Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Hades"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
21 total reviews
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
I can't review this properly because I didn't really read it very well. I know that it is wonderful, but my eyes are burning so badly from my trying to do thank you's, but I wanted to congratulate you on the placing in the book of the month. I am so happy for you, and wanted to do something to let you know that even though I couldn't read it well and wouldn't understand right in the middle, I know it is wonderful. So that is my review and my Congrats for doing so well in the month contest and to say thanks too for always being there for me. Love you dearly!! Debi
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
  |
I can't review this properly because I didn't really read it very well. I know that it is wonderful, but my eyes are burning so badly from my trying to do thank you's, but I wanted to congratulate you on the placing in the book of the month. I am so happy for you, and wanted to do something to let you know that even though I couldn't read it well and wouldn't understand right in the middle, I know it is wonderful. So that is my review and my Congrats for doing so well in the month contest and to say thanks too for always being there for me. Love you dearly!! Debi
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
-
Awwww, Debi, this is so sweet of you to review this chapter, and to bless me with six stars!!! You're a dear. Thank you for your support. You've brought tears to my eyes, sweetie!!! Sally and I ended up right behind each other.
I pray for you and your eyes every day, just like I do Sally's. You're such an inspiration!!! I can't tell you how much this has meant to me to see you pop in on my story. Once summer vacation gets here, I'll try to post more short stories and a smattering of poems.
Kylie and I sent you some pictures earlier. I hope they bless your heart.
Love you much,
Rhonda
-
I just sent you a reply. And there is something for Kylie for in the morning.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, I,very been waiting to be able to give you a six star and here it is. It's a wonderful chapter, and I'm fascinated how you spin this story. Hades is just so confident that Echo will marry him and maybe she will. I'll have to wait and see. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
|
Hi Rhonda, I,very been waiting to be able to give you a six star and here it is. It's a wonderful chapter, and I'm fascinated how you spin this story. Hades is just so confident that Echo will marry him and maybe she will. I'll have to wait and see. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
-
Ulla y, thank you for the beautiful 6 stars, my friend! I appreciate your comments as well.
Hades is very confident, perhaps too much?
Hugs,
Rhonda
-
Ulla y, thank you for the beautiful 6 stars, my friend! I appreciate your comments as well.
Hades is very confident, perhaps too much?
Hugs,
Rhonda
-
I certainly hope so! :))
-
Ulla y, thank you for the beautiful 6 stars, my friend! I appreciate your comments as well.
Hades is very confident, perhaps too much?
Hugs,
Rhonda
-
Ulla y, thank you for the beautiful 6 stars, my friend! I appreciate your comments as well.
Hades is very confident, perhaps too much?
Hugs,
Rhonda
-
Ulla y, thank you for the beautiful 6 stars, my friend! I appreciate your comments as well.
Hades is very confident, perhaps too much?
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from BethShelby
This is an interesting twist. I didn't know her fate was to become imortal and marry one of the 12 immortals. How did such an honor come to a mere mortal. At least, he wants to use her for an excuse to fight Theo for her, so I assume she will be allowed to go back. I'm wonder how her horse can help an how knowing his name is important.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
 |
This is an interesting twist. I didn't know her fate was to become imortal and marry one of the 12 immortals. How did such an honor come to a mere mortal. At least, he wants to use her for an excuse to fight Theo for her, so I assume she will be allowed to go back. I'm wonder how her horse can help an how knowing his name is important.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
-
Thank you so much for the lively review, Beth. The honor is great for Echo, or at least that?s what Hades hopes to impart.
Take care,
Rhonda
-
Thank you so much for the lively review, Beth. The honor is great for Echo, or at least that?s what Hades hopes to impart.
Take care,
Rhonda
-
Thank you so much for the lively review, Beth. The honor is great for Echo, or at least that?s what Hades hopes to impart.
Take care,
Rhonda
-
Thank you so much for the lively review, Beth. The honor is great for Echo, or at least that?s what Hades hopes to impart.
Take care,
Rhonda
-
Thank you so much for the lively review, Beth. The honor is great for Echo, or at least that?s what Hades hopes to impart.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I had to wait until today to review you as I had to give this a six. What a fabulous chapter, Rhonda! You really do have a huge talent for story telling. I'm thinking Echo needs Phillip to return fast, or she will be taken back with Hades, for goodness knows what more trouble she'll have to get out of. I really can't see Echo married to that man, but .... he is gorgeous, isn't he? I might have succumbed to that amazing body and eyes he has. Lol. I have no morals! This was brilliant, my friend, well done a worthy six stars. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
|
I had to wait until today to review you as I had to give this a six. What a fabulous chapter, Rhonda! You really do have a huge talent for story telling. I'm thinking Echo needs Phillip to return fast, or she will be taken back with Hades, for goodness knows what more trouble she'll have to get out of. I really can't see Echo married to that man, but .... he is gorgeous, isn't he? I might have succumbed to that amazing body and eyes he has. Lol. I have no morals! This was brilliant, my friend, well done a worthy six stars. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
-
Hi Sandra, thank you so much for the beautiful six stars, my friend! I appreciate your comments. Hades is pretty gorgeous, lol, and definitely has a certain charm, though I?m not sure Echo will completely buy in.
