they swayed from neck to knee.
And so, ended the desire of all men to stare an' grope an' see
Guilt kinda hit me hard, 'twas a mirror, the guy I saw was me.
I weren't no science graduate or all that smart at school
But I was like most other boys and these things made me drool
They were big an' round now hangin' down, lost much of their appeal
That's when I chose to join the Navy an' become a Navy Seal
Dress designers created an item to ensure things stayed in place,
Before boys started looking for personality an' prettiness of face.
And things got even better when accompanied by an inviting smile,
An' boys stared with open mouths, lacking in grace or any hint of style.
And then if Dad was rich and she drove a new and flashy car,
That almost counted for as much as no padding in her bra.
An' I was considered boring, and I rarely had much cash,
When it came to sportsmanship, I never wore a winner's sash.
But somehow, I survived, struggled in the middle of my class,
Worked every weekend by cutting my old neighbor's grass.
And then in my final year, I topped the grades in every class.
But when it came to girls, I was terrified, just a dumb smart arse.
But finally, I have grown up, I'm now near on forty years of age,
And I've read all the rules of life, studied each an' ev'ry page.
In that time, I've also discovered the futility of fight an' rage,
An' I know the Good Lord's rule, you must pay a man a fare wage.
Lastly, there's one final thing I learned, God's greatest gift remains,
When old age arrives on the scene it's the one thing that sustains.
Along with the memories of all the things we've done an' shared,
A hot body's a temp'ry gift, not as good as having friends who cared.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
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I love the irreverence of the write. I feel it is my duty as a Poet to offer this explanation. Apologies in advance.
She was a poor young lady, lived in a colony where no one wore clothes.
She always wondered why the boys never commented on her big nose.
Someone suggested their eyes were drawn to features down below
Perhaps it was 'cause of the color of her bright hair on show.
She always held the attention of every male spectator there
But few eyes ever got beyond what attracted all boy's stares.
It was way above the knees an' a bit below her neck,
They bounced 'round in rhythm like a rubber ball on a ship's deck.
Age brought with it, that sad decline a thing called gravity.
The rhythm lost its vitality as they swayed from neck to knee.
And so, ended the desire of all men to stare an' grope an' see
Guilt kinda hit me hard, 'twas a mirror, the guy I saw was me.
I weren't no science graduate or all that smart at school
But I was like most other boys and these things made me drool
They were big an' round now hangin' down, lost much of their appeal
That's when I chose to join the Navy an' become a Navy Seal
Dress designers created an item to ensure things stayed in place,
Before boys started looking for personality an' prettiness of face.
And things got even better when accompanied by an inviting smile,
An' boys stared with open mouths, lacking in grace or any hint of style.
And then if Dad was rich and she drove a new and flashy car,
That almost counted for as much as no padding in her bra.
An' I was considered boring, and I rarely had much cash,
When it came to sportsmanship, I never wore a winner's sash.
But somehow, I survived, struggled in the middle of my class,
Worked every weekend by cutting my old neighbor's grass.
And then in my final year, I topped the grades in every class.
But when it came to girls, I was terrified, just a dumb smart arse.
But finally, I have grown up, I'm now near on forty years of age,
And I've read all the rules of life, studied each an' ev'ry page.
In that time, I've also discovered the futility of fight an' rage,
An' I know the Good Lord's rule, you must pay a man a fare wage.
Lastly, there's one final thing I learned, God's greatest gift remains,
When old age arrives on the scene it's the one thing that sustains.
Along with the memories of all the things we've done an' shared,
A hot body's a temp'ry gift, not as good as having friends who cared.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
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LOL, Thanks for the review and writing the long poem that possibly explainedf what this was really about. You need to post it and let others review it.
Beth
Comment from Liz O'Neill
It's wonderful how you took this news flash and gave it life. The way you described it we could picture it all happening. " only to be chased from the woods by a naked lady wielding a rusty axe." you're right You can't make this stuff up. It could be good father for a story though you know changing the facts abit. We know the word for moon is Luna, and a person who is stirred by the moon is a lunatic or monster.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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It's wonderful how you took this news flash and gave it life. The way you described it we could picture it all happening. " only to be chased from the woods by a naked lady wielding a rusty axe." you're right You can't make this stuff up. It could be good father for a story though you know changing the facts abit. We know the word for moon is Luna, and a person who is stirred by the moon is a lunatic or monster.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thank you Liz. The full moon was likely causing her to chase men with an ax. I learned to day she was picked up for running around with no clothes on but I think this was the first time she was chasing someone with an ax.
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You recorded this well
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I'll have to avoid Slidell, since I wouldn't want to run across a named women swinging an ax. There isn't anything that would surprise me much in that area. I can tell a few crazy stories about the area myself. Not the nudist colony. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Well, I'll have to avoid Slidell, since I wouldn't want to run across a named women swinging an ax. There isn't anything that would surprise me much in that area. I can tell a few crazy stories about the area myself. Not the nudist colony. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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I found out this morning she was arrested and not for the first time. She never wears clothes but it might have been the first time she was seen swinging an ax. People in Slidell are very different New Orleans. Not that New Orleans isn't wild and crazy too, but Slidell is regular southern crazy.
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I agree with you, crazy as New Orleans can be, soon as you get outside the city or in towns like Slidell, the real crazy seems to come out. :-)
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, I love the multitude of men willing to join in the search for the naked lady with the rusty axe, which suggests that the axe hasn't been used for awhile. Well done Beth, good story, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Heh heh, I love the multitude of men willing to join in the search for the naked lady with the rusty axe, which suggests that the axe hasn't been used for awhile. Well done Beth, good story, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thank you Roy. I appreciate the review and comments.
Beth
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Well done
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Most welcome
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Beth,
This starts out as a positive human interest story. It does sound made up to me. But if it is true these men are probably just interested in seeing a naked lady than finding her. And we never find out if anyone ever helped the homeless man. It is a well written flash possible fiction. If it is a true story than it is not fiction.
Joan
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hi Beth,
This starts out as a positive human interest story. It does sound made up to me. But if it is true these men are probably just interested in seeing a naked lady than finding her. And we never find out if anyone ever helped the homeless man. It is a well written flash possible fiction. If it is a true story than it is not fiction.
Joan
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thank you Joan it is true, so if FanStory wishing to disqualify it that is fine. I checked on the the story this morning and the woman has been identified and arrested but apparently she has been arrested several times before because she never wears clothes. They took the ax and showed a picture of it on television. They apparently don't think she is crazy, just exercizing her freedom of choice.
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You're welcome, Beth. I think she may be a little crazy if she carries around and axe. But maybe that is her weapon of choice if any man tries to take advantage of her nakedness.
Joan
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Oh my goodness they may be brave or possibly desperate. This story will surely gain attention and it is written with also a perfect accompanying image, Beth. Well written.
Best wishes
Alex
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Oh my goodness they may be brave or possibly desperate. This story will surely gain attention and it is written with also a perfect accompanying image, Beth. Well written.
Best wishes
Alex
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thank you Alex. I think the lady was being affected by the full moon but I learned today the cops picked her up and she been picked up before for not wearing clothes.
Beth
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Oh my goodness. ha
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And you're welcome.