Reviews from

What We See

Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "What We See - Chapter 23"
A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life

17 total reviews 
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the way you get Alan to de-escalate the situation gradually. Bringing Mrs Dunbar's point of view around in a believable way was always going to be difficult. I think you had the balance just right.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    Thanks for your assessment, Tony. It was a challenge to be able to get someone so entrenched in her way of thinking to possibly consider that she may be wrong, not only for Alan, but for me as the author to do it in a convincing way.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hmm, this is written well, and the outcome was a good one. It works well in your slice of life story. I'm sure those with this condition will read this part and see parallels to their own struggles. Hopefully, they had strong and attentive parents.

Good work.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024
    Thanks very much, Lance. I was a little leery when I saw that "Hmm" because you usually tear the story apart when you start that way, but not so this time.

    Having attentive parents definitely helps. Gotta keep those teachers honest.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another excellent chapter. You are educating people about dyslexia in such a pleasant manner. I don't see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
    Thanks very much, Lee. I'm happy to bring attention to an issue that baffles many who aren't very familiar with it. It can't be cured, as yet, but there are things that can be done to lessen its effect, as much of Part 2 will be devoted to.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-Yes. I agree Jim, I think your Mr. Hafner story goes well in this confrontation with Tommy's teacher. I would probably be like Ginnie, ready for a shouting match.
Another good chapter, and the story is going well.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
    Thanks so much, Valda. I'm sure a lot of people would be like Ginnie, the mama bear whose cub had been attacked. It's very difficult to hear your kid being torn down unfairly.
Comment from T B Botts
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Jim,
I'm so glad Alan was available to go to the school. Not only did he diffuse the situation, but Ginny got another chance to get to know him a little better. That the teacher is willing to check into the problem further is good, although the damage has been done. No teacher worth their weight in salt would humiliate a student like she di. Well done.
Blessings,
Tom

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
    Hard to imagine, isn't it, but I've heard from a few reviewers how they had had teachers like that. Shocking, really, and so inappropriate. This is what tenure gets you sometimes.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is very good and I really like the story about how the teacher gave him a chance to prove himself, so it is in a perfect place. Actually it was in a really good place before, so maybe you need to tell it twice, maybe just changing a few words or referring to another question he got wrong on the test because of his dyslexia.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
    Glad you approved of the change, Carol. I think it has more impact here. I'll think about what you said about maybe a stripped-down version of the story where it originally was.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great work on this chapter and I am glad you put Alan's high experience story here. I'd like to have some interruption our questions from Mrs. Dunbar to make the dialogue more natural.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
    Thanks very much, Helen. That's a good suggestion, and I will do that for draft #2.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, kindness in all situations will always help. Unfortunately, her added about laziness will not help students who struggle. Never should a teacher put a student down.

After school the next day, Ginnie (the following day, I couldn't help myself.)

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
    I agree with you. That's a horrible way to talk to a student and does no good in the short-run or the long-run. They don't realize how devastating these remarks can be, and how long the kids may hold onto them.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is very good. I've never thought much about dyslexia but I've learned more about it by reading. I've know quite a few slow readers over the years and probably had it and it wasn't being recognized.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
    Thank you, Beth. That's very true. My older brother figures he has a mild form of dyslexia because he reads so slowly. We had never heard of it when we were kids in the '50s and '60s.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great episode Jim, a rare example of what students had to put up with in the day, I think there are special schools to give special opportunity to those students with learning difficulties, at least here, beautifully written, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
    Thanks very much, Roy. These students when they are older, often go into vocational schools rather than college, although they are just as bright as the college-bound.
reply by royowen on 20-Mar-2024
    That?s right