Thank you for waiting to review!
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Sorry it took me so long to review your story, but it has been hectic around here. This chapter is great. It had me sitting on the edge of my chair hoping she would get away. I look forward to the next addition.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
|
Sorry it took me so long to review your story, but it has been hectic around here. This chapter is great. It had me sitting on the edge of my chair hoping she would get away. I look forward to the next addition.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
-
Hi, and thank you so much for the review. I get behind easily, too.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
Another marvelous chapter.
I never pictured Hades as the handsome, dark figure seen in the picture.
But he is a compelling god, one not to be taken lightly.
And now we know what Echo's destiny is, at least if the prophesy is correct.
An immortal to sit with her husband on Mount Olympus. Perhaps even more powerful than her husband, who knows. :)
So someone has to defeat Hades. Maybe Theo with the help of Thanatos, or maybe Echo herself. Wouldn't that be nice.
Well done.
Best wishes to all
Robert
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
|
Hello Rhonda,
Another marvelous chapter.
I never pictured Hades as the handsome, dark figure seen in the picture.
But he is a compelling god, one not to be taken lightly.
And now we know what Echo's destiny is, at least if the prophesy is correct.
An immortal to sit with her husband on Mount Olympus. Perhaps even more powerful than her husband, who knows. :)
So someone has to defeat Hades. Maybe Theo with the help of Thanatos, or maybe Echo herself. Wouldn't that be nice.
Well done.
Best wishes to all
Robert
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
-
Hi Robert,
Thank you so much for the six stars and for the wonderful review.
Yes, I made Hades look like I would have imagined his character to be back in the day. He was one of the Greek gods, so would have fallen into character with how the rest were perceived, plus, he had lots of influence, and those type tend to be more charismatic than straight up evil looking.
We do know Echo's destiny, even if through the filter of one who is not known for being completely honest.
All the above on the defeat, lol.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
A very good chapter, Rhonda, and I am glad Hannah is now safe and Philip had rescued her. You set the chapter up very well describing the chaos that is taking place. But Hannah had her wits about her enough to reveal Echo's Horse name. She did a good job stalling so Philip and Hannah could get out of the cave.
You do a good job with Hades' character and persuasive nature, but Echo isn't going to give in so easily even if his voice is appealing. She has to be on her guard to ward off any kind of physical pull from him, as well. He definitely knows how to manipulate people and play on their feelings, as well as using the people they care about against them.
The final section of the chapter is also very good as the verbal battle continues between Hades and Echo. She holds her own for now, and something clicked when she thought about there being someone even the gods feared. It will be interesting to see where things go from here, but I'm betting on Echo and Theo. Well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
|
A very good chapter, Rhonda, and I am glad Hannah is now safe and Philip had rescued her. You set the chapter up very well describing the chaos that is taking place. But Hannah had her wits about her enough to reveal Echo's Horse name. She did a good job stalling so Philip and Hannah could get out of the cave.
You do a good job with Hades' character and persuasive nature, but Echo isn't going to give in so easily even if his voice is appealing. She has to be on her guard to ward off any kind of physical pull from him, as well. He definitely knows how to manipulate people and play on their feelings, as well as using the people they care about against them.
The final section of the chapter is also very good as the verbal battle continues between Hades and Echo. She holds her own for now, and something clicked when she thought about there being someone even the gods feared. It will be interesting to see where things go from here, but I'm betting on Echo and Theo. Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
-
Hi Pam,
Thank you for the review and for details regarding each section. You were very good at getting to the heart of matters. You are my dark monitor. How?s it standing with this chapter?
Thank you so much,
Rhonda
-
You are very welcome, Rhonda, and I appreciate your reply. I didn't know I was your "dark monitor." Monitor reading for this chapter was perfectly fine. You're doing a great job.
-
Well, you usually let me know if is getting too dark, lol.
Thank you for sharing you always bring to the table!
-
You are right about the first comment, and
you are very welcome on both counts. Have a great day and weekend, too😊
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I may have missed too many chapters to keep up, but the story moves well with no errors that I can detect. Keep up the good work.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
|
I may have missed too many chapters to keep up, but the story moves well with no errors that I can detect. Keep up the good work.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
-
Hi Wayne. I?m glad you popped back in. I know I?ve been awhile, but it?s helpful to get your perspective.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Faith Williams
Wow, Rhonda, what a twist! I certainly didn't imagine Hades wanting to marry Echo. Love the other animals pitching in to save Hannah. And Hades--I can see him strutting around. Great job!
