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Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Evil in the Window"A Flash Fiction Collection
30 total reviews
Comment from JP_Ryan
This is brilliant, It pulled me in right from the start, I didn't even sip my coffee once I started reading until I was finished. thank you so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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This is brilliant, It pulled me in right from the start, I didn't even sip my coffee once I started reading until I was finished. thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Lance, this is an incredible piece of work. The ending pulls your mind in so many directions that go way beyond this short story.
So much went wrong and with destructive consequences in such a short time. Perfect! Congratulations on your win! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Lance, this is an incredible piece of work. The ending pulls your mind in so many directions that go way beyond this short story.
So much went wrong and with destructive consequences in such a short time. Perfect! Congratulations on your win! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much, John.
Comment from Boogienights
I'm really glad you won, it was well deserved. A surprise ending, and while the child lied, that was still no excuse for the violence. Very well written and it kept my attention.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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I'm really glad you won, it was well deserved. A surprise ending, and while the child lied, that was still no excuse for the violence. Very well written and it kept my attention.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much.
Comment from XinaD
What a compelling story! I was riveted, all the way through. From the fight, to the arrest, to the possibility of them seeing each other again when Dad is released. That twist at the end, though. Very clever. I did not see that coming. Excellent job!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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What a compelling story! I was riveted, all the way through. From the fight, to the arrest, to the possibility of them seeing each other again when Dad is released. That twist at the end, though. Very clever. I did not see that coming. Excellent job!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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 A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review. |
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much.
Comment from cupa tea
Really nice short story. Dad needed to not have such a short temper. I saw a few sentence fragments in there. Otherwise, I loved it!
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Really nice short story. Dad needed to not have such a short temper. I saw a few sentence fragments in there. Otherwise, I loved it!
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much. Much appreciated. Have a great night.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lancellot,
wow, that was some story. The way you wrote it, it's absolutely believable. What is that saying about lying - oh what a tangled web we weave when something, something we deceive. There is certainly a law of sowing and reaping, but exactly what we will reap is hard to say. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Blessings,
Tom
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2024
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Hello Lancellot,
wow, that was some story. The way you wrote it, it's absolutely believable. What is that saying about lying - oh what a tangled web we weave when something, something we deceive. There is certainly a law of sowing and reaping, but exactly what we will reap is hard to say. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Blessings,
Tom
Comment Written 06-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much, Tom.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Well, this unexpected:"Dad writes me every week. I haven't written him back. How can I? How do I tell him I spent my trip money on candy? How do I tell my father, he traded twenty-five years for an evil child's five dollar lie? They say evil people go to prison. Sometimes, they don't. Sometimes, they just sit in the window." But sometimes a white lie change your life forever.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Well, this unexpected:"Dad writes me every week. I haven't written him back. How can I? How do I tell him I spent my trip money on candy? How do I tell my father, he traded twenty-five years for an evil child's five dollar lie? They say evil people go to prison. Sometimes, they don't. Sometimes, they just sit in the window." But sometimes a white lie change your life forever.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much, Iza. You got it. A little white lie can do a huge amount of damage.
Comment from tfawcus
Great story, Lance. I'll certainly be voting for it in the Story of the Month contest. Well paced, graphic, and funny in a black humour sort of way. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Great story, Lance. I'll certainly be voting for it in the Story of the Month contest. Well paced, graphic, and funny in a black humour sort of way. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much. I appreciate the great review.
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Not exactly a great review but the best I could do in the time available. I just wanted to let you know how much I had enjoyed your story.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
DAMN!! I missed this when it was originally up! I LOVE what you've done here. It's so dark and yet so believable! Great narrative "voice," and compelling tale from start to finish. I can definitely see Story of the Month winner in your future!! Good luck to you, Lancellot! xoxoxo
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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DAMN!! I missed this when it was originally up! I LOVE what you've done here. It's so dark and yet so believable! Great narrative "voice," and compelling tale from start to finish. I can definitely see Story of the Month winner in your future!! Good luck to you, Lancellot! xoxoxo
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much, Rachelle.