Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "The Child Departs"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
13 total reviews
Comment from Annmuma
Great chapter. It is a clearly written and described glimpse into the easy-going year or so into real- life, if there is such a thing. As with all of your writing, it has the feel of honesty and vulnerability. I enjoyed. ann
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Great chapter. It is a clearly written and described glimpse into the easy-going year or so into real- life, if there is such a thing. As with all of your writing, it has the feel of honesty and vulnerability. I enjoyed. ann
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Thank you Ann what a fine compliment which I will treasure always I'm happy to see you here honored to receive your review and hope that you're having a great day!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Looks like I read this chapter out of sequence; of course, I've most always done things ass backwards in life. But to me, rules were made to be broken. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Looks like I read this chapter out of sequence; of course, I've most always done things ass backwards in life. But to me, rules were made to be broken. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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What fun in life is there if you don't break a rule now and again or at least bend it severely! It's the adventure of it all and the unknown I can relate! Thank you again my friend for your review I am completely appreciating it and it's nice to see you here thanks again!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This was a good chapter that felt like normal life. You even point out all the things that you were so excited to do, like concerts, dance clubs, hikes and swimming. But the ones that still stand out were just that you could take your own bath with your own bath water and be allowed to eat.
Punctuation fix and capitalization:
"are you waking up in there dear?
Try: "Are you waking up in there, dear?"
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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This was a good chapter that felt like normal life. You even point out all the things that you were so excited to do, like concerts, dance clubs, hikes and swimming. But the ones that still stand out were just that you could take your own bath with your own bath water and be allowed to eat.
Punctuation fix and capitalization:
"are you waking up in there dear?
Try: "Are you waking up in there, dear?"
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Wonderful thank you for your awesome comments truly you have a unique perspective and you also point out what I was trying to say and thank you for the edit suggestions too I am grateful for that as well I always look forward to your reviews and I'm happy to see you here I hope you're having a great day!
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Hope you are having a good day, too.
Comment from EILEEN LAW
"Your welcome dear." She said. sb You're welcome dear
Well written - so fleeting. We all search for home in one way or another. Struggling to find safety and peace. Some find it easily having rested in the comforting bosom of a loving family. Other struggle their whole lives.
Welcome to your next level of peace.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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"Your welcome dear." She said. sb You're welcome dear
Well written - so fleeting. We all search for home in one way or another. Struggling to find safety and peace. Some find it easily having rested in the comforting bosom of a loving family. Other struggle their whole lives.
Welcome to your next level of peace.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Further to my message thank you again for this great review it's a fine honor and I'm truly humbled I hope that you have an amazing day thank you again for your comments and for taking the time to write! Thanks again!
Comment from Jessica Wheeler
This is one of my absolute favorites of yours! This moment in time is so well expressed, and literally takes the reader to your state of Bliss! The end leaves me needing to know more! Wonderful writing, Lea!
Xo
Jess
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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This is one of my absolute favorites of yours! This moment in time is so well expressed, and literally takes the reader to your state of Bliss! The end leaves me needing to know more! Wonderful writing, Lea!
Xo
Jess
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Thank you again Jessica further to my message before I really appreciate this fine rating and this great review I thank you for the honor sorry it's such a late return I've been off in the mountains looking for a new home which I found thank you again very much I hope you're having a great day!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm enjoying reading this story and know it will help many others. DIALOGUE!!!
Then I heard Mrs. B,
"are you waking up in there dear? Breakfast is getting cold." (move dialogue closer to Mrs. B, and capital '
'A' on 'Are')
Responding I said, "yes Mrs. B thank you, I'm coming!" (Yes Mrs. B,)
need the flat deck for the drive in." P replied. (drive in,")
Get more people in." P answered. (people in,")
And you young lady what are you doing?" (comma after 'you')
home for supper then." She said, more of a statement than a question. (supper then, " she said)
fend-for-yourself-night." Mrs. B said. (night,)
"Your welcome dear." She said. (You're welcome, dear," she said)
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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I'm enjoying reading this story and know it will help many others. DIALOGUE!!!
Then I heard Mrs. B,
"are you waking up in there dear? Breakfast is getting cold." (move dialogue closer to Mrs. B, and capital '
'A' on 'Are')
Responding I said, "yes Mrs. B thank you, I'm coming!" (Yes Mrs. B,)
need the flat deck for the drive in." P replied. (drive in,")
Get more people in." P answered. (people in,")
And you young lady what are you doing?" (comma after 'you')
home for supper then." She said, more of a statement than a question. (supper then, " she said)
fend-for-yourself-night." Mrs. B said. (night,)
"Your welcome dear." She said. (You're welcome, dear," she said)
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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You are right my dialogue needs attention. Just as soon as I get out of this lower mainland that will be my focus I will be leaving here in a week's time for my new home in the mountains where I feel I belong I thank you for your edits you are very helpful to me I want you to know how much I appreciate that and I hope you have an amazing day my apologies for my late response I hope you are well thank you again!
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Good luck with the move. My prayers are with you. I'm considering writing a post on using dialogue, but not sure it would help anyone, or anyone would bother reading. You're not the only one who struggles with dialogue. Dialogue seems to be my strong area.