Suggestions to consider:
'As a unified group, they (took off) down the main tunnel.' Maybe switch to a stronger verb here: rushed, raced, dashed, bounded, sped, scampered.
'Before they got far, they were stopped by a thundering voice.' I suggest switching the second half of the sentence from active to passive, 'a thundering voice stopped them.'
'Phillip shook his head, no.' I think you can delete 'no' as it's implied with 'shook'.
"You have to," she said. "Please get Hannah out of here. I can't break free." I think this part falls a little flat. The easiest way is to switch out the dialogue tag (not a normal suggestion for me, but it is warranted here): pleaded, implored, begged. Another is to add some narration. (Also, you wrote Echo could barely move, but was it her entire body or just her legs? I wasn't entirely sure.)
Echo didn't know what prompted Hannah to (go against) the rules of her culture to reveal the horse name... ' Maybe switch out for a stronger verb: defied, broke, ignored, disregarded.
'Echo turned and glared defiantly at the dark god.' I'm a little confused here since I thought Echo couldn't move. Did the bellow break the spell?
Since it didn't go that way, I had to set up another strategy (to get you in). I find this part of the sentence a bit awkward though I'm not sure why. Maybe 'to bring you in' or 'to induce you'?
"No..." For that elongated sound, 'No-o-o"
Hades must have left out part of the prophecy. I mean, he's already one of the 12, so what does he gain by marrying Echo? I am intrigued. Anticipating the next chapter!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
|
Wow, Rhonda, what a twist! I certainly didn't imagine Hades wanting to marry Echo. Love the other animals pitching in to save Hannah. And Hades--I can see him strutting around. Great job!
Suggestions to consider:
'As a unified group, they (took off) down the main tunnel.' Maybe switch to a stronger verb here: rushed, raced, dashed, bounded, sped, scampered.
'Before they got far, they were stopped by a thundering voice.' I suggest switching the second half of the sentence from active to passive, 'a thundering voice stopped them.'
'Phillip shook his head, no.' I think you can delete 'no' as it's implied with 'shook'.
"You have to," she said. "Please get Hannah out of here. I can't break free." I think this part falls a little flat. The easiest way is to switch out the dialogue tag (not a normal suggestion for me, but it is warranted here): pleaded, implored, begged. Another is to add some narration. (Also, you wrote Echo could barely move, but was it her entire body or just her legs? I wasn't entirely sure.)
Echo didn't know what prompted Hannah to (go against) the rules of her culture to reveal the horse name... ' Maybe switch out for a stronger verb: defied, broke, ignored, disregarded.
'Echo turned and glared defiantly at the dark god.' I'm a little confused here since I thought Echo couldn't move. Did the bellow break the spell?
Since it didn't go that way, I had to set up another strategy (to get you in). I find this part of the sentence a bit awkward though I'm not sure why. Maybe 'to bring you in' or 'to induce you'?
"No..." For that elongated sound, 'No-o-o"
Hades must have left out part of the prophecy. I mean, he's already one of the 12, so what does he gain by marrying Echo? I am intrigued. Anticipating the next chapter!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
-
Hi Faith,
Thank you for the six stars and for helping me with the grammar and structure, all invaluable!! I will go back and spiff it up!
One of the shortcomings of this site is foreshadowing loses its effectiveness when there are weeks and months between chapters. During the time the specters were after Echo, they told her their boss wanted her. His bigger reason hasn?t been revealed yet, but it coming.
Little Hannah is so into other people?s business, she had to wake up to tell, lol. She had been trying for a while.
Again, thanks for the grammar help. You?re wonderful!
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Daylily
Your postings are gripping...as well as the artwork. Such a collection of gorgeous men! I am loving this story having so many surprising twists and turns. :-)
Just one typo noticed:
Hades raised his eyebrows, his eyes betraying amusement. "Miss Echo Jones from Taylorville, you're (your) presence here is certainly no accident, and I have no intention of letting you go.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
|
Your postings are gripping...as well as the artwork. Such a collection of gorgeous men! I am loving this story having so many surprising twists and turns. :-)
Just one typo noticed:
Hades raised his eyebrows, his eyes betraying amusement. "Miss Echo Jones from Taylorville, you're (your) presence here is certainly no accident, and I have no intention of letting you go.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
-
Hi Lily,
Thank you so very much for the amazing 6 stars. I really appreciate them!
I try to represent the Greek gods as they would have been in the day. The Greeks were so into athleticism and body perfection, plus which, hot guys are hot guys, lol.
Hugs,
Rhonda