As the Planet Revolves
a 50-word story10 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Straight and to the point. I have been telling people that folks need a contract not a wedding ceremony. No one should be bonded before the age of thirty. The women have the babies it is their name which should be carried into the future. There will be no illegitimate children. Karen
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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Straight and to the point. I have been telling people that folks need a contract not a wedding ceremony. No one should be bonded before the age of thirty. The women have the babies it is their name which should be carried into the future. There will be no illegitimate children. Karen
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Karen
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You are welcome :-)
Comment from Sallyo
Betrayal! Jealousy! Mudder! Witty assassin! And all the rest of it. We'd better not ask what happened to the wife...did she get ventilated too, or had Dale vented sufficiently?
I could finish this review with a line of !!!!! but I disapprove of doing that. Oh. I did it.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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Betrayal! Jealousy! Mudder! Witty assassin! And all the rest of it. We'd better not ask what happened to the wife...did she get ventilated too, or had Dale vented sufficiently?
I could finish this review with a line of !!!!! but I disapprove of doing that. Oh. I did it.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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I simple stick in a line of periods when the useful comments dry up.
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Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh dear, revenge is sweet in this post and I enjoyed this inventive little story for the contest and wish you luck! Caught in the act comes to mind, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Oh dear, revenge is sweet in this post and I enjoyed this inventive little story for the contest and wish you luck! Caught in the act comes to mind, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Dolly
Comment from Begin Again
Oops! Gil and the wife have been confronted and someone's got to go! Guess since Dale has the revolver, we know it's not him. But does the wife get off scot-free and what keeps her from telling the police. Two bullets?
Good job!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Oops! Gil and the wife have been confronted and someone's got to go! Guess since Dale has the revolver, we know it's not him. But does the wife get off scot-free and what keeps her from telling the police. Two bullets?
Good job!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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That reminds me of a joke, which I will amend to fit here:
If Dale entered a room holding a pistol, with only two bullets in it, and there he found Gil, Adolph Hitler, and Joseph Stalin, he would shoot Gil twice.
Comment from Mark Jackson
I like the fact that your title is fore shadowing the advent of the revolver later. I am no expert but do gun men aim to shoot victim's and have them ventilated?
Good story, good luck.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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I like the fact that your title is fore shadowing the advent of the revolver later. I am no expert but do gun men aim to shoot victim's and have them ventilated?
Good story, good luck.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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When holes go through, it can be said the target is "vented". : )
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lol
Comment from Wendy G
A very dramatic short story, and you have a beginning, middle and powerful end! Yes, no point in her tryingto be smart, when her (and their) guilt was obvious. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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A very dramatic short story, and you have a beginning, middle and powerful end! Yes, no point in her tryingto be smart, when her (and their) guilt was obvious. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Wendy
Comment from Julie Helms
Everybody is acting so casual in your story. The cheating wife and the betrayed husband. All very calm and collected: the adultery and the impending shooting!
Interesting story with a twist for the contest. I wish you the best of luck! Julie.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Everybody is acting so casual in your story. The cheating wife and the betrayed husband. All very calm and collected: the adultery and the impending shooting!
Interesting story with a twist for the contest. I wish you the best of luck! Julie.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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It is a soap opera theme. The title is a word play on As the World Turns.
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Ah!! I did miss that! Thanks. :-)
Comment from Douglas Goff
I am supposing that would be a justifiable homicide in Texas. Ha!
There sure are some interesting pieces of work showing up in this tiny Flash Contest.
Good job and good luck in this interesting field!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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I am supposing that would be a justifiable homicide in Texas. Ha!
There sure are some interesting pieces of work showing up in this tiny Flash Contest.
Good job and good luck in this interesting field!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Douglas
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the 50 Word Flash Writing Prompt. nice job making every word count in making it a complete story. The twist ending was satisfying. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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An excellent entry for the 50 Word Flash Writing Prompt. nice job making every word count in making it a complete story. The twist ending was satisfying. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Marilyn
Comment from jessizero
You managed to tell a complete story in just fifty words. It was surprising, and that last line really nailed it. I must admit I was cheering for Dale. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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You managed to tell a complete story in just fifty words. It was surprising, and that last line really nailed it. I must admit I was cheering for Dale. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Jessizero