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I would absolutely love that and you get an instant six from me!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What another lovely chapter which feels so exhilarating to read! I love this exciting transition from childhood as though I'm actually going through it myself:)). And I didn't think it would be long before you realised that you must contribute to the household in appreciation for the generosity being received. But, oh dear, just as you're settling, C is going away! There are some small edits: After meeting with the lawyer from (whom)...; inseparable and joined at the hip (I would say one or the other, no need for both); (A)re you waking up in there; (Y)es; I bounce(d) out of bed (no need for myself); adult (things x 1); An excellent read, Lea! Love Debbie x
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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What another lovely chapter which feels so exhilarating to read! I love this exciting transition from childhood as though I'm actually going through it myself:)). And I didn't think it would be long before you realised that you must contribute to the household in appreciation for the generosity being received. But, oh dear, just as you're settling, C is going away! There are some small edits: After meeting with the lawyer from (whom)...; inseparable and joined at the hip (I would say one or the other, no need for both); (A)re you waking up in there; (Y)es; I bounce(d) out of bed (no need for myself); adult (things x 1); An excellent read, Lea! Love Debbie x
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Thank you Debbie for your kindness and for your reviews it's so great to have yours you're always so insightful and intelligent or the wisdom but not many possess so thank you again I'm sorry for my late response I've been away in the mountains looking for my new home which I now have cell phone reception is sporadic unfortunately so thank you again I hope you have the best day!
Comment from BethShelby
I can't imagine many people would take you in for that long a period and allow you to be family with no real expectations for you to contribute by work or money. The lady seems like she treats you like you belong there. Of course things change. I wonder if your will be going with C.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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I can't imagine many people would take you in for that long a period and allow you to be family with no real expectations for you to contribute by work or money. The lady seems like she treats you like you belong there. Of course things change. I wonder if your will be going with C.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Hi Beth thank you you really are smart lady with lots of wisdom I appreciate that! Have family it's very kind to me and still remains so to this day even though Mr and Mrs B have passed on I still have close relationships with their two sons. Thank you again my friend I appreciate you and your comments and I'm happy to see you here!
Comment from Jim Wile
Lea, if I had any 6s left, I would give this chapter one. There were so many good and interesting parts to it.
"You children would be in the same diaper you were in when I left for work until I came home." My goodness, what a shocking thing your father revealed to you. I just can't imagine such a narcissistic and irresponsible person as your mother.
And then, "Even in the home itself, being able to have a bath that I didn't have to share. Being allowed to eat. Being seen as a person. Not being hit. I was truly lucky." The fact that you felt lucky to experience such normal, expected things just underscores how deprived and sickening your childhood was.
And "Inevitably, life changes no matter how much we wish things could remain the same. We might go along just like that sometimes for years but change comes inevitably and will not be held back forever. So it was for me, so it is to this day, so it is for everyone." That is so wise. That is a universal truth that we all must accept. Very astute.
There were just so many parts to this chapter that were fascinating, and I was riveted. - Jim
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Lea, if I had any 6s left, I would give this chapter one. There were so many good and interesting parts to it.
"You children would be in the same diaper you were in when I left for work until I came home." My goodness, what a shocking thing your father revealed to you. I just can't imagine such a narcissistic and irresponsible person as your mother.
And then, "Even in the home itself, being able to have a bath that I didn't have to share. Being allowed to eat. Being seen as a person. Not being hit. I was truly lucky." The fact that you felt lucky to experience such normal, expected things just underscores how deprived and sickening your childhood was.
And "Inevitably, life changes no matter how much we wish things could remain the same. We might go along just like that sometimes for years but change comes inevitably and will not be held back forever. So it was for me, so it is to this day, so it is for everyone." That is so wise. That is a universal truth that we all must accept. Very astute.
There were just so many parts to this chapter that were fascinating, and I was riveted. - Jim
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Thank you Jim thank you again that's an amazing review as always you're a great reviewer my apologies again for responding so late her cell phone reception is not that great when traveling through the mountains I have found my new home away from him though keep updating everybody thank you again my friend I'm so happy to see you here!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
I'm glad you got a chance to meet with your biological father. His explanation about your mom might help you to understand some things. I can't really judge the man because I don't know him, but it seems unfortunate that he left you girls to fend for yourselves when your mom was too much for him. How can little girls possibly navigate life without a sense of belonging and a direction.
I was wondering when you were going to start thinking about getting a job. While it's wonderful that P's family has welcomed you in, the welcome could wear thin after awhile.
It seems like you're moving forward in your life gal. As you know, life has it's ups and downs, but I'm sincerely hoping that your life is going upward and will continue in the right direction. Hang in there my friend.
Blessings,
Tom
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Hello Lea,
I'm glad you got a chance to meet with your biological father. His explanation about your mom might help you to understand some things. I can't really judge the man because I don't know him, but it seems unfortunate that he left you girls to fend for yourselves when your mom was too much for him. How can little girls possibly navigate life without a sense of belonging and a direction.
I was wondering when you were going to start thinking about getting a job. While it's wonderful that P's family has welcomed you in, the welcome could wear thin after awhile.
It seems like you're moving forward in your life gal. As you know, life has it's ups and downs, but I'm sincerely hoping that your life is going upward and will continue in the right direction. Hang in there my friend.
Blessings,
Tom
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Tom thank you so much for your kindness my apologies for my late response I've been away in the mountains looking for my new home which I have found cell phone reception however is erratic thank you so much for your kindness for your thoughtful review and you are so right about many things I appreciate you I hope you have a wonderful